Is it normal that i can't discipline my son due to guilt

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8 Comments

I'm a 42yr wt male with a 16yr son. I am a recovering addict/wild-man. My son has done as most teens do and rebelled against me becoming a great Christian kid who it seems can't stand me. I am a Christian as well just one with a dirty halo as they say. I wish I could turn back time, go back and change my past, but I can't. I want this great wonderful relationship with him, but when I try, he steps away, sometimes singing 'Cats in the Cradle'. I am dying alittle everyday, inside. He's my only chance for a son/child as his mother doesn't want no more at 45. I'm so consumed with guilt and fear that I'm losing him altogether with my lack of parenting. I should also mention that his mother hasnt been burdened by drugs/guilt and is in my opinion 'a little' tough on him, although a good mom. Is it normal to feel this way?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 8 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Mel
    13 years ago | pl

    Be his father, not his friend. Children respect parents who discipline them when they are wrong. Who cares if hes mad at you, its your job as a parent!!!! He'll thank you for it later. I dont know if youve actually told him about your past? But if you did, its not the right age range for him to know about your wild ways. He'll see it as an excuse to be wild, himself. That information should be kept private until hes an adult & makes smarter decisions. THEN you can share crazy stories & bond as two adults.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    Stop selfishly seeking approval and forgiveness from him. Be a parent. Be respectful of him. Support him in his activities and educational.

    And be a man about having lost his respect for your behaving badly. The only way now is to be someone he can respect. Maybe he will, maybe he won't. At least yo can be a better person.

    But begging, pleading and hoping and wishing is just counterproductive.

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  • Katamariguy
    12 years ago | pl

    What kind of son would sing "Cat's in the Cradle" to his father?

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  • monkyyy
    12 years ago | pl

    (is 17 and also doesn't respect my father)

    at 16 id say the child is rised, morals and personality are out of ur control. (still probably will change tho)
    like everyone above me id say u need to stick to ur guns more then it sounds like u are,

    but not as much as everyone above they are implying what id say for a young teen like 12-13

    u need to treat him like an adult who is just getting out there and still gets to expect help from u,

    and remember to somehow let him respect u(what ever issues u were having make sure to get rid of all the issues leading up it them), and to be able to rely on u; everything form drugs to 4chan can replace the emotional support and (minimal) moral guidance, he should be getting form you

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  • gako
    12 years ago | pl

    ^desperation maybe

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  • soccer2
    13 years ago | pl

    Mel is right

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  • jud1123
    13 years ago | pl

    Mel was right. And of he's like any other 16 year old boy then he'll forget all about it in 20 minutes anyway.

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  • Who_Fan4Life
    13 years ago | pl

    Why the hell are you on some random site asking for some MAJOR parenting skills? Lol.

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