I was raped when I was 11; it even lasted for a few years. It turned my life upside down on all levels: psychologically, morally, socially, rationally, physically, etc. I've had therapy for a very long time and it still left a scar.
The thing is, I guess, you're either in denial or you are affected but you really cannot see it. There is no way, scientifically speaking, for you not to be affected by such an event. The slightest incidents, especially the ones that happened we were young, leave a trace and changes happen due to these incidents. Sometimes the changes are obvious and sometimes they're not. The changes are there though.
Being in denial is not something mundane as most people make it seem. It is a very serious psychological disorder. One cannot know if s/he is in denial. There is no way, if you are in denial about it, to know that you are in denial. I was in denial for almost a decade; I thought that the rape did not effect me, that I've had my share of crying, being all melodramatic, took my revenge from the man who raped me and that it simply passed. Nevertheless, when I went to rehab (for heroin addiction), spending 2 years in an indoor rehab, 24/7 therapy and then another 2 years in the out-patient continuation program, it wasn't until then that I finally understood that I was in denial. I saw why and what the justifications were and everything. It was a long and painful process, but eventually I really did get over it.
So my opinion is that you are most probably in denial too. Ask someone you really trust, someone who could step outside of the box and be sincerely objective, how s/he views you; it definitely affected you, one way or another. It might be something that you might've not related to the rape. For example, your sexual fantasy or a fetish. It could be emotionally, for instance, you are too cold or don't know how to express your feelings. It could be a million thing.
I might be wrong, but then again I might be right. I hope my comment would help a little, or perhaps answer some questions.
Xxx
Is it normal that I don't care that I was rape/molested?
← View full post
I was raped when I was 11; it even lasted for a few years. It turned my life upside down on all levels: psychologically, morally, socially, rationally, physically, etc. I've had therapy for a very long time and it still left a scar.
The thing is, I guess, you're either in denial or you are affected but you really cannot see it. There is no way, scientifically speaking, for you not to be affected by such an event. The slightest incidents, especially the ones that happened we were young, leave a trace and changes happen due to these incidents. Sometimes the changes are obvious and sometimes they're not. The changes are there though.
Being in denial is not something mundane as most people make it seem. It is a very serious psychological disorder. One cannot know if s/he is in denial. There is no way, if you are in denial about it, to know that you are in denial. I was in denial for almost a decade; I thought that the rape did not effect me, that I've had my share of crying, being all melodramatic, took my revenge from the man who raped me and that it simply passed. Nevertheless, when I went to rehab (for heroin addiction), spending 2 years in an indoor rehab, 24/7 therapy and then another 2 years in the out-patient continuation program, it wasn't until then that I finally understood that I was in denial. I saw why and what the justifications were and everything. It was a long and painful process, but eventually I really did get over it.
So my opinion is that you are most probably in denial too. Ask someone you really trust, someone who could step outside of the box and be sincerely objective, how s/he views you; it definitely affected you, one way or another. It might be something that you might've not related to the rape. For example, your sexual fantasy or a fetish. It could be emotionally, for instance, you are too cold or don't know how to express your feelings. It could be a million thing.
I might be wrong, but then again I might be right. I hope my comment would help a little, or perhaps answer some questions.
Xxx