It's discouraging to me because I've been charged with assault and larceny, I got into a lot of trouble in High School, I have been hospitalized for depression and suicidal behavior twice (as a teen) and I have a colorful record of domestic violence calls in my family (most, no, ALL of which I take no responsibility for as I quite literally never in my life laid a hand on my Mother, but that didn't matter to the police).
The process is an extremely difficult one. Even if I had a house and a good marriage, life and income, I can be turned down for shit I did at 16. That's why I am bitter towards the OP. No matter how good of a person you are now, your past, if you weren't a saint like we know everyone but me is, then the system will deem you undeserving and unfit for parenthood, regardless of whether you have happy, well fed and well cared for children.
It's a shame and while I understand why they do it, I think that in the end, it only hurts the children who need homes and would take a reformed troubled-teen turned college-educated Mormon wife over a half-rate, temporary foster home any day.
I totally agree, Neuro. Really, considering what you've been through and what you've made of yourself despite all that should work for you, not against you. You WILL be a great mum one day, though.
I understand screening, but really I wish there were some mandatory parenting classes for biological parents, so a big portion of kids wouldn't even be in need of foster care in the first place.
It'd definitely be helping a problem before it starts. I truly believe that a lot of "bad parents" are bad because they don't know how to handle themselves when they get upset or when their kids wouldn't comply and often it is because their own parents didn't know how to deal with them so they, of course, can't offer counsel.
I doubt it would totally solve the problem, but considering you can't drive legally without knowing the basics, you can't work certain jobs without certification and that parenting is MUCH more difficult than driving or fixing cars, I think it's a joke that people think that because a woman and/or man have a baby, they should automatically become expert parents.
Yup. Equipping them with skills and strategies would help a lot. It wouldn't solve everything, and there'd obviously be people who took no notice of the classes, but at least it'd be an effort. Implementation of it would be difficult/impossible, though.
There are some people that just shouldn't be allowed to breed. But that is well out of anyone else's control. Sad bit is, it's the innocent kids that end up hurt. And anyway, people like you prove that good can come from very bad parenting.
Is it normal that I believe people should adopt more
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This site explains a little bit
http://forums.adoption.com/becoming-foster-parents/148274-reasons-denied.html
It's discouraging to me because I've been charged with assault and larceny, I got into a lot of trouble in High School, I have been hospitalized for depression and suicidal behavior twice (as a teen) and I have a colorful record of domestic violence calls in my family (most, no, ALL of which I take no responsibility for as I quite literally never in my life laid a hand on my Mother, but that didn't matter to the police).
The process is an extremely difficult one. Even if I had a house and a good marriage, life and income, I can be turned down for shit I did at 16. That's why I am bitter towards the OP. No matter how good of a person you are now, your past, if you weren't a saint like we know everyone but me is, then the system will deem you undeserving and unfit for parenthood, regardless of whether you have happy, well fed and well cared for children.
It's a shame and while I understand why they do it, I think that in the end, it only hurts the children who need homes and would take a reformed troubled-teen turned college-educated Mormon wife over a half-rate, temporary foster home any day.
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charli.m
10 years ago
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I totally agree, Neuro. Really, considering what you've been through and what you've made of yourself despite all that should work for you, not against you. You WILL be a great mum one day, though.
I understand screening, but really I wish there were some mandatory parenting classes for biological parents, so a big portion of kids wouldn't even be in need of foster care in the first place.
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NeuroNeptunian
10 years ago
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It'd definitely be helping a problem before it starts. I truly believe that a lot of "bad parents" are bad because they don't know how to handle themselves when they get upset or when their kids wouldn't comply and often it is because their own parents didn't know how to deal with them so they, of course, can't offer counsel.
I doubt it would totally solve the problem, but considering you can't drive legally without knowing the basics, you can't work certain jobs without certification and that parenting is MUCH more difficult than driving or fixing cars, I think it's a joke that people think that because a woman and/or man have a baby, they should automatically become expert parents.
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charli.m
10 years ago
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Yup. Equipping them with skills and strategies would help a lot. It wouldn't solve everything, and there'd obviously be people who took no notice of the classes, but at least it'd be an effort. Implementation of it would be difficult/impossible, though.
There are some people that just shouldn't be allowed to breed. But that is well out of anyone else's control. Sad bit is, it's the innocent kids that end up hurt. And anyway, people like you prove that good can come from very bad parenting.