Is it normal that i didn't cry but...

76% Normal
9 Comments

It's been 2 years since my best friend died... My only true friend back in that time... He didn't have much time left, so I visited him every day in the hospital... Every day... Knowing... I couldn't see him any more after that week... When he was back home for his last 2 days or so... I send him a farewell text, right before he died... I felt it when he died, every cell in my body cramped... He died... Then at the funeral, everyone cried... Except me... I wanted to, but my tears didn't come...

They wouldn't come out... Then when he got buried, when I could get one last glimpse at his coffin, it teared my heart in half... Yet no tears... It's 2 years later and it still tears me down... The pain is a little less than it used to be... But it still hurts... There's so much I want to show him... But he's gone... If only he could see... How my life turned out for the better... (mostly) is it normal I feel so teared about it... Yet I don't cry?

When that friend died... Almost nobody thought I cared about him... While inside, my pain, I could barely control it... It's contained now... But sometimes it comes out... Then I just wish... Just wish I could have one more conversation with him... Tell him... How much he means to me... He made me feel special... Needed as a friend... Not only as fun, but also as a friend who could be trusted with his deepest secrets... As he was that for me...

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 38 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Galvani
    12 years ago

    Ehm... Huh? No I'm not scared? Just miss my friend a lot.

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  • ValerieTDL
    12 years ago

    Naww, =(

    You poor thing, sometimes sadness goes so deep it doesn't come, like... Like when youre abducted so to say, I dont know how it feels like but I reccon you become so full of fear that your acts become fearless, do you get what I mean? Cant really explain sorry :/

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  • Galvani
    12 years ago

    Feel free to think it's a troll story, and no I don't need the aw treatment, I always type like that when I feel sad. Oh and thanks to the people who believe me, typing that story really relieved me.

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  • joybird
    12 years ago

    I deal with the loss of a loved one on a daily basis but I'm just afraid to let go and cry in case I can't stop :o( so I'm wondering if this is your own issue sub-consciously? Perhaps, if you're male you think people expect you to be strong. I'm perceived as a feisty female so would never show any sign of weakness. However, sometimes if I get the house to myself and come across a sad film, I find myself weeping uncontrollably.

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  • Who_Fan4Life
    12 years ago

    Agreed with Itduz. This sounds like a troll story.

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  • Josie_57
    12 years ago

    first of all, im sorry for your loss. its clear that you cared about your friend a lot. and yes its normal, everyone copes with grief and sadness in different ways. just dont bottle up your feelings too much, try talking about it with someone, maybe someone else who was close with him as well.this often helps with the grieving process. Also, ignore the person above- im sure you havent made it up.

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  • Galvani
    12 years ago

    Ok, I will, thanks.

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  • luluf
    12 years ago

    It is normal, people deal with pain in many different ways. It might hurt inside but you don't need to cry to show your pain, plus you were prepare for him to die so it wasn't a shock to your heart. Don't deal with the pain alone though try to find a way to express it, not necessarily crying but maybe thrue writing, painting, exercise.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Why did you have to try to make it sound very dramatic by repeating the same thing twice for emotional effect? Why did you keep going "..." aswell for dramatic effect?
    It makes me wonder if this story is real or you're trying to get the "aw" treatment.

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