Is it normal that i don't care?
Alright, I'm 19 years old and I just feel like all I'm doing is surviving. Eating up space, wasting my life. I have no ambition to go out and succeed, or go beyond expectation, or do any of that shit people do. I hate the people who run our government, I hate the people who pretend nothing bad is going on in the world, and I hate that everyone's turned their back on what it means to be in America and be an American. However, I'm getting off topic, so let me proceed. So I have a girlfriend of five years who I love very much, but I tend to purposely blow her off. It's not that I mean to, I just can't say no to anyone- but that's not it. Where I live I have to keep my room clean, do miscalenious(SP, I KNOW)tasks, pack my ruck sack, do this detail, do that detail, all this shit. I do them half assed of course, I always have my room semi cluttered and slightly dirty, always pack my ruck sack last minute, forget shit, leave shit behind, I don't care about buying things, or replacing lost items even though I could've prevented losing them in the first place. In other words, I don't give a shit about anything. I feel like I'm depressed all the time and with good reason. I'm not motivated to do anything, but I do them anyways (sometimes). I feel like I'm rambling and that I'm a lost person. I mean I care, but I don't care at the same time. Does that make sense? Am I just a fucked up guy?