I wish I knew your exact age but I already know you're a lot younger than me.. I've been there, I know! I remember being 18 and thinking all I needed to be happy was to have a boyfriend, but since my self esteem and self confidence was so bad, it was impossible to get one. Later on, after I worked on myself by caring about myself enough to start working out, and start working on my own career and what not, after a while I had more guys wanting to be with me than could ever be possible. I know what you're thinking, you still are stuck on this last person, I understand. However, if you keep busy by working on yourSELF for a while and get into the groove, then you'll reap multiple benefits and be happiest all the way around. As for dating? Just hang out, and see every person you meet just as a friend to start. Just chat with them as if they were your friend only. Because real relationships, the kind that last are based on friendship. So.. when you treat each person as a FRIEND, then either you'll be their friend, or it'll become more automatically. Not anticipating will prevent disappointment and self sabotage, plus this way when your real (not fake) self is out there, you'll always win because it shows when a person is being fake and you'll be respected for having the guts to be yourself. This has worked miracles for me to the point that out of the multiple friendships I have with the opposite sex, I'm sure most of them would date me if I wanted but I don't so they settle for my friendship.. good luck! I hope to hear from you.
I've been trying to do exactly what you've written on here a long time ago. Probably around year 2 of the whole separation. Trying everything that I can to improve myself; i MEAN everything. You're right being busy helps a lot, I have always known that after break-ups. And I am an extremely busy person. Being with him wasn't just a case of having high self-esteem. Even when I'm busy I always find time to think about it; him. I guess I need to work on it more, maybe take a different approach if its not working.
Anyways thanks for taking time to give me a thoughtful response. Good to know the technique I've been using is working for some.
Is it normal that i can't get over him even after 3 yrs?
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I wish I knew your exact age but I already know you're a lot younger than me.. I've been there, I know! I remember being 18 and thinking all I needed to be happy was to have a boyfriend, but since my self esteem and self confidence was so bad, it was impossible to get one. Later on, after I worked on myself by caring about myself enough to start working out, and start working on my own career and what not, after a while I had more guys wanting to be with me than could ever be possible. I know what you're thinking, you still are stuck on this last person, I understand. However, if you keep busy by working on yourSELF for a while and get into the groove, then you'll reap multiple benefits and be happiest all the way around. As for dating? Just hang out, and see every person you meet just as a friend to start. Just chat with them as if they were your friend only. Because real relationships, the kind that last are based on friendship. So.. when you treat each person as a FRIEND, then either you'll be their friend, or it'll become more automatically. Not anticipating will prevent disappointment and self sabotage, plus this way when your real (not fake) self is out there, you'll always win because it shows when a person is being fake and you'll be respected for having the guts to be yourself. This has worked miracles for me to the point that out of the multiple friendships I have with the opposite sex, I'm sure most of them would date me if I wanted but I don't so they settle for my friendship.. good luck! I hope to hear from you.
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PLJ
7 years ago
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Anonymous Post Author
12 years ago
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Well said!
I've been trying to do exactly what you've written on here a long time ago. Probably around year 2 of the whole separation. Trying everything that I can to improve myself; i MEAN everything. You're right being busy helps a lot, I have always known that after break-ups. And I am an extremely busy person. Being with him wasn't just a case of having high self-esteem. Even when I'm busy I always find time to think about it; him. I guess I need to work on it more, maybe take a different approach if its not working.
Anyways thanks for taking time to give me a thoughtful response. Good to know the technique I've been using is working for some.