I was the same. I'll be brutally honest. It's because you need to get involved yourself. If you're having these thoughts of isolation anyway, you'll be by yourself and people will think it's strange and not approach. But if you talk a bit, voice your opinions. People will know you and THEN come talk to you. Thats how it works. You have to put the effort in to go up to people.
Some people have a harder time doing this than others. You may have aspergers which just means you can't quite connects with people very well. But HEY it is normal. Just put more effort in
Wow this isn't brutal honesty. This is blatant ignorance. 'Effort' and a life hindering condition, that means A HELL of a lot more then social ineptitude, is not the first thing you jump to when someone wants to know how to make friends. And as a side note, people with aspergers CAN'T make an effort to make friends.
OP what you are going through is completely normal. A lot of people have some trouble figuring out how to meet people at first. There is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you just aren't quite sure what to do to get the ball rolling. Back when I was in High school I found the cafeteria to be the BEST place to easily meet new people. It is the perfect social atmosphere. You can:
- Say something nice to someone while waiting in line.
- Offer some money to someone who's trying to get a lunch
- Or if you don't like saying the first word than sit at a table with a group of strangers. The group will always notice a newbie, introduce themselves, and make small talk.
You can also talk to the people you sit with in class. Ask about the homework. Make a joke about the teacher. Offer help if someone is confused. And just like that you start getting in the social mix. People will return the interest and a friendship will be born.
Whatever the case though, don't be afraid to talk about anything. It's high school. anything goes haha! Talk about whatever you want, smile, and make eye contact. I know all of this because I went through the same thing in High School. If I haven't made it pretty well known on this site already, I have been shy my whole life. friends and relationships never came easy to me. But as soon as you make that first awesome friend, the rest will fall into place. You will figure out how to just be yourself around everyone else and before you know it you will have your own little group you chill with everyday and make memories with.
If we put both your and "Audacia's" answers together, mess around with them a little, we might have a real answer that isn't totally derived of pure idiosyncrasy.
Being derived from idiosyncrasy makes it valid in this situation. No one is trying to give a "real" answer that suits this individuals situation perfectly. The goal here is to give advice to someone who wants it. And I just so happen to have a good amount of experience as a formerly sheltered person with many odd mannerisms that made it difficult to make friends. If my advice was devoid of the "idiosyncrasies" of my past then it wouldn't be advice. It would be someone who didn't know what they were talking about trying to help someone with an issue they have never faced.
Go ahead and combine the answers though and let's see a "real" solution.
Well yeah, that comment from the pervious person really freaked me out. Immediately after I had read it, I went and searched it up. But ultimately, I figured I have a social anxiety disorder. Most of the things they describe for me. I wish I could change, but that takes time and a whole lot of effort. Thank you for responding though. It made me feel like there was hope.
If we put both your and "ScooterNyne's" answers together, mess around with them a little, we might have a real answer that isn't totally derived of pure idiosyncrasy.
Is it normal that I can't seem to make friends?
← View full post
I was the same. I'll be brutally honest. It's because you need to get involved yourself. If you're having these thoughts of isolation anyway, you'll be by yourself and people will think it's strange and not approach. But if you talk a bit, voice your opinions. People will know you and THEN come talk to you. Thats how it works. You have to put the effort in to go up to people.
Some people have a harder time doing this than others. You may have aspergers which just means you can't quite connects with people very well. But HEY it is normal. Just put more effort in
--
ScooterNyne
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
1
1
-
[Old Memory]
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Wow this isn't brutal honesty. This is blatant ignorance. 'Effort' and a life hindering condition, that means A HELL of a lot more then social ineptitude, is not the first thing you jump to when someone wants to know how to make friends. And as a side note, people with aspergers CAN'T make an effort to make friends.
OP what you are going through is completely normal. A lot of people have some trouble figuring out how to meet people at first. There is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like you just aren't quite sure what to do to get the ball rolling. Back when I was in High school I found the cafeteria to be the BEST place to easily meet new people. It is the perfect social atmosphere. You can:
- Say something nice to someone while waiting in line.
- Offer some money to someone who's trying to get a lunch
- Or if you don't like saying the first word than sit at a table with a group of strangers. The group will always notice a newbie, introduce themselves, and make small talk.
You can also talk to the people you sit with in class. Ask about the homework. Make a joke about the teacher. Offer help if someone is confused. And just like that you start getting in the social mix. People will return the interest and a friendship will be born.
Whatever the case though, don't be afraid to talk about anything. It's high school. anything goes haha! Talk about whatever you want, smile, and make eye contact. I know all of this because I went through the same thing in High School. If I haven't made it pretty well known on this site already, I have been shy my whole life. friends and relationships never came easy to me. But as soon as you make that first awesome friend, the rest will fall into place. You will figure out how to just be yourself around everyone else and before you know it you will have your own little group you chill with everyday and make memories with.
--
[Old Memory]
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
-
hiiiiiiiiiii
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Also half true.
If we put both your and "Audacia's" answers together, mess around with them a little, we might have a real answer that isn't totally derived of pure idiosyncrasy.
--
ScooterNyne
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
1
1
Being derived from idiosyncrasy makes it valid in this situation. No one is trying to give a "real" answer that suits this individuals situation perfectly. The goal here is to give advice to someone who wants it. And I just so happen to have a good amount of experience as a formerly sheltered person with many odd mannerisms that made it difficult to make friends. If my advice was devoid of the "idiosyncrasies" of my past then it wouldn't be advice. It would be someone who didn't know what they were talking about trying to help someone with an issue they have never faced.
Go ahead and combine the answers though and let's see a "real" solution.
--
[Old Memory]
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Not helpful to others.
Well yeah, that comment from the pervious person really freaked me out. Immediately after I had read it, I went and searched it up. But ultimately, I figured I have a social anxiety disorder. Most of the things they describe for me. I wish I could change, but that takes time and a whole lot of effort. Thank you for responding though. It made me feel like there was hope.
--
ScooterNyne
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Don't worry my friend. There IS hope. Like you said though it will just take some time.
Half true.
If we put both your and "ScooterNyne's" answers together, mess around with them a little, we might have a real answer that isn't totally derived of pure idiosyncrasy.