I believe true friends are scarce. Most people have friendly acquaintanceships with co-workers, members of a group they belong to (such as a choir), or people they see frequently (checkers at their market). These people will be nice, act interested in you, and express appropriate sentiments (Happy Birthday, Congratulations on your [event]) as long as they are not inconvenienced or asked to provide any actual help. They may call themselves your friends, especially if YOU have actually helped THEM through a difficult physical, financial or emotional period. But beware: while you may have been a true friend TO THEM, they are NOT TRUE FRIENDS TO YOU.
Don't be surprised when they're unavailable in your time of need. Do not trust them with any information you wouldn't want published on FaceBook. Do not share your opinion of any mutual acquaintances. And be on your guard for a knife between your ribs if cutting you will advance them in any way (especially true for co-workers). Don't believe anything they say about your supervisor or manager, especially anything negative! Don't allow them to believe you agree with them, and be sure to let them know you neither listen to or repeat gossip!
If the person you'd like to be friends with displays none of these behaviors, and you have shared values and interests, then you should invest time in getting to know him/her better. But do it slowly! A true friend is a rare gift, and the time you invest will either alert you that this isn't someone you'd want a a friend, or reward you with a friend whom you can love and trust.
Is it normal that I don't have any good friends?
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I believe true friends are scarce. Most people have friendly acquaintanceships with co-workers, members of a group they belong to (such as a choir), or people they see frequently (checkers at their market). These people will be nice, act interested in you, and express appropriate sentiments (Happy Birthday, Congratulations on your [event]) as long as they are not inconvenienced or asked to provide any actual help. They may call themselves your friends, especially if YOU have actually helped THEM through a difficult physical, financial or emotional period. But beware: while you may have been a true friend TO THEM, they are NOT TRUE FRIENDS TO YOU.
Don't be surprised when they're unavailable in your time of need. Do not trust them with any information you wouldn't want published on FaceBook. Do not share your opinion of any mutual acquaintances. And be on your guard for a knife between your ribs if cutting you will advance them in any way (especially true for co-workers). Don't believe anything they say about your supervisor or manager, especially anything negative! Don't allow them to believe you agree with them, and be sure to let them know you neither listen to or repeat gossip!
If the person you'd like to be friends with displays none of these behaviors, and you have shared values and interests, then you should invest time in getting to know him/her better. But do it slowly! A true friend is a rare gift, and the time you invest will either alert you that this isn't someone you'd want a a friend, or reward you with a friend whom you can love and trust.