Typical. Part of what makes it so easily recognizable as typical is that you claim to be happy, but that's obviously not true (you came here to ask about it, AND you feel 'wrong' for not being productive). And you are fooling yourself with this 'healthy' facade. You're no idiot, you know you're damaged (or doing damage) on the inside, and you just use your healthy exterior to fool yourself into thinking things are OK.
What should you do? I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet myself. It's a huge deal to give up something that has been such a comfort for such a long time. It's almost like you don't know who you are anymore, and how to act without it. It's a scary thought. Even if it only means having to go to bed and lie awake and have to think about things instead of just passing out. It's a shock.
Is it normal that I am piss-drunk every single day?
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I understand. Been there.
Typical. Part of what makes it so easily recognizable as typical is that you claim to be happy, but that's obviously not true (you came here to ask about it, AND you feel 'wrong' for not being productive). And you are fooling yourself with this 'healthy' facade. You're no idiot, you know you're damaged (or doing damage) on the inside, and you just use your healthy exterior to fool yourself into thinking things are OK.
What should you do? I don't know. I haven't figured it out yet myself. It's a huge deal to give up something that has been such a comfort for such a long time. It's almost like you don't know who you are anymore, and how to act without it. It's a scary thought. Even if it only means having to go to bed and lie awake and have to think about things instead of just passing out. It's a shock.