I don't think my first reply really explained well enough. Here, "bless your heart" isn't rude. You couldn't start a fight with it. It's considered a polite thing to say. But it's also often an indication that an unflattering judgement is being made. It depends on context. If you've got flu, for instance, and somebody says "bless your heart", they're probably being sincere, unless they've previously warned you to wear thicker socks or something, in which case it means "Well aren't you stupid!" If you hear a Southerner say "bless his/her heart" about somebody who isn't present, it's almost always an insult, though. Even if they're talking about somebody's misfortune, the phrase implies that they believe the person is in some way responsible for it.
It's very passive aggressive, which is how many old fashioned Southern pleasantries are. My great (with some number of greats greater than 0 but less, I think, than 5) grandmother would get very annoyed with Northerners who she invited into her home for tea or a chat. You see, after a while, she would say "Would you like to stay for dinner?" and they would agree that dinner would be lovely. The problem is that in old fashioned Southern lady*, "Would you like to stay for dinner?" meant (and probably still means, in some places) "We're going to have dinner soon. It's time for you to leave."
Of course, instead of clarifying, she would just make them dinner. I think if somebody speaking fashioned Southern lady clarifies her weird, passive aggressive code, space pterodactyls come out and rip the fabric of the world apart, like in that episode of Dr Who where Rose touches her past self.
*I say "lady" because this sort of code seems to be used particularly frequently by women, probably because the social expectation for women to be polite is much greater than for men.
Is It Normal that I didn't pay for friends drinks in birthday ?
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I don't think my first reply really explained well enough. Here, "bless your heart" isn't rude. You couldn't start a fight with it. It's considered a polite thing to say. But it's also often an indication that an unflattering judgement is being made. It depends on context. If you've got flu, for instance, and somebody says "bless your heart", they're probably being sincere, unless they've previously warned you to wear thicker socks or something, in which case it means "Well aren't you stupid!" If you hear a Southerner say "bless his/her heart" about somebody who isn't present, it's almost always an insult, though. Even if they're talking about somebody's misfortune, the phrase implies that they believe the person is in some way responsible for it.
It's very passive aggressive, which is how many old fashioned Southern pleasantries are. My great (with some number of greats greater than 0 but less, I think, than 5) grandmother would get very annoyed with Northerners who she invited into her home for tea or a chat. You see, after a while, she would say "Would you like to stay for dinner?" and they would agree that dinner would be lovely. The problem is that in old fashioned Southern lady*, "Would you like to stay for dinner?" meant (and probably still means, in some places) "We're going to have dinner soon. It's time for you to leave."
Of course, instead of clarifying, she would just make them dinner. I think if somebody speaking fashioned Southern lady clarifies her weird, passive aggressive code, space pterodactyls come out and rip the fabric of the world apart, like in that episode of Dr Who where Rose touches her past self.
*I say "lady" because this sort of code seems to be used particularly frequently by women, probably because the social expectation for women to be polite is much greater than for men.
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thats interesting