The difficulty of the communication with you and your family sounds key here. Perhaps they're just not receptive to the truth. If you had a heart to heart to them and told them exactly what you've told us here, would they just not be receptive to the info? Obviously they care about you to spend money and to worry about your future. They want to see you with a good future enough to invest in you, so you have to give them credit there even if they seem annoying and to be meddling uncomfortably in your life and your future.
Believe me, I have tried so many times. None of which were worth the amount of pure hatred I received. Earlier this summer, I brought up decided to going to an art college for painting. She got mad and assumed I was referring to MICA. This is the art college that made them so disappointed with me. They told me that I was a racist for wanting to go to it. They claim that the college is racist too. Why? Because it is expensive and at the time (I'm not sure about the current percentage), the amount of black people there was extremely low. It angered them even more that there were a lot of African families living around the college and according to them, it was a shame, because black people could never afford to go there. If anything that should be racist.
I could have never had the heart to heart to tell them the rest. I told my mother about the abuse a few years back and was met with anger. She said she was disappointed with me and that I had been raised wrong, simply for not telling them when it originally happened. She said that it was too late to press charges nd that no one would believe me if I did. When it originally happened, I was scared both of the teacher and how my family would react. I grew up in an abusive family, ironically. They don't even understand how abuse seems to work. I've always feared telling them certain things because, saying the "wrong thing" leads to an angry and nonsensical outburst. Even now, I am iffy about telling them things.
gosh, it sounds like you need to go to therapy with your family. the therapist would make them understand these methods of thinking, like blaming you for your rape and everything else.
Is it normal, that I can't bring myself to do my art anymore?
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The difficulty of the communication with you and your family sounds key here. Perhaps they're just not receptive to the truth. If you had a heart to heart to them and told them exactly what you've told us here, would they just not be receptive to the info? Obviously they care about you to spend money and to worry about your future. They want to see you with a good future enough to invest in you, so you have to give them credit there even if they seem annoying and to be meddling uncomfortably in your life and your future.
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Avant-Garde
9 years ago
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Believe me, I have tried so many times. None of which were worth the amount of pure hatred I received. Earlier this summer, I brought up decided to going to an art college for painting. She got mad and assumed I was referring to MICA. This is the art college that made them so disappointed with me. They told me that I was a racist for wanting to go to it. They claim that the college is racist too. Why? Because it is expensive and at the time (I'm not sure about the current percentage), the amount of black people there was extremely low. It angered them even more that there were a lot of African families living around the college and according to them, it was a shame, because black people could never afford to go there. If anything that should be racist.
I could have never had the heart to heart to tell them the rest. I told my mother about the abuse a few years back and was met with anger. She said she was disappointed with me and that I had been raised wrong, simply for not telling them when it originally happened. She said that it was too late to press charges nd that no one would believe me if I did. When it originally happened, I was scared both of the teacher and how my family would react. I grew up in an abusive family, ironically. They don't even understand how abuse seems to work. I've always feared telling them certain things because, saying the "wrong thing" leads to an angry and nonsensical outburst. Even now, I am iffy about telling them things.
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pixie_dust
9 years ago
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gosh, it sounds like you need to go to therapy with your family. the therapist would make them understand these methods of thinking, like blaming you for your rape and everything else.