Is it normal that i continue to hurt him
Okay so there is this guy I have been dating off and on for a while. I know that i love him, just from the way I look at him, hurt when he leaves and the way I want him when he's gone. I continue to hurt him by cheating. Not always in a sexual manner, because most of the time it's emotional gain i'm looking for. I like to meet new guys and learn more about their personalities but i could careless about them sexually. I know that i am not a materialistic chick but i often get tired of not having with him.. he never has money to go to the movies, get ice cream or even bus fare.. yea i said bus fare because he does't drive. I also dislike the fact that we are the same age. I found that i like guys at least 3years older than me(21). They have to have a car, and a job. Only because if we do decide to go some where wether i pay or not we have transportation and he has ends as they say. I love the challenge that older men give. It's the i already have been there done that attitude that they give.. and i like to show them otherwise.. or that just because i'm younger I can be equally if not more mature! My concern is when i try to leave my "main" as my bestfriend calls him, I can't. I feel empty and lonely in the world. Like i'm lost as to what my next step is; but when he finds out about a guy that I have been talking to he is beyond hurt and often devastated. He always tells me he is going to leave me because he knows that he can find someone to love him. i need advice because I love him and I think he's my hubby in the future.. I just need him to be more dependable!!