Is it normal that i crave physical and emotional pain?

I think about bad things happening to myself and I like it. Like...I want it to happen now or in the future. Things like rape, being kidnapped, torture, having my boyfriend/husband cheat on me, abuse me, have a miscarriage-stuff like that. I haven't had a screwed up childhood or anything. I also imagine being dominated sexually and it's like I crave this pain but not just the physical pain, I also want the emotional pain that comes with it...can anyone relate and can anyone help?