Is it normal that i can't stand my stepdaughter

I am very sorry for your situation and I feel very sorry for your husband. Obviously he is a afraid to piss his daughter off and lose custody of her. Any good father would be that way. It sounds as if (and this is MY pure speculation at work here) that her Mom may be influencing her behavior in a bad way in which case they may still have problems to reconcile

Either way, kids are VERY receptive creatures. They read non-verbal cues very well and it is in their nature to tow the line and try to take every inch they can to a mile. That is their way of testing their limits and learning by trial and error which behavior is and isn't appropriate and your husband is not doing her any favors by putting her in this position of authority.

I think all of four of you need to go into family therapy. And please don't dismiss the effects that divorce can have on a child, because children learn and remember as early as age 2 and age should not be a factor in whether or not you feel that a child's stress over a divorce is valid.

Good luck.

You need to bitchslap your husband. I will gladly do it for you if you wish

7 years old? I'd get as far away as possible before it turns into a teenager.

I agree with everyone else, maybe family counseling will help. She is still a child, but she needs to learn respect, plus she's too old to still be throwing temper fits. Good luck to you all.

Kill her.

Keep trying running wont change anything. Giving up is never good. If you run away she'll only become worse and then you'll have to deal with it later. Its best if you try and repair the damages now. Its ok everything will be fine and you can get through this! Stay calm and carry on.

Counseling, quick, before it gets only worse!

family counseling?

"She is very immature, manipulative, and has no independence skills at all."

She's seven you retard!

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. This is so hard to go through my step daughter is 4 right now & she has been giving me a hard time too. She doesn't listen to me, she cries for everything & is a compulsive liar. Me and her use to be close and Idk what happened she change out of the blue. She acts like a baby and talks like one too & it's annoys me because she has more potential than to act that way. And my biological daughter is 5 & I feel like my husbAnd is also hard on her but let's his 4 yr old get away with everything.

Like everyone said, mainly NeuroNeptunian, get counseling.
Kids apparantly all have a lot of narcissistic traits, most people grow out of them by being diciplined, but if she isn't being diciplined, she might not get out of that stage and continue beinbg that way through her life.

The father most likely has it much worse, and I have a feeling that he is being overly nice to her because he doesn't want her taken away from him, which would most likely happened if he tried to dicipline her, people would take it as being a bad parent.

Bitch slap the husband, the ex wife, and the daughter with shovels, Just to make you feel better.

Now to reality, either family counseling or strict discipline needs to be discussed with your husband, and enacted. I'm personally one for discipline because that's how I was raised. We both know she is old enough to understand consequences, so talk to your husband about enacting strict rules, where she faces set consequences. And if you choose that route you HAVE to stick with it or she will know she can walk all over you.

If you are less into discipline, a family and child counselor turned out to be extremely helpful in the case of one of my best friends daughter. The only thing I worry about is medicating a healthy child to escape discipline.

Family Therapist. Get one ASAP or it will only get worse!

Good Luck!

You answered some of your own question.

"My husband is a wonderful man but he is so scared if he disciplines or yells at her she won't come to our house. He is too concerned about being her best friend."

So that leaves you to be the disciplinarian, which also makes you the bad guy. And most kids regardless of age, do not like "bad guys."

If your husband is not listening to you, or even receptive to what you have to say about his daughter, he isn't being a very good husband. On top of that if he isn't taking the initiative to set a line or limit on her she is going to continue to stretch the line.

Every half year starting at 6, children become more aware of interactions of other people and environment. Basically they become more manipulative. At 7, she posses intelligence enough to know what she's doing. At 8, she'll have more devious intentions. You see the trend here now, so really find some external help for all of you before the kids become teenagers.

And my honest opinion is she is jealous that you spend time with her dad. Probably fueled by his ex-wife some, the girl sees you as a threat to everything she has with him. It would take him explaining to her about you, multiple time, for her to start to accept you. But since he doesn't seem willing to do that...go see a counselor.

whatever happend love pink and black? im dealing with some similiar issues

I think you will never truley love the child because it is not of your own blood. Your just being a piece of shit step parent as most of you are.

The child is already in counseling because she told her mother she hears voices that say means things. When dad asked her about it she said well it's not voices but I'm having really mean thoughts about people. My husband and I both think mom is putting thoughts in her head about me. In the past year the mom has gone on 8 vacations with her fiance none of which she took her daughter with the most recent trip being to Japan for almost a month. That last trip really through the child for an emotional trip. She cried everyday and swore mom wasn't coming back. The child clinged to me at that time after she returned my husband told his ex wife off and ever since pretty much calling her a selfish person the child has turned on me. Her immaturity and manipulative nature has always been there it's just getting worse. My son used to adore her but now he hides when she comes over and is airways asking to sleep at his friends houses when we have her. She has even turned on him they were playing one day and my son accidentally ran into her she went home and told her mother that my son was touching her butt on purpose. Mom freaked out of course and showed up at the house after my son was made to plead his innocence their daughter admitted she made it up and all that happened was my son ran into her. My husband and I both knew she was lying because we both saw them bump into each other. Now my son refuses to be alone with her because he is scared what she will lie about if he doesn't give into everything she wants. My husband is getting stronger but he still struggles she spent Easter with mom so we didn't get her anything from the bunny because mom did that when she came over she looked around the house for presents when she didn't find any she cried hysterical. My son asked her what is wrong she said "I'm a child of divorce I'm supposed to get two of everything two christmases two birthdays two eaters where are my Easter presents. Dad explained the bunny only comes to one house she said well then you should have bought me stuff, lets go to gramdmom's she will have gifts for me since you failed to be a parent" that word for word came out of a 7 year olds mouth. On her birthday she unwrapped all of her gifts she was told to clean up all the wrapping paper (dad wasn't home by the way when I told her this) she ignored me so my son picked it up. When dad got home he scolded her for not listening her response was "it's my birthday people should clean up after me" she knows exactly what she is doing. She has been in therapy for 6 months and hasn't told the therapist anything. She acts like a complete normal person at therapy. This kid knows what she is doing. She acts like she can't care for herself either. I mean things you would expect a child of her age to do. She spilled a few drops of water on her nightgown a few weeks ago she came into our room at 3AM screaming and crying she has water on her pajamas please help. We looked at her and said well change your nightgown she looked at her dad and said oh ok I didn't think of that. Then drug her dad out of bed to have him help her. Come on it can't be just me that I feel that a child that is almost 8 years old and is an honors student doesn't know how to take care of basic hygienic issues. I have told my husband recently that if he doesn't get her under control my son and I will have no choice but to leave the house on his weekends with her. I know it's not ideal but I'm running out of ideas. I really appreciate all the advice I'm getting so far. So many of you are supportive.