Is it normal that i don't feel gay enough?

69% Normal
18 Comments

I wake up in the morning and I know that I'm gay. I see a guy and I totally crush. I am chivalrous in every sense of the word and I am very athletic. Ever since I realized I was gay Ive been pushed into this closet gay persona because I am not gay enough. People dont even believe me when I tell them I'm gay. I dont even think gay dudes even notice me because I seem so straight. Its so frustrating that sometimes I try to be straight and then it makes me really depressed. I have been watching unuted states of tara lately and marshall really reminds me of the believe system that I have. I may be a little more effeminate than other guys but I dont where my gay on my skin. Sometimes it angers me because people think gay for guys means acting like a girl. If I wanted to date a girl I would. There is so much that I just don't do, plus I'm not into fashion, I play basketball, and I walk normally and enjoy doing guy things I can't seem to make myself gay enough. I have like zero gay friends, only associates, and most of my straight friends who are guys eventually end up being weird relationships because of it. Other than the united states of tara there are no gay characters in tv shows that I can relate to and on top of that I dont feel attractive enough for guys. On the other hand girls have been decent for me and I find it easier to find girlfriends tan guys. I know I'm a nice guy and I just want to be me and feel like one day I have a chance of my true love noticing me. Do I have to be more gay?

Voting Results
69% Normal
Based on 103 votes (71 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • crazyjane
    14 years ago | pl

    I think you are adorable!

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    • eats,shoots_and_leaves
      11 years ago

      same here

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    You are gay and testimony to what being gay is and isn't: it is about sexual orientation & otherwise being as varied and different as any other persons; it is not about being a silly-assed stereotype & cliche.

    Like the others ^^^ said - just be yourself.

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  • bradderz
    13 years ago

    Just be yourself... I had a similar dilema when I first came out... Lots of people at my work wouldn't believe I was gay until they met my boyfriend etc...

    I found that making more effort in the gay world (ie bars and clubs) you will actually find that through the outragouse (sp?) poofyness of it all, actually there are quiet a lot of guys like 'us' out there.

    Having said that, as I get older I seem to be getting slightly queerer too lol.

    Just be yourself and try and make an effort on the scene and see what happens! But you can never not be gay enough or too gay!

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  • screaminasian
    14 years ago

    that sounds tough. I don't think you're abnormal to be non-flamy, but I think if you made an effort to be a part of the gay 'community' you'd end up a lot happier for it.
    don't go with girls if you're not into them, c'mon you know that's just gonna end up badly for both of you.
    try going out to like, some gay bars around your area, if it's not your scene then don't go back, it won't hurt you to see what's happening. I'm straight and I've been to a few gay bars in chicago with girls and they're not super flamboyant pink-festivals, just a bunch of friendly regular dudes lol. (+lady gaga)
    anyway gl mate

    (friend of mine works in fashion, lives in the gayest part of chicago (called boystown), i've met a lot of her gay friends and they don't speak with a lisp wear cutoff jeans or act stereotype 'gay' they're just regular guys who get laid a lot more than i do)

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    • TieDiedSuperstar
      13 years ago

      I agree, just be yourself. It's easier.

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  • eats,shoots_and_leaves
    11 years ago

    good, another non stereotype gay :3

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  • gmc.2
    11 years ago

    seriously ?? you just said that being gay doesnt mean acting like girls soooooooooo if you're gay that still mean that you're a man you don't have to act up gay gay to be one ;) be yourself

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  • phillostopher
    11 years ago

    Every Time I look back on this story I laugh and think about the comments. You all helped me soooooo much. It was tough, but after some time, I now have a boyfriend, that I love! Met him in class, and apparently we were in a lot of classes together lol. I have so many side stories to this story, and I have found that being gay is something that I am proud of and its not a sign that I stick to my body to get attention. My only problem now is where to go to dinner tonight!

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  • Epicspike
    12 years ago

    its ok. i somtimes wish i was a bi

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  • Lynxikat
    12 years ago

    Just because you're gay, doesn't mean you have to be the stereotypical gay- just do whatever makes you happy.

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    • Allistalla
      11 years ago

      Ok Honestly I dont see what your problem is and frankly poeple proboly like you more than most gay poeple becuase its not real ovbious or flamboyant and alot of poeple find flamboyant annoying I dont understand what your issue is no one cares ? ( Also I dont care flamboyant or strange but generelly reguluar poeple and strieght poeple dont dislike gays they hate thier flamboyaunt behavior thats coming from auctual poeple who think this poeple prefere when poeple act like themselves not a walking sterotype )

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      • Lynxikat
        11 years ago

        ...? What the hell are you talking about? "What's my problem?" No where in my comment was I insulting OP, or insulting the gays.

        I honestly can't understand a single word of your reply. Your grammar is awful. Of all the comments I've made for someone to ask "What's your problem?" THIS is certainly not one of them, especially when I was pretty sure I was positive in my comment.

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  • Checkles1104
    12 years ago

    I'm gay and I'm not the poster boy for what pple think gay is...but come on it's just our sexuality...it doesn't make you who you are.

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  • vudew
    12 years ago

    dude i feel like im in the exact same boat as you.

    im 6ft7 muay thai boxer. act straight, enjoy doing dudely things and stuff, and have zero gay friends.

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    • phillostopher
      12 years ago

      I almost made a gay friend this summer...but then he liked me and I didn't...things got weird, and I stopped talking to him...then he hated me.

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  • ilovemyjew
    12 years ago

    Just be yourself:) one luck dude will find you:) and you two will be happy:)

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  • hardstyletoxicrave
    13 years ago

    look dude i have a friend who is in the same situation and when i found im bisexual i had the same problem be yourself and dont change just because u feel u have to you wil lfind someone soon enough when the time is right=] im happy for you that your relising who you are=]

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