Is it normal that i can't bottom after almost 2 years?

36% Normal
7 Comments

So my partner and I have been together since May of '08, he's a top and I'm a versatile bottom. I love sucking dick, but anal I'm still trying to get into. I mean, I know that I like it and am ready for it; I j/o thinking about it and it's extremely hot. But sometimes, it seems more like a fantasy-type fetish if anything.

We've tried EVERYTHING... 3 different dildos, Astroglide lube, silocone lube, H2O lube, 2 vibrating dildos, Anal Ease, an enema, and even a Colt Shower Head. It's like, 9 times out of 10 it hurts too much; whereas that 1 time it goes perfectly... but then it takes like 10-15 more -unsuccessful- tries before it's a success again.

Any ideas? Is it normal for someone to take this long to get used to anal?

Voting Results
36% Normal
Based on 14 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • ConnorWolf
    10 years ago

    I would actually suggest having a bit of alcohol, maybe some wine, before you go at it, and make sure you're all clean inside. Most of anal is all in your head, because it is sometimes very difficult to control the muscles that clamp you shut.

    The alcohol will help you relax. The more you want it the easier it will go, too. Open up with a very small toy, sharpie sized or so... the size is not as important as the relaxation. (You can think of it as you should be able to take something in as big as anything you let out of there... if you relax properly)

    Concentrate on wanting him inside you and try to use your muscles down there as though you were pushing. Having better muscle control will also let you clamp down on him hard at strategic times.. hehe

    I got a lot better after I started using a regular water enema (hose attached to shower)

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  • Cosmicgiggle
    13 years ago

    Some guys in gay relationships assume the role of bottom while the others assume the top. Sometimes, the two switch off, but normally it is moreso ones role than the others

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  • KelticStripes
    14 years ago

    It happens, but I vote that you should go see if it's a possible medical problem. I've been doing anal for over a year, and I'm still not fully used to it.

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  • amale86
    14 years ago

    Like...seriously two years? I voted no, not normal! You guys are still together? Something is wrong, very wrong! Maybe you're not as into anal as you think, or just not into your boyfriend. Or maybe you're doing it just to please your boyfriend, and not yourself!

    Either way IMO two years is just too long. Your boyfriend is probably getting the goods form someone else and not telling you. Honestly, I would have dumped you a long time ago. Too many people in the world to just focus on just one after two years!

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  • lycrayum
    14 years ago

    oh and good luck i hope that info is of some help.....and btw lucky him! if only my gf was that into it!

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  • lycrayum
    14 years ago

    I read somewhere that it helps to go realllly slooowly and as he enters you a little bit at a time, you contract and release your ass - apparently it is like when you go for a poo (just make sure you have already gone!) so squeeze, then release, then lower yourself onto his head, then squeeze, release, push down on his head a bit more, squeeze, release, get the head inside you....

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  • Sweetcat
    13 years ago

    Agree with ^^ Lycrayum :) perfectly described. Can't believe what U guys have been missing, do it, U will NOT regret it ;) it'll hurt at first which is perfectly normal but then it feels f******* great :) :)

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