Is it normal that i am obsessed with my husband?
I got married to my boyfriend of 6 years in January 2008. We had come to our home country for a short while and I wanted to get married. He was not keen and wanted a big wedding. My family always helped him in every way possible and they went out of their way to support him. He wanted to get a visa for UK and my family helped him. My father wanted was us to get married as we had been living in for 3 years. I told him to let his parents know that we can have a court marriage or a civil wedding so my parents would be at peace. He denied it and I was getting very disappointed in him as me and my family were doing all we could to help him and he was not reciprocating. He finally agreed but he said that he cannot let his parents know and that our marriage will be a secret till we have an actual wedding. I agreed as I had no choice then.
We got married, he got a visa and we returned to the UK, we lived together until may 2009 and then we returned to our home country. Since then, a lot has happened in my personal life, my sister got pregnant before marriage, it brought back a lot of childhood memories of when my dad cheated on my mom with my mom's younger sister. My husband supported me throughout that but he was with me for a week after which he went to live with his parents.
He has been living with his parents since and did come to visit me once for 1 month in August. We kept having arguments, fights, etc. about why he cannot live with me and he kept saying it isn't possible without a social marriage. He cannot start living with me unless his entire family attends our social wedding.
I lived over 500 kms away from him so he could not come to meet me very often, I relocated to a house 29 kms away from his. It was an absolutely empty house when I got here, I spent over 2 months setting everything right. He still does not come to see me very often. I don't see him for 10 days in a row at times. He just would not live with me. I have nothing against a social marriage. I would do it today if I could but I need to lose a lot of weight before I can publicly stand in front of so many of his relatives and mine. I am getting treatment for severe acne and stress related patches all over my body so even that will take a while and I cannot look like a loser at my wedding as I have dreamt of having a good wedding all my life. It was terrible in January and I dont want it to be terrible once more. Also, he has been looking for a job for 2 years and he cannot find one due to recession so he is extremely depressed about that.
We have a fight everyday. I get an urge to hug him all the time. I need to be with him and I miss him terribly. I fight with them and ask him to come and live with me all the time but he would not and we fight and fight. We talk about leaving each other, we talk about divorce. Who is right? Who is wrong? What do I do? Is there a solution?