Is it normal that i continue to hurt him

Okay so there is this guy I have been dating off and on for a while. I know that i love him, just from the way I look at him, hurt when he leaves and the way I want him when he's gone. I continue to hurt him by cheating. Not always in a sexual manner, because most of the time it's emotional gain i'm looking for. I like to meet new guys and learn more about their personalities but i could careless about them sexually. I know that i am not a materialistic chick but i often get tired of not having with him.. he never has money to go to the movies, get ice cream or even bus fare.. yea i said bus fare because he does't drive. I also dislike the fact that we are the same age. I found that i like guys at least 3years older than me(21). They have to have a car, and a job. Only because if we do decide to go some where wether i pay or not we have transportation and he has ends as they say. I love the challenge that older men give. It's the i already have been there done that attitude that they give.. and i like to show them otherwise.. or that just because i'm younger I can be equally if not more mature! My concern is when i try to leave my "main" as my bestfriend calls him, I can't. I feel empty and lonely in the world. Like i'm lost as to what my next step is; but when he finds out about a guy that I have been talking to he is beyond hurt and often devastated. He always tells me he is going to leave me because he knows that he can find someone to love him. i need advice because I love him and I think he's my hubby in the future.. I just need him to be more dependable!!

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 9 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Get a job. Get a car. Pay for your own meals. Then come back and tell us what he doesn't have that YOU do, not the other guys.

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    • okay soo your another one!! Any way a few corrections!! I have my own car, a job, my own apartment(no roommate)and I start school in the fall!! I need no one to do for me..it's just nice to have someone on your level!! so i guess im coming back to tell you that he has NO CAR, NO JOB, LIVES WITH HIS MOM, AND I BUY THE MEALS...now what smart ass!! lmao

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  • If you're not loyal you don't love him period. Try and get him to get a job that pays decent money or any in general to buy a Fking Ice cream cone. I understand wanting a dependable person as a mate but how would you feel if he cheated on you because you were too stupid or ugly without makeup? If you loved him you would tell him you've been whoring out behind his back but in actuality you're making lame excuses for cheating on him to make yourself feel better about skanking around instead of telling him to get of his ass and get a job.

    Find someone equally materialistic as you and you'll have a new future hubby instead of stringing sloucho along for an emotional roller coaster.

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  • The obvious reply is that there is something wrong with your relationship.

    You are obviously not getting what you need from this, otherwise you would not be seeking it elsewhere, that is not going to change.

    He clearly has a very different outlook on life to you and it would appear that all there is, is some kind of love between you, you both have history which reinforces the idea that this is one messy relationship.

    Time for a reality check, how would he feel if he knew you were secretly talking to other guys? You obviously need something he's not providing, move on and leave the poor guy to find someone more suitable.

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  • Seems to me the answer is pretty simple, he needs to get a job and car, then things will be ok. But I don't think you'll stop cheating. You're having too much fun and you won't give that up. Just make it an open relationship, date each other and see whoever you want.

    Personally that's what I'd like as well-have a 'main' gf and date others. However I have difficulty accepting that my gf would be with other guys-I'd feel no other guy deserves her except me (thinking of an ex-gf).

    So for that reason I wouldn't cheat on her-because I wouldn't want her to be with other guys. It's only when you don't value someone that much that open relationships are more acceptable.

    In your case, if it hurts him, don't do it or else just leave him. Especially since he's already in a bad situation, not having a job. It's like kicking someone when they're down. I don't understand how people can be cruel to others when they have power over them.

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  • ^perfectly put

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  • Can you put yourself at his place right now and imagine how low he can feel?

    The girl he loves just keep on cheating on him because he is not good enough.

    Can you imagine how hard this is, to know you'll never be LOVED for who you are but only for what you HAVE ?

    He doesn't make you feel like shit, he doesn't make you feel inferior to him, he doesn't go around and flirt with the first hot chicks he sees....

    You know, I'm in ''his'' position right now in a relationship and you don't know how it hurts. I'm starting to slip into depression... It makes you feel like a worthless piece of shit always about to get dumped... It's not the way you are supposed to feel and he KNOWS it. That's why he says he could find someone that loves him and that make him feel good instead of destroying is self-esteem.

    Let him go or change your ways. You can't make someone feel like this and pretend to love him.

    I'm sorry to tell you this but you are too selfish , YOU make him hurt but you want to keep him around because you.... ''love '' him.. like a pet, not like a person

    If you loved him you would make him feel special. Not make him feel like a f*cktard.

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  • okay, thank you in some ways! I can't expect for you to understand the situation if your not in it so I won't. I do need to clear up somethings though... he cheated on me a number of times; not trying to excuse my wrong doing! but I wasn't just " whoring around" as you so unnecessarily put it! Maybe if you would have taken a moment to read carefully and leave your judgement and useless advice you could have gotten the part where i said I cheat emotionally!!! Not physically.. so that means thats not whoring around right! yeah i thought so!! Any who I'm for sure going to comment on the ugly with no makeup part!! I look stunning while sleeping honey!! They don't make a model out of anyone you know! Yeah thats my occupation!! To be totally honest i don't give a care in this world about your negative none helpful advice!! Anyone else feel free to drop some useful advice..other than that toodles!! (laughing hard)

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  • sadly yes this is normal congratulations your one of a million sadistic bitches that just love fucking with men's heads hope he dumps your ass goodnight

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