Your mom has been very selfish in making you stay quiet, this is her problem not being able to deal with it not yours. You dont have to have her reaction and you need to have some justice and mostly, acknowledgement of the truth to really heal this.
You must tell your therapist and tell the police or you will never want to be yourself. The only way to get out of this fantasy is to face up to reality. I know its hard, in more ways than you know. But you have to be strong or else this will never end, you are a victim of your parents both in your mothers neglect and your fathers fear-mongering. Escape this.. what is the worst that could happen? Has the worst not happened already?
The things you went through are sick and wrong and your parents know it or they wouldnt be using fear to control you now. They are scared... and you could now be the one in control. Take action, every one of their actions has a consequence. They decided your after and how you feel now, you must now decide theirs. Trust me, it will heal you when you get the acknowledgment you need.
Free yourself .... I know its scary but you can do it. nothing bad will happen I promise, all the bullshit you've been told is just to prevent the truth getting out. It was their responsibility to look after and protect you, they chose not to do that for whatever reason and now its time to choose to look after your self and your future and realise that this is not your fault, merely a consequence that they now must face to remove their own karma for what they've done. Bringing light to this will heal it and in a weird way, it will heal your parents... because even if you dont want to hurt them, their guilt will manifest into an illness later in life (as it tends to do when its allowed to grow in the dark). Good luck xxx Be brave, make the call.
I've tried...multiple times. I called the cops to investigate whether my sisters were being molested, and my mom screamed her way over to my house and berated me for two hours. Didn't talk to me for a year. Every time I tried to call, she hung up as soon as she heard my voice.
Turns out, she was molested by her grandfather at 3 years old. She remembered it, but never told her grandmother. Apparently staying silent was what she thought I should do. She even had the nerve to say, "It was JUST an age perversion. Grow up." Excuse me? My dad's babymaker is not what I wanted for my 16th birthday.
...And who thinks a father asking his 15-year-old daughter to show him her "boobies" is a JOKE? My mom was a victim who never recovered. She's in denial. I'm a LOT better off than she is right now.
Honestly, wanting to commit suicide over her daughter's accusations rather than her husband's actions is a farce. How did she even live long enough to breed? o_o
I really wish you would tell your therapist about this and I really, really hope that you have left this place and that you are able to check up on your sister. I can understand the feeling of having to leave your sister at home because she is too young to leave.
Once your sister is out of the house and you are out of the house, it will be easier to heal and move on. My Aunt was molested by her step-father and my Grandmother ignored it, swept it under the rug and did nothing. My aunt never got the help that she needed, so I am glad that you have taken such a big step in the right direction. Don't fall into the trap of belittling your role as a victim by saying things like "someone else had it worse", everyone else handles things differently.
Tell your therapist this and I can assure you that it will be easier to heal once you can permanently close the door on your parents. Your Mom has resigned to the life of a victim and your Dad, the life of a victimizer, but once you can leave it all behind and not have to worry about your sister, it will help your psyche out quite a bit.
My sisters and I are all grown up now. My youngest sister is 22, my middle sister is 24, and I'm 27. We're all out of the house, and for now, the sister (22) who has kids lives in ND.
My therapist knows about the abuse. I *see* her for it. She also knows about all the steps I took, including calling the cops. The only thing I'm concerned about telling her is my coping mechanism mentioned above...it's the only thing that's becoming a problem right now. Because of it, I can't work. I can't concentrate. I'm living with a friend, but it won't last much longer if I don't get a job.
She suggested I might have an anxiety disorder. Maybe if I saw a psychiatrist about it, he'd recommend I go on disability. At least, my friends seem to think so :/ But my pride just makes me feel "eeh" when they suggest it.
You should discard that pride before you find yourself is a much more difficult financial spot. It's not all about your comfort with yourself, obviously your pride didn't stop your mental illness from ruining your life. You are really going to have to see your therapist for this because this degree of suffering should be unacceptable for you.
Judging from my experience, a psychiatrist would not help at all. Then again, my psychiatrist was a psycho who was completely unaware, I hope and I assume, that I was being abused. A psychiatrist only focuses on giving people pills while a therapist actually focuses on treating the whole person.
If your therapist is anything like mine, she'll be understanding and professional about this manner. She knows that I disassociated and I have a fantasy world, the latter which she thinks is a good thing, but she hasn't demonized me about anything. Don't be afraid.
IIN that I can't handle reality and pretend to be a fantasy character?
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Your mom has been very selfish in making you stay quiet, this is her problem not being able to deal with it not yours. You dont have to have her reaction and you need to have some justice and mostly, acknowledgement of the truth to really heal this.
You must tell your therapist and tell the police or you will never want to be yourself. The only way to get out of this fantasy is to face up to reality. I know its hard, in more ways than you know. But you have to be strong or else this will never end, you are a victim of your parents both in your mothers neglect and your fathers fear-mongering. Escape this.. what is the worst that could happen? Has the worst not happened already?
The things you went through are sick and wrong and your parents know it or they wouldnt be using fear to control you now. They are scared... and you could now be the one in control. Take action, every one of their actions has a consequence. They decided your after and how you feel now, you must now decide theirs. Trust me, it will heal you when you get the acknowledgment you need.
Free yourself .... I know its scary but you can do it. nothing bad will happen I promise, all the bullshit you've been told is just to prevent the truth getting out. It was their responsibility to look after and protect you, they chose not to do that for whatever reason and now its time to choose to look after your self and your future and realise that this is not your fault, merely a consequence that they now must face to remove their own karma for what they've done. Bringing light to this will heal it and in a weird way, it will heal your parents... because even if you dont want to hurt them, their guilt will manifest into an illness later in life (as it tends to do when its allowed to grow in the dark). Good luck xxx Be brave, make the call.
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naturallyweird
10 years ago
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I've tried...multiple times. I called the cops to investigate whether my sisters were being molested, and my mom screamed her way over to my house and berated me for two hours. Didn't talk to me for a year. Every time I tried to call, she hung up as soon as she heard my voice.
Turns out, she was molested by her grandfather at 3 years old. She remembered it, but never told her grandmother. Apparently staying silent was what she thought I should do. She even had the nerve to say, "It was JUST an age perversion. Grow up." Excuse me? My dad's babymaker is not what I wanted for my 16th birthday.
...And who thinks a father asking his 15-year-old daughter to show him her "boobies" is a JOKE? My mom was a victim who never recovered. She's in denial. I'm a LOT better off than she is right now.
Honestly, wanting to commit suicide over her daughter's accusations rather than her husband's actions is a farce. How did she even live long enough to breed? o_o
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NeuroNeptunian
10 years ago
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Sexual abuse tends to run in families.
I really wish you would tell your therapist about this and I really, really hope that you have left this place and that you are able to check up on your sister. I can understand the feeling of having to leave your sister at home because she is too young to leave.
Once your sister is out of the house and you are out of the house, it will be easier to heal and move on. My Aunt was molested by her step-father and my Grandmother ignored it, swept it under the rug and did nothing. My aunt never got the help that she needed, so I am glad that you have taken such a big step in the right direction. Don't fall into the trap of belittling your role as a victim by saying things like "someone else had it worse", everyone else handles things differently.
Tell your therapist this and I can assure you that it will be easier to heal once you can permanently close the door on your parents. Your Mom has resigned to the life of a victim and your Dad, the life of a victimizer, but once you can leave it all behind and not have to worry about your sister, it will help your psyche out quite a bit.
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naturallyweird
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My sisters and I are all grown up now. My youngest sister is 22, my middle sister is 24, and I'm 27. We're all out of the house, and for now, the sister (22) who has kids lives in ND.
My therapist knows about the abuse. I *see* her for it. She also knows about all the steps I took, including calling the cops. The only thing I'm concerned about telling her is my coping mechanism mentioned above...it's the only thing that's becoming a problem right now. Because of it, I can't work. I can't concentrate. I'm living with a friend, but it won't last much longer if I don't get a job.
She suggested I might have an anxiety disorder. Maybe if I saw a psychiatrist about it, he'd recommend I go on disability. At least, my friends seem to think so :/ But my pride just makes me feel "eeh" when they suggest it.
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NeuroNeptunian
10 years ago
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Avant-Garde
9 years ago
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You should discard that pride before you find yourself is a much more difficult financial spot. It's not all about your comfort with yourself, obviously your pride didn't stop your mental illness from ruining your life. You are really going to have to see your therapist for this because this degree of suffering should be unacceptable for you.
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naturallyweird
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Thanks...you bring up a lot of good points. :)
Judging from my experience, a psychiatrist would not help at all. Then again, my psychiatrist was a psycho who was completely unaware, I hope and I assume, that I was being abused. A psychiatrist only focuses on giving people pills while a therapist actually focuses on treating the whole person.
If your therapist is anything like mine, she'll be understanding and professional about this manner. She knows that I disassociated and I have a fantasy world, the latter which she thinks is a good thing, but she hasn't demonized me about anything. Don't be afraid.