Are you kidding me? Fuck. You are unbarable. Nearly every comment you make.
He clearly stated that when he tries to make a decision that his wife bypasses his parental choices, meaning he has can't take any responsibility for his parenting because every choice he makes as a parent is being challenged and changed by his wife.
Maybe it never accured to you that maybe, just maybe, he can't do anything to change his children because his wife won't let him? Ofcourse not, the mother can't do any wrong, even when "she" is the one lifting the father's foot when he is putting it down to try change his children. He tries to change his children, yet his wife isn't allowing him to try make them seme more respectful, yet it is the father's fault? Are you serious? Pathetic.
"They have daddy issues" yet he can't do anthing about it because the wife won't let him, and that's his fault? Ugh. Piss off.
Because irrational thinking irritates me, and it irritates me even more when it is irrationality that is repeated, then expects me to be nice.
This person tried to blame the husband for things he tried to fix but wasn't allowed to because his wife basically wouldn't let him, yet this stupic, irrational, less of a humanbeing insisted on blaming the husband.
I didn't used to be this hateful. I used to actually avoid bringing hate in to my comments, but this generation of IIN users are so impared to rational thinking and understanding that they can't understand simple things, their deductive reasoning is terrible, yet they insist on being right.
I have become sick and tired of the new community, the old onw was far more rational, far more helpful, and overall not as stupid as most here.
These people want to hear what they like to hear, not what the truth is, and this user's comment shows that.
The father doesn't want her daughter looking cheap and easy to get, and he doesn't want his son looking and acting like a thug, and his wife stops him from attempting to make them more respectable, and to this user's thought process he is a shitty dad for it.
I am nineteen, and I get so irritated, disgusted, and dissapointed that "these" people are my elders.
It sounds bitter but it's true. Just a few days ago I saw on my daughters facebook that she bought a new outfit for a house party on the other side of town. I asked her about it and she said she would be going over to her friend's house and that it was a casual get together and his parents would be home.
I know this family and I work with his Mom and they're out for the weekend for a prosthetics convention. She lied to me. I told her that she wasn't going. She went crying to Mom and all of five minutes later she's in my face giving me hell about my not letting my daughter have a teenage girl life and how I'm being overbearing and how I partied as a kid and she started yelling and screaming and threatened to kick me out for yelling back at her.
She's pretty much taught the kids that I am an overbearing asshole and I want her gone but that would mean I'd have to kiss my house and paychecks goodbye. I'm a grown man that has worked hard for my money and to provide for my family and if I want to lose this mess I'd have to give up everything I worked for. I'm tempted to move to Mexico.
Don't worry, you don't need to explain to me how something may sound bitter but can be true, I know that fill well, and it is a sad situation.
Wow, what? You really need to find some way of teaching your wife a lesson. Your children are a problem because your wife is the root problem, she is allowing them to get away with these things. Pretty sure I read that you were the one that was working for the family? I assume you bought or are renting the house you live in? Next time she threatens you to leave, tell her (if you are paying for the house) that it is your house, you pay for it, and if she dares says that she'll kick you out, it will happen to her. Also explain to her that if you are to get kicked out, she won't be getting any of your income, and that she can work for her children.
Yes, this woman definetly is a problem for you and your kids. You need to try do something about her, either on social means (talking to her) or in legal means (divorce and taking the kids). When you take the kids, she may have to work for child support, which will teach her how hard it was for you.
Why would you have to give up your house? Also, if you get the children, she would have to pay child support, which means you may get the same, just a little less, or more money back in which you have to pay her.
This is the society we live in, unfortunatly. Nobody cares about the hard working men, and fathers are almost always pushed out of the family setting now.
If you would be expected to pay all of this, and the children are taken away from you even though you have a job, etc, then I would actually suggest moving to Mexico. You would get away with not having to pay a woman that is, and excuse my French, a bitch, and she'd not get any child benefits from you, inb which she'd probably have to go to work herself.
You complain constantly about how this entire IIN community is irrational, overly emotional, illogical, stupid, placing yourself on some kind of pedestal as the pinnacle of logic, rationality and intelligence... Yet you stay here and continue to moan and whinge about it.
That seems irrational to me, like an abused spouse staying with their abuser :) Or even more relevantly like a father who utterly despises his kids and wife staying with his kids and wife.
Unless you gain some perverse gratification from being constantly irritated by us 'inferior beings'?
You're right, that was completely irrational, glad you realized that yourself.
Not the whole IIN community, the majority. There are many old time users still around that don't even bother commenting anymore because of how the community has turned. Do I think I am the pinnacle or rational thinking? No. Do I think I am more rational than people on here? Definetly. Do I think I am the most rational person here? No.
So, you're saying that if someone "moans" about something that they forfit all of their intelligence and reasoning? So if you moan, you instantly become "illogicla", "irrational", etc? This is the irrationality I'm talking about.
The only thing that I can not blame you for putting in that list is the emotional part. Am I sharing an emotion here? Yes. Am I lketting it ovecome my reasoning? No.
Well you obviously don't know what irrational and rational thinking are.
The situations are not the same, those examples were far off, especially the second one.
I am not being abused here, I am being fed up here. I am staying because I was here first, I respect some users on here, and I have become acustomed to this site. I use this more than Facebook. I know that one day this generation will move away from the site, and that's wha I'm waiting for.
The second one is just insulting. The problem here is that he can't get away from them without having to suffer by paying money, all because he wasn't allowed to be a parent due to his wife basically not letting him, only using him as a money bringer. What this man is going through is different to what I'm doing.
Like I said, I'm waiting for this generation to pass by. Do I think I'm more rational than most users here? Definetly. Do I think I am the most rational on this site? Obviously not.
No I didn't say you abandon all intelligence and reasoning when you 'moan' about something. I don't know what lines you were reading between, but that seems like quite a strange conclusion to jump to - quite an irrational one in fact.
My point was that for someone who prides themselves on being more rational than the majority of the community, it seems to be distinctly irrational to continue participation in a community you seem to dislike so much.
However, if you're simply waiting for the community to magically return back to what you think was the golden-age of IIN, then OK, that's a valid and rational reason, although you may be waiting a long time.
I don't see why that second analogy was insulting to you, or why it would be insulting to anybody else frankly. That seems like an overly emotional response to my very simple perspective; I don't think the central problem in this case is the OP not being able to parent how he deems appropriate, nor that he can't get away without paying money. I see the central problem as being his continuing in a family unit he despises. Why put yourself through the endless stress and anger just so you can remain with a wife you hate and your children whom you also hate? I think that's irrational - it's irrational because rationally a person aspires towards a life without trouble and suffering since it tends to go hand in hand with a long existence and happiness. He's staying in a situation which clearly makes the possibility of his finding happiness minute, which is like someone shooting you in the foot and then you complaining about it for hours and hours instead of going to a doctor.
(FYI: "Well you obviously don't know what irrational and rational thinking are." I do. Rationality is sensible and logical reasoning, it's very simple isn't it? Although you may want to consider that first part - 'sensible'. That's where the subjectivity lies - where one person's sensible can be another's insensible, where one person's rational can be another's irrational. There is no absolute)
He doesn't dislike the community, he dislikes what it's turning into.
Frankly, I can't say I blame him.
This site was designed as a safe place to share how you 'really' feel, but is abused by many users as a safe place to create even more lies about the self-image.
His comments -hell, my comments- got a hell of a lot more popular when they became less opionated and structured, and more 'funny' and whimsical. It happened to a bunch of users, really.
Yet you haven't explained why it's irrational. Am I supposed to just take your word for it? If you offer a point and I counter that point, will you accept that or will you just say something that implies you aren't going to continue mainly because you can't? Explain why the conclusion I have made is irrational.
I am waiting for the next IIN generation. Do I think it will be better than before? Most likely not, but anything is better than this generation, and even if it is a little better than this one, I would have made the right choice to stick around.
What anology? The part in which you compared me to two different situations? That was not emotion saying you were wrong, that was rationality. I explained why they are not comparable to my situation.
You do realize how a divorce can financially cripple men, right? If he does this he may never have the chance to lead another life to the extent he did before the divorce and departcher from the family. You seem to think that they can just poof out of a disrespectful family. If he was to do that, he would suffer, and the family will be seen as the victims.
This man has thought about them, and he has said the risk he runs is losing his home and his paycheck. So it's not that easy. If you think it's irrational to not leave a family because you run the risk of being bled dry with no chance of starting a new family, then that's very irrational of you.
Yes, and if he divorced and left, he would have more problems and troubles.
It's not at all like that example. It's more like being shot in the foot, going to the doctors, being denied treatment, then moaning for hours.
There is an absolute. If ones rationality is able to prove the others rationality wrong, the rationality that was proven right is the correct one.
Ok understandable that he doesn't want his kids to look like thugs or look cheap but does that really call for despising your kids?? Sounds like an immature dad..I don't care wat my kids were. Retarded, criminals, potheads ide still love them and try and help them through it..as far as his wife "not letting him make any decisions about his kids," he needs to grow a pair, put his foot down and say enough is enough
He obviously despised who his kids are, not his kids fully, otherwise he wouldn't of tried to change them.
Last time he done that he almost got thrown out of his "own" home.
his post is full of hatred so thats what we are commenting on, to hear a father say he hates his children...makes some people doubt the veracity of his story , i doubt the whole story and think he is the unloveable talking about the unloved
His post may be full of hatred, but that's because he has a reason to feel that way. How would you feel working a job for your family to be able to eat, having to work so your children stay healthy, then when you want to try make "your" children more respectable because you know they're on the wrong path, you basically get slapped in the face and get told "you aren't allowed to make decisions a parent would, even though you're the rather that is paying for us to live"? How would you like that?
Like I stated on another comment, there is a motrher that posted basically the same thing about hating her husband and kids, and look at the feedback.
i read the mothers post about her kids, what comes thru to me is the frustration of doing so much and not being respected, this is true for the above post also, but she doesnt sound as arrogant and hate filled about the kids just resentful, both are angry and frustrated but one has malice, if he hates it so much leave, not everything is about money and control
Oh sure. She basically saying she understands why someone would kill there children, but fuck! If this guy says he wants to punch his wife in the face, that's too far!...Seriously? Is that what you're trying to say to me?
What has this person done? Has he stopped working for the family? No. What did the mother do? She stopped doing anything in general.
So you're unintentionally implying that he hasn't gone through the frustration, even when "he" is the one that deserves the most respect in the family for working to keep them fed and heated.
This man does not sound arrogant at all. He expects to be able to make decisions as a father, then is frustrated when his wife, someone that is doing barely anything, where as he is working for a living, is denying him to make choices as a parent.
Just leave? Yeah, at the risk of losing his home, his paycheck, and doesn't have a chance to make his children more respectable. "He" has to give up everything because he is not allowed to make choices as the father, yet if he was to leave, he would be expected to take responsibility for them.
If anything, the mother in the links I shared is far worse. She left the whole family because she was expected to clean. This man is working, the provider of the family, and he is being disrespected.
Clearly you are trying to blame this man for any stupid reason you can come up with, where as try to make the woman that done a far worse thing saying "Atleast she's not as bad". You're obviously saying it's different only because he is a man, the father, and she's the mother, a woman.
Because he dislikes people who are so stupid that it actually causes brain damage when you read their comments. And i don't mean people with different, unconventional or oppositional views. I mean people like this "FocoUS" retard who don't put any thought at all into their comments, instead relying on a very insecure, immature and undeveloped train of thought.
His wife is a human being, not a monster with claws. Why is he so scared of her? If the roles were reversed, if the op was a mother who's parenting decisions were still overrun by the father I'd still be unimpressed with the situation.
"I hate the way my kids are! Wah wah! I don't know how to be a parent!" Take a goddamn parenting book and fix them. It's normal to be concerned for your children not hate them. Hell maybe he's taking frustration he gets from his wife (let's face it inevitable divorce) and aiming it toward his kids, which is also wrong.
And bleaching your hair and wearing hoodies is not a crime.
Ugh. Oh, poor mother. You just sat there demonizing the father, then when someone demonized the problem (the mother), it's all "Wah, she's a human being. Wah!". Are you fucking kidding me?
Why is he so scared of her? Because of the reaction he will get. If you read the comments and replies he makes, you'd understand, b ut I certainly doubt you'll feel sorry for him, he's the asshole and the mother is the rainbow sunshine carebear to you.
He is scared because of how the reaction would be legally. He is scared to want a divorce because his house and paycheck can be taken away, everything he ever worked towards. His wife threatened to throw him out when he stood up to her, even though it's "his" house. Legally, society will help the female here and leave this poor man by himself with no help, even when he was trying to help his children by makiing them more responsible, and even though he is the one working to keep his children fed and heated.
Bullshit you would. From what I have seen from you, I strongly dissagree you would.
Piss off. He hates the way his children are, and so he tries to make them more respectable. He can't. Why? Beause his wife won't let him be a parent, and won't let him try to teach them to be respectable. Yet, it's his fault. "wah, wah", right? Fucking baffoon.
"I don't know how to be a parent". He's trying to be. He "can't". His wife will not let him be by bypassing all the decisions he makes as a father. And since he works, his mother most likely lets the children off of his punishment, basically belittling him (if it was gender reversed you would be having a period) and yet "he" is the one that doesn't know how to be a father? It isn't that he doesn't know, it's that his wife isn't letting him be. Fuck. Do you have no deductive reasoning, or are you purposly just being a nimrodded baffoon?
Take a Goddamn parenting book and fix them? Did you even fucking read the description? Are people so fucking shocked when I be negative to people on here when I have to read this, then see that four idiots thumbed it up? This is going in capitals so you can understand.
"HE CANNOT FIX HIS CHILDREN TO BE MORE RESPECTABLE, BECAUSE EVERY DECISION HE MAKES GETS BYPASSED BY THE WIFE. HE WORKS, AND SO HE CAN'T KEEP AN EYE ON HIS CHILDREN 24/7, IN WHICH THE WIFE WILL JUST GIVE BACK WHAT WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM THEM BY THE FATHER TO MAKE THEM MORE RESPECTABLE".
How can you not understand this? I tell you why, because it is the father. You are blaming the father for not being able to make choices as a parent, even though it isn't that he's not trying, it's that his wife won't let him, but yeah, totally not the mother's fault, remember, she's a carebear, and the father is just an asshole, right?
I don't believe he hates his children. I believe he hates his children fro who they, and he is trying to help them, but he can't. I think he hates how his kids have turned out. His wife? I would hate her too, she is the root of the problem.
He is pissed off at his wife because she is allowing the children to further go on as problems. His children are a problem, and his mother is the cause and root of it. Without the mother, I have no doubt he would change them in to more respectable children that he would love completely.
Is that in regards to the image of his children? She is not "bleaching her hair" only, she is also dressing in a slutty way. Wearing hoodies? He also explained how he is acting like a thug. Again, did you even read the description?
This is what I have to deal with from most of you, and you are really fucking mindfucked over why I think of most of you in a negative manner?
Oh my god ItDuz. I have not once defended the mother. Calm down a bit. I didn't say that she or the kids were faultless but I doubt the op is an angel. And don't fucking put words in my mouth it makes you look paranoid.
He SAID he hated his children and I'm going to take his word for that not your assumption. He has not shown concern for his children. He HATES his children. Maybe you don't realize what a big deal that is because you throw the word "hate" around pretty often but that's pretty abnormal. "I want you to change because I love you" and "I want you to change because I hate you" mean two entirely different things and I don't understand why you think hate and love are interchangeable!
Oh, and if kids like the ones described told me that their dad hated them I would say that they had DADDY ISSUES. (They might have other issues too on top of that) And I would say that a dad who hates their kids is a BAD FATHER.
You have not defended her for her actions, but you have defended her on the scale of what she done compared to the man, implying she isn't as bad as the father, when infact she is.
Again, you try to blame the father in any matter. He has tried, but he can't carry out what he tries to put in motion for the better of his children.
That is like me saying "Yeah, well the rapist is bad, and in no way am I defending him, but I doubt the rape victim is an angel". Ofcourse, you'd go apeshit if someone said that on here.
Words in your mouth? What words? Again, explain, don't just state. If you explain what I have apparantly put in your mouth I can either explain why I came to that conclusion accuratly, or apologize.
Yes, he hates his children. "Why" does he hate his children? Do you need everything babystepped to you? Use your brain. Link things together in the description. He hates them because they are not respectful. He tries to make them respectful, in attempts to put them in the right back and love them as father to child, but can't. This isn't my assumption, it is deductive thinking.
He has not shown concern for his children? What? Did you even read this?
- Everytime I tell her no and try to put my foot down she goes to Mom and puts on a fake display of tears.
- but his Mom insists that I let him explore his identity as I sit there in the principal's office because he thinks he is too cool to show up to class sober.
Unless you are not reading things correctly, you have no excuse for missing those parts. He clearly wants them to change, and his wife is stopping him from doing anything to make them decent, respectable children.
He "hates" who his children are, and wants to make the more respectable so that he can love them.
What are you talking about? He hates who they are, so he wants them to change so he can love them. How is not able to go in to your head?
That rape comparison doesn't work and you know it. Don't go over dramatic.
Wait! You seriously don't know that there's a difference between wanting to someone to change because you love them versus because you hate them? And you even put in this "earn your folk's love" thing? And now that awkward moment when I feel bad for you.
Well at least you can argue with the fury of a thousand prepubescent Call of Duty gamers.
A thumb down, yet no counter points. This is why the thumbs options should be removed, too many people rely on it because they know that if they put their points up, they couldn't rely on the thumb option.
Is the subject the same in the axample? No. Is the situation the exact same? Yes. If it isn't, then explain to me how it doesn't work. You know it works, you just don't want it to, otherwise you would of explained how it doesn't work.
Ugh. Last time I'm going to say this. Why the hell can't other users understand things or explain why they think someone is wrong?
He hates who his hildren are, not his children completely. If he wants his children to change because he loves them, but hates who they are. Kind of like how you can dislike a family member, yet love them. If you need this explained to you furthermore, then I lack the patience to make you understand this.
You know what's actually funny, you try to insult me on my argung/debating style, yet you can't even understand or prove one single point I made wrong. So in otherwords, how does it feel to pretty much need babied by someone you describe as a prepubescent call of duty gamer?
So far all you have done is:
1st paragraph: "Nuh! That doesn't work! I can't explain why, but it just doesn't!"
2nd paragraph: Completely misunderstanding simple things that are being babied to you.
3rd paragraph: Basically insulted yourself in your attempts to insult me.
Is it normal that I DESPISE my kids?
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Are you kidding me? Fuck. You are unbarable. Nearly every comment you make.
He clearly stated that when he tries to make a decision that his wife bypasses his parental choices, meaning he has can't take any responsibility for his parenting because every choice he makes as a parent is being challenged and changed by his wife.
Maybe it never accured to you that maybe, just maybe, he can't do anything to change his children because his wife won't let him? Ofcourse not, the mother can't do any wrong, even when "she" is the one lifting the father's foot when he is putting it down to try change his children. He tries to change his children, yet his wife isn't allowing him to try make them seme more respectful, yet it is the father's fault? Are you serious? Pathetic.
"They have daddy issues" yet he can't do anthing about it because the wife won't let him, and that's his fault? Ugh. Piss off.
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thanksforthefreecar
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FocoUS
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Why are you always so hateful
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thinkingaboutit
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[Old Memory]
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Because irrational thinking irritates me, and it irritates me even more when it is irrationality that is repeated, then expects me to be nice.
This person tried to blame the husband for things he tried to fix but wasn't allowed to because his wife basically wouldn't let him, yet this stupic, irrational, less of a humanbeing insisted on blaming the husband.
I didn't used to be this hateful. I used to actually avoid bringing hate in to my comments, but this generation of IIN users are so impared to rational thinking and understanding that they can't understand simple things, their deductive reasoning is terrible, yet they insist on being right.
I have become sick and tired of the new community, the old onw was far more rational, far more helpful, and overall not as stupid as most here.
These people want to hear what they like to hear, not what the truth is, and this user's comment shows that.
The father doesn't want her daughter looking cheap and easy to get, and he doesn't want his son looking and acting like a thug, and his wife stops him from attempting to make them more respectable, and to this user's thought process he is a shitty dad for it.
I am nineteen, and I get so irritated, disgusted, and dissapointed that "these" people are my elders.
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disthing
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tentacleTherapist
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[Old Memory]
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Thank you for understanding.
It sounds bitter but it's true. Just a few days ago I saw on my daughters facebook that she bought a new outfit for a house party on the other side of town. I asked her about it and she said she would be going over to her friend's house and that it was a casual get together and his parents would be home.
I know this family and I work with his Mom and they're out for the weekend for a prosthetics convention. She lied to me. I told her that she wasn't going. She went crying to Mom and all of five minutes later she's in my face giving me hell about my not letting my daughter have a teenage girl life and how I'm being overbearing and how I partied as a kid and she started yelling and screaming and threatened to kick me out for yelling back at her.
She's pretty much taught the kids that I am an overbearing asshole and I want her gone but that would mean I'd have to kiss my house and paychecks goodbye. I'm a grown man that has worked hard for my money and to provide for my family and if I want to lose this mess I'd have to give up everything I worked for. I'm tempted to move to Mexico.
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Don't worry, you don't need to explain to me how something may sound bitter but can be true, I know that fill well, and it is a sad situation.
Wow, what? You really need to find some way of teaching your wife a lesson. Your children are a problem because your wife is the root problem, she is allowing them to get away with these things. Pretty sure I read that you were the one that was working for the family? I assume you bought or are renting the house you live in? Next time she threatens you to leave, tell her (if you are paying for the house) that it is your house, you pay for it, and if she dares says that she'll kick you out, it will happen to her. Also explain to her that if you are to get kicked out, she won't be getting any of your income, and that she can work for her children.
Yes, this woman definetly is a problem for you and your kids. You need to try do something about her, either on social means (talking to her) or in legal means (divorce and taking the kids). When you take the kids, she may have to work for child support, which will teach her how hard it was for you.
Why would you have to give up your house? Also, if you get the children, she would have to pay child support, which means you may get the same, just a little less, or more money back in which you have to pay her.
This is the society we live in, unfortunatly. Nobody cares about the hard working men, and fathers are almost always pushed out of the family setting now.
If you would be expected to pay all of this, and the children are taken away from you even though you have a job, etc, then I would actually suggest moving to Mexico. You would get away with not having to pay a woman that is, and excuse my French, a bitch, and she'd not get any child benefits from you, inb which she'd probably have to go to work herself.
I am sorry this is happening to you.
Here's something that's irrational.
You complain constantly about how this entire IIN community is irrational, overly emotional, illogical, stupid, placing yourself on some kind of pedestal as the pinnacle of logic, rationality and intelligence... Yet you stay here and continue to moan and whinge about it.
That seems irrational to me, like an abused spouse staying with their abuser :) Or even more relevantly like a father who utterly despises his kids and wife staying with his kids and wife.
Unless you gain some perverse gratification from being constantly irritated by us 'inferior beings'?
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tentacleTherapist
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You're right, that was completely irrational, glad you realized that yourself.
Not the whole IIN community, the majority. There are many old time users still around that don't even bother commenting anymore because of how the community has turned. Do I think I am the pinnacle or rational thinking? No. Do I think I am more rational than people on here? Definetly. Do I think I am the most rational person here? No.
So, you're saying that if someone "moans" about something that they forfit all of their intelligence and reasoning? So if you moan, you instantly become "illogicla", "irrational", etc? This is the irrationality I'm talking about.
The only thing that I can not blame you for putting in that list is the emotional part. Am I sharing an emotion here? Yes. Am I lketting it ovecome my reasoning? No.
Well you obviously don't know what irrational and rational thinking are.
The situations are not the same, those examples were far off, especially the second one.
I am not being abused here, I am being fed up here. I am staying because I was here first, I respect some users on here, and I have become acustomed to this site. I use this more than Facebook. I know that one day this generation will move away from the site, and that's wha I'm waiting for.
The second one is just insulting. The problem here is that he can't get away from them without having to suffer by paying money, all because he wasn't allowed to be a parent due to his wife basically not letting him, only using him as a money bringer. What this man is going through is different to what I'm doing.
Like I said, I'm waiting for this generation to pass by. Do I think I'm more rational than most users here? Definetly. Do I think I am the most rational on this site? Obviously not.
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disthing
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No I didn't say you abandon all intelligence and reasoning when you 'moan' about something. I don't know what lines you were reading between, but that seems like quite a strange conclusion to jump to - quite an irrational one in fact.
My point was that for someone who prides themselves on being more rational than the majority of the community, it seems to be distinctly irrational to continue participation in a community you seem to dislike so much.
However, if you're simply waiting for the community to magically return back to what you think was the golden-age of IIN, then OK, that's a valid and rational reason, although you may be waiting a long time.
I don't see why that second analogy was insulting to you, or why it would be insulting to anybody else frankly. That seems like an overly emotional response to my very simple perspective; I don't think the central problem in this case is the OP not being able to parent how he deems appropriate, nor that he can't get away without paying money. I see the central problem as being his continuing in a family unit he despises. Why put yourself through the endless stress and anger just so you can remain with a wife you hate and your children whom you also hate? I think that's irrational - it's irrational because rationally a person aspires towards a life without trouble and suffering since it tends to go hand in hand with a long existence and happiness. He's staying in a situation which clearly makes the possibility of his finding happiness minute, which is like someone shooting you in the foot and then you complaining about it for hours and hours instead of going to a doctor.
(FYI: "Well you obviously don't know what irrational and rational thinking are." I do. Rationality is sensible and logical reasoning, it's very simple isn't it? Although you may want to consider that first part - 'sensible'. That's where the subjectivity lies - where one person's sensible can be another's insensible, where one person's rational can be another's irrational. There is no absolute)
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iEatZombies_
11 years ago
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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He doesn't dislike the community, he dislikes what it's turning into.
Frankly, I can't say I blame him.
This site was designed as a safe place to share how you 'really' feel, but is abused by many users as a safe place to create even more lies about the self-image.
His comments -hell, my comments- got a hell of a lot more popular when they became less opionated and structured, and more 'funny' and whimsical. It happened to a bunch of users, really.
Yet you haven't explained why it's irrational. Am I supposed to just take your word for it? If you offer a point and I counter that point, will you accept that or will you just say something that implies you aren't going to continue mainly because you can't? Explain why the conclusion I have made is irrational.
I am waiting for the next IIN generation. Do I think it will be better than before? Most likely not, but anything is better than this generation, and even if it is a little better than this one, I would have made the right choice to stick around.
What anology? The part in which you compared me to two different situations? That was not emotion saying you were wrong, that was rationality. I explained why they are not comparable to my situation.
You do realize how a divorce can financially cripple men, right? If he does this he may never have the chance to lead another life to the extent he did before the divorce and departcher from the family. You seem to think that they can just poof out of a disrespectful family. If he was to do that, he would suffer, and the family will be seen as the victims.
This man has thought about them, and he has said the risk he runs is losing his home and his paycheck. So it's not that easy. If you think it's irrational to not leave a family because you run the risk of being bled dry with no chance of starting a new family, then that's very irrational of you.
Yes, and if he divorced and left, he would have more problems and troubles.
It's not at all like that example. It's more like being shot in the foot, going to the doctors, being denied treatment, then moaning for hours.
There is an absolute. If ones rationality is able to prove the others rationality wrong, the rationality that was proven right is the correct one.
That's hot.
Potato.
Ok understandable that he doesn't want his kids to look like thugs or look cheap but does that really call for despising your kids?? Sounds like an immature dad..I don't care wat my kids were. Retarded, criminals, potheads ide still love them and try and help them through it..as far as his wife "not letting him make any decisions about his kids," he needs to grow a pair, put his foot down and say enough is enough
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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He obviously despised who his kids are, not his kids fully, otherwise he wouldn't of tried to change them.
Last time he done that he almost got thrown out of his "own" home.
his post is full of hatred so thats what we are commenting on, to hear a father say he hates his children...makes some people doubt the veracity of his story , i doubt the whole story and think he is the unloveable talking about the unloved
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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His post may be full of hatred, but that's because he has a reason to feel that way. How would you feel working a job for your family to be able to eat, having to work so your children stay healthy, then when you want to try make "your" children more respectable because you know they're on the wrong path, you basically get slapped in the face and get told "you aren't allowed to make decisions a parent would, even though you're the rather that is paying for us to live"? How would you like that?
Like I stated on another comment, there is a motrher that posted basically the same thing about hating her husband and kids, and look at the feedback.
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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i read the mothers post about her kids, what comes thru to me is the frustration of doing so much and not being respected, this is true for the above post also, but she doesnt sound as arrogant and hate filled about the kids just resentful, both are angry and frustrated but one has malice, if he hates it so much leave, not everything is about money and control
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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Oh sure. She basically saying she understands why someone would kill there children, but fuck! If this guy says he wants to punch his wife in the face, that's too far!...Seriously? Is that what you're trying to say to me?
What has this person done? Has he stopped working for the family? No. What did the mother do? She stopped doing anything in general.
So you're unintentionally implying that he hasn't gone through the frustration, even when "he" is the one that deserves the most respect in the family for working to keep them fed and heated.
This man does not sound arrogant at all. He expects to be able to make decisions as a father, then is frustrated when his wife, someone that is doing barely anything, where as he is working for a living, is denying him to make choices as a parent.
Just leave? Yeah, at the risk of losing his home, his paycheck, and doesn't have a chance to make his children more respectable. "He" has to give up everything because he is not allowed to make choices as the father, yet if he was to leave, he would be expected to take responsibility for them.
If anything, the mother in the links I shared is far worse. She left the whole family because she was expected to clean. This man is working, the provider of the family, and he is being disrespected.
Clearly you are trying to blame this man for any stupid reason you can come up with, where as try to make the woman that done a far worse thing saying "Atleast she's not as bad". You're obviously saying it's different only because he is a man, the father, and she's the mother, a woman.
because he was not blessed with a good mummy
boohoo
Because he dislikes people who are so stupid that it actually causes brain damage when you read their comments. And i don't mean people with different, unconventional or oppositional views. I mean people like this "FocoUS" retard who don't put any thought at all into their comments, instead relying on a very insecure, immature and undeveloped train of thought.
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tentacleTherapist
11 years ago
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I AM SAM
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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SON OF SAM.
His wife is a human being, not a monster with claws. Why is he so scared of her? If the roles were reversed, if the op was a mother who's parenting decisions were still overrun by the father I'd still be unimpressed with the situation.
"I hate the way my kids are! Wah wah! I don't know how to be a parent!" Take a goddamn parenting book and fix them. It's normal to be concerned for your children not hate them. Hell maybe he's taking frustration he gets from his wife (let's face it inevitable divorce) and aiming it toward his kids, which is also wrong.
And bleaching your hair and wearing hoodies is not a crime.
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11 years ago
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tentacleTherapist
11 years ago
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Ugh. Oh, poor mother. You just sat there demonizing the father, then when someone demonized the problem (the mother), it's all "Wah, she's a human being. Wah!". Are you fucking kidding me?
Why is he so scared of her? Because of the reaction he will get. If you read the comments and replies he makes, you'd understand, b ut I certainly doubt you'll feel sorry for him, he's the asshole and the mother is the rainbow sunshine carebear to you.
He is scared because of how the reaction would be legally. He is scared to want a divorce because his house and paycheck can be taken away, everything he ever worked towards. His wife threatened to throw him out when he stood up to her, even though it's "his" house. Legally, society will help the female here and leave this poor man by himself with no help, even when he was trying to help his children by makiing them more responsible, and even though he is the one working to keep his children fed and heated.
Bullshit you would. From what I have seen from you, I strongly dissagree you would.
Piss off. He hates the way his children are, and so he tries to make them more respectable. He can't. Why? Beause his wife won't let him be a parent, and won't let him try to teach them to be respectable. Yet, it's his fault. "wah, wah", right? Fucking baffoon.
"I don't know how to be a parent". He's trying to be. He "can't". His wife will not let him be by bypassing all the decisions he makes as a father. And since he works, his mother most likely lets the children off of his punishment, basically belittling him (if it was gender reversed you would be having a period) and yet "he" is the one that doesn't know how to be a father? It isn't that he doesn't know, it's that his wife isn't letting him be. Fuck. Do you have no deductive reasoning, or are you purposly just being a nimrodded baffoon?
Take a Goddamn parenting book and fix them? Did you even fucking read the description? Are people so fucking shocked when I be negative to people on here when I have to read this, then see that four idiots thumbed it up? This is going in capitals so you can understand.
"HE CANNOT FIX HIS CHILDREN TO BE MORE RESPECTABLE, BECAUSE EVERY DECISION HE MAKES GETS BYPASSED BY THE WIFE. HE WORKS, AND SO HE CAN'T KEEP AN EYE ON HIS CHILDREN 24/7, IN WHICH THE WIFE WILL JUST GIVE BACK WHAT WAS TAKEN AWAY FROM THEM BY THE FATHER TO MAKE THEM MORE RESPECTABLE".
How can you not understand this? I tell you why, because it is the father. You are blaming the father for not being able to make choices as a parent, even though it isn't that he's not trying, it's that his wife won't let him, but yeah, totally not the mother's fault, remember, she's a carebear, and the father is just an asshole, right?
I don't believe he hates his children. I believe he hates his children fro who they, and he is trying to help them, but he can't. I think he hates how his kids have turned out. His wife? I would hate her too, she is the root of the problem.
He is pissed off at his wife because she is allowing the children to further go on as problems. His children are a problem, and his mother is the cause and root of it. Without the mother, I have no doubt he would change them in to more respectable children that he would love completely.
Is that in regards to the image of his children? She is not "bleaching her hair" only, she is also dressing in a slutty way. Wearing hoodies? He also explained how he is acting like a thug. Again, did you even read the description?
This is what I have to deal with from most of you, and you are really fucking mindfucked over why I think of most of you in a negative manner?
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FocoUS
11 years ago
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Oh my god ItDuz. I have not once defended the mother. Calm down a bit. I didn't say that she or the kids were faultless but I doubt the op is an angel. And don't fucking put words in my mouth it makes you look paranoid.
He SAID he hated his children and I'm going to take his word for that not your assumption. He has not shown concern for his children. He HATES his children. Maybe you don't realize what a big deal that is because you throw the word "hate" around pretty often but that's pretty abnormal. "I want you to change because I love you" and "I want you to change because I hate you" mean two entirely different things and I don't understand why you think hate and love are interchangeable!
Oh, and if kids like the ones described told me that their dad hated them I would say that they had DADDY ISSUES. (They might have other issues too on top of that) And I would say that a dad who hates their kids is a BAD FATHER.
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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You have not defended her for her actions, but you have defended her on the scale of what she done compared to the man, implying she isn't as bad as the father, when infact she is.
Again, you try to blame the father in any matter. He has tried, but he can't carry out what he tries to put in motion for the better of his children.
That is like me saying "Yeah, well the rapist is bad, and in no way am I defending him, but I doubt the rape victim is an angel". Ofcourse, you'd go apeshit if someone said that on here.
Words in your mouth? What words? Again, explain, don't just state. If you explain what I have apparantly put in your mouth I can either explain why I came to that conclusion accuratly, or apologize.
Yes, he hates his children. "Why" does he hate his children? Do you need everything babystepped to you? Use your brain. Link things together in the description. He hates them because they are not respectful. He tries to make them respectful, in attempts to put them in the right back and love them as father to child, but can't. This isn't my assumption, it is deductive thinking.
He has not shown concern for his children? What? Did you even read this?
- Everytime I tell her no and try to put my foot down she goes to Mom and puts on a fake display of tears.
- but his Mom insists that I let him explore his identity as I sit there in the principal's office because he thinks he is too cool to show up to class sober.
Unless you are not reading things correctly, you have no excuse for missing those parts. He clearly wants them to change, and his wife is stopping him from doing anything to make them decent, respectable children.
He "hates" who his children are, and wants to make the more respectable so that he can love them.
What are you talking about? He hates who they are, so he wants them to change so he can love them. How is not able to go in to your head?
Ugh. Again. You're just so unbarable.
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FocoUS
11 years ago
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That rape comparison doesn't work and you know it. Don't go over dramatic.
Wait! You seriously don't know that there's a difference between wanting to someone to change because you love them versus because you hate them? And you even put in this "earn your folk's love" thing? And now that awkward moment when I feel bad for you.
Well at least you can argue with the fury of a thousand prepubescent Call of Duty gamers.
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[Old Memory]
11 years ago
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11 years ago
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A thumb down, yet no counter points. This is why the thumbs options should be removed, too many people rely on it because they know that if they put their points up, they couldn't rely on the thumb option.
Is the subject the same in the axample? No. Is the situation the exact same? Yes. If it isn't, then explain to me how it doesn't work. You know it works, you just don't want it to, otherwise you would of explained how it doesn't work.
Ugh. Last time I'm going to say this. Why the hell can't other users understand things or explain why they think someone is wrong?
He hates who his hildren are, not his children completely. If he wants his children to change because he loves them, but hates who they are. Kind of like how you can dislike a family member, yet love them. If you need this explained to you furthermore, then I lack the patience to make you understand this.
You know what's actually funny, you try to insult me on my argung/debating style, yet you can't even understand or prove one single point I made wrong. So in otherwords, how does it feel to pretty much need babied by someone you describe as a prepubescent call of duty gamer?
So far all you have done is:
1st paragraph: "Nuh! That doesn't work! I can't explain why, but it just doesn't!"
2nd paragraph: Completely misunderstanding simple things that are being babied to you.
3rd paragraph: Basically insulted yourself in your attempts to insult me.
Good going, FocoUS, you go girl!
Octomo- oshit