Is it normal that i cite religion for being a virgin?

I’m 25 and never been in a relationship so I know it would probably be embarrassing to normally mention that on a date. So I plan to not discuss it unless somehow she brings the previous relationships question up.

Now, I’ve been a Christian for the past 2 years, but most of my life I was trying (and failing) to find a girlfriend. I know it sounds a lot better to say that I’m a Virgin because I’m waiting for the right person. What do y’all think?

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68% Normal
Based on 22 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 43 )
  • RoseIsabella

    It's your body, and you can cite religion as a reason for remaining a virgin, but you really don't have to cite any reason at all, because I think your virginity is no one's business, but your own. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Anyone who thinks less of you, because you're a virgin needs to mind their own damn business.

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    • PleaseTalkToMe

      I have also felt similar as I am 25f v

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    • d0esnormalmatter

      What if hes using religion as an excuse not to pursue the relationships and or sex that he knows he wants? I would call that a problem.

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      • RoseIsabella

        I don't think it's a problem. Either way it's not a problem unless OP thinks it is.

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          No??? Tell that to the priests that molest kids! Outside influences that encourage celibacy are not good. Males in particular who get coerced into avoiding women to stay "pure" can end up doing and thinking some pretty fucked up shit. Just ask 16 year old me.

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          • RoseIsabella

            Whatever. Don't project your issues onto me, OP, or anyone else. You have freewill, and can choose a live your life however you so choose, but the same holds true for me, OP, and anyone else who reads this post.

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            • d0esnormalmatter

              I'm not talking about you I'm talking about OP. Males who feel pressured to be celibate do very bad things.

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      • Grunewald

        Why should he even need an excuse - either not to pursue relationships or to not give in to his body's cravings?

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        • d0esnormalmatter

          I don't know. Hes the one who made the post. Ask him not me.

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  • Tealights

    You don't need an excuse for being a virgin, because good women wont care as long as you're a wonderful person. Just don't be obsessive/desperate.

    At 25, you're considered an adult. So just be chill and be yourself, talk to her as a person. Genuinely get to know her, and what she's about. If you manage to find a nice girl who isn't a bitch or whatnot, just:

    1. Don't play dumb to flatter her. I see so many guys do this and it's annoying as hell. The weird thing is, it's not limited to her opinions or anything with substance, it's on common sense shit like for example: "Wow, you put ketchup on your hotdogs!? I just been using mustard this whole time! I should try that!" No. You're American. We all know you had ketchup before, stop your bullshit. It's a huge turn off when guys play dumb like that and it makes us go from getting to know you to tolerating you until the date is over.

    2. Don't talk about sex. If you're aiming to get a girlfriend, a partner in life, you got to keep the conversation on shit you two have in common and getting to know each other topics. Sex talk right away makes you sound obsessive, like you watch porn for 6 hours straight everyday, and desperate; which scares good women away. The bad thing is, it can attract sluts who will gladly have sex with you as long as you pay for this and that.

    3. Don't be a yes-man and stand your ground. Often times I see guys just agree with everything their woman says or does in hopes to get sex/companionship, even if she's wrong or immoral. If she's expressing opinions that you have constructive criticism on, don't be afraid to converse with her on your opposing views and have a polite discussion with her. Remember, she's a person, not a dick-warmer you have to please. If she's a good woman, she'll respect your views and try to understand; if she's a bitch, she'll get upset and storm off or hold a grudge against you until you agree with her (which is something you don't need in your life).

    4. Ask questions. One major thing men do that good women hate is they assume and never ask questions. Don't assume you know this girl because she show similarities to women you've met before; that shows you're too lazy to get to know her personally or she reminds you of a girl in the past. Every time I meet a guy like this, I just shut down mentally and reduce my responses to "yup," "oh really," "Umhmm," because what's the point I'm not Tealights anymore, I'm Jessica from 8th grade who told him he's weird or some shit just because I liked the same color as her.

    Basically, just be a decent human being. If it helps, talk to her in the same relax manner you would talk to if you were making a new male friend.

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    • PleaseTalkToMe

      I need tips to find a gf??? I'm 25f

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  • PleaseTalkToMe

    You are the FEMALE VERSION OF ME LITERALLY!! Stole almost every word except for the Christian part, Thank FUCK

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  • LloydAsher

    People can choose to be a virgin if they want to be. If it's because religion then power to you.

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  • Hansberger

    I myself will remain a Buddhist, but I'm sticking to my ex-vegan diet of quinoa, brown rice, wholemeal pasta, starchy carbs, lean protein, smoked salmon on toast, scrambled eggs or lean ham on toast, high fiber whole grains, a lean beef, chicken, or pork (namely lean bacon) sandwich with plenty of salad, dinner with beans or meat or fish served with an array of colourful vegetables or a salad, etc, see my next post on that "ridiculous diet" and see. And I'm not willing to get laid, I've done it before, it's too much trouble and bother, I just want to be the average man living with a housemate, sharing a flat, wearing normal clothes (and Buddhist clothes!), doing my clothes shopping at H&M, going through life doing normal things. And yes it's normal not to get laid, some men are still men and they live alone or with another man (not gay), and they haven't had sex in years. :D

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  • leggs91200

    Well OP there is good news -
    Most people do not really want to hear about their lover's previous relationships or sex life.

    That is unless you are planning on doing abnormal sexual things.

    So, when you do start dating someone, they are probably not going to ask about your sex history. If it were to come up, just say, "Well, I would rather focus on you and me instead".

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  • ellnell

    I wouldn't find it weird for a person to be a virgin at 25.
    I've met men at that age who's never had a relationship (wether they were virgins or not I did not ask) but there can be several reasons.
    I waited until my 20s even though i'd been on many dates and dated some men for a lengthy time in the past. It was simply because I wanted to. I was not in a rush.
    Virginity seems to be more of a stigma when it comes to men though.
    If you can't get laid that means women reject I guess, like they don't want to go on dates with you or you never make it past date 1.
    Instead of making excuses i'd do some introspection and see why I get rejected all the time if I were you.
    It's not very hard to "get laid" even below average people get laid all the time because they have a certain charm to make up for it.
    And stop being desperate if you are.
    Women can smell desperation on a man, trust me.

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  • litelander8

    Sounds like you couldn't get laid so you're making an excuse. I know many people whom are Christian by birth and sexually active. And many who just stumbled on Christ recently but are still knocking boots.

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    • CureforAspergers

      They’re not really C͏hri͏sti͏an then. Idk what state you live in, but in the Deep South, Christians tend to be more conservative and evangelical. They mean when they say they’re “saving themselves for marriage”.

      Btw, I have Asperger’s and that’s a reason (I don’t believe in excuses) why dating has been so hard for me. But you probably hate autistic people as well and that’s your problem.

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      • litelander8

        I hate people who put their assumptions on me.

        So bc people are sexually active means they don't believe that Jesus Christ is their savior? Very Christian of you.

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        • RandomNumbers

          Yeah, it almost means exactly that. Faith in Jesus is not an easy thing. There are a lot of commandments that we are supposed to follow. the True christian do their best to do that, and one of the most important one in "sex only after marriage" That is how it works in christianity.
          deviation from that is sin. Try to deny this is sacrilegious, blasphemous and heretic

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          • litelander8

            Not thou shall not kill? Not thou shall not praise another God before me? Sex. Sex is the most important? That's ridiculous and only an opinion.

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            • RandomNumbers

              I said ONE of the most important ones. And yeah, sex is seen as something sacred between a husband and his wife only.
              And it is not my opinion, it's on the bible.

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  • d0esnormalmatter

    I think its pathetic that you became a Christian and now your finding out why. On another note, how the hell did you not get a girlfriend through all your teens and early twenties when you said you 'tried'? Must not have tried very hard.

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    • CureforAspergers

      What do you mean “tried very hard”? Is that desperately chasing after every girl I see? No thanks, I’ve known that’s not an attractive strategy.

      Like I said before, I have Asperger’s syndrome, so social interactions are a natural difficulty for me. If the idea that I was born autistic is “pathetic” to you, that says you’re a heartless individual.

      I’m sure that if I commit myself to patience and the fruit of the spirit, then I might find a nice girl in church. Besides, I’ve matured to understand that my future wife should have either similar interests OR political/religious background. A Republican and Democrat don’t get along well in a relationship. Same with faith.

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      • d0esnormalmatter

        How was I supposed to know you had aspergers? I don't know enough about the condition to help you much then. Just put extremely important information that totally changes the post in the post next time.

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  • RandomNumbers

    as a religious person myself i think its ok. As far as i can see, there is only 2 reasons for someone to remain virgin for a long time in their lives:
    1. religion
    2. They cant get women

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    • PleaseTalkToMe

      I tried to find a women!! All lesbian clubs, lesbian meet ups. Dating sites and apps yet I am attractive for a chick and still cant find one hot date so wtf is happening??

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