I reckon its your wife's fault why the kids are like that, because they get what they want and get away with what they want with her. So don't blame them too much, but I would suggest that you leave your wife. You'll be much happier. Maybe find someone else? If you get your children then you will be able to teach them some manners and make rules, that way they may turn out to be better children, and if you don't get them well then you will have some space from them. But still fight to at least have shared custody of them.
Is it normal that I DESPISE my kids?
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I reckon its your wife's fault why the kids are like that, because they get what they want and get away with what they want with her. So don't blame them too much, but I would suggest that you leave your wife. You'll be much happier. Maybe find someone else? If you get your children then you will be able to teach them some manners and make rules, that way they may turn out to be better children, and if you don't get them well then you will have some space from them. But still fight to at least have shared custody of them.