Is it normal that i am incapable of feeling good anymore?

two years ago, the only girl I ever had a relationship with left. She told me she loved me. She never left a sign of resentment. When she left nothing added up. She apparently had been lieing to me the whole time about everything. She seemed to hate my guts.

How someone can lie so well is beyond me, but we are talking about my feelings and not being capable of being actually happy...

Being with her was the only time I ever felt truly happy. before her, I simply had no care for anything. I was not sad nor was I happy, I was neutral on most things, and frustrated about how stupid most of the population was. Then she came along and the feelings I had felt... were in my perception, feelings of love and happiness.
for 2 years I felt sadness, and in my most clear moments, simply careless, like my old self.
Since then, I've entered another relationship, and this person is just above and beyond amazing. I feel I would love her if I could, but that feeling is absent. happiness is absent. I feel held back, like I can't love anymore. I knew I had issues with emotions, but this... was something I do not want. I want to be able to feel these feelings, but I can't. So I do what I can to keep the relationship going while I try to get help for it. So far that help proves worthless. So am I as abnormal as I feel mentally?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 10 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Well, it's a phase of breaking up. it's very normal; and you'll either get through it, or kill yourself. I'd recommend the first option, though, because death isn't fun. Trust me...

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  • Thanks for all the feedback.

    For starters, I know who I am:
    I know what I can do and I've never had any true difficulty with anything but people. I can do whatever I want... literally.
    The haunting aspect to this is that I cannot stop thinking about how pointless it is... because in truth... none of this matters.

    Butttt... I'm trying to accept it...

    Thanks for the advice. I'll heed it.

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  • Think of it this way... You have nothing to lose. When you feel you've lost terribly like this, there's only one way to go and that is UP. A new era, a new chapter of life. Who knows where you will end up.

    One more thing...

    Are you a creative person? If not, try it? It doesn't matter if you think you suck at it or whatever you produce is not commercially viable. Creation is an ultimate venting method and its also productive. In time of doing it you may also find out new things about yourself. I know I do with music and songwriting.

    Sorry about the length. I hope this helps.
    Take it easy...

    - Darkrain.

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  • I couldnt agree more with other peoples posts about talking to docs or getting anti-depressents. It's not a bad thing! they can work wonders. I know various people who they are working for right now. Unfortunately the ones I were put on worked for me for a short time then turned against me and it put me off them. It's not ALWAYS the case, but that's another story.

    But from my experience, it's hard getting over things that are/have been so important to you and the things in life can change you and leave lasting affects. But this doesn't mean you are stuck this way forever. It's about taking positive steps in an epic direction. It could take a long time, afterall, thats what it's taking for me - it has to build. But do not feel beaten because it will only suck you further into its wake.

    Once you find out who YOU are, you will find it possible to love again, and enjoy your life. This will boost your character persona and maybe you will even feel more healthier, or to be more precise... energy driven. It is working for me in small doses. But I still think I have a long way to go yet. It's good that you have atleast started building up another relationship and it's never too late. I know it's over said, but don't let the past ruin your present.

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  • This is my first post as I've just signed up after being on this site for over 2 hours. Sorry if
    this is abit long, but I feel compelled to share my feelings on this too as I can relate to it.

    It's almost been a year since my gf left me and we were together for 5 years. We started as best
    friends and now we don't even speak at all. It's a pretty similar situation, I've had other relationships but this one was serious. I loved her with my heart and soul and before I was with her, I wondered if I would ever be capable of loving someone so strongly.

    One day she left and I couldn't understand why. I found out from people that what I once believed
    was truth really was NOT the truth. She cheated on me on a holiday. As angry as I was I couldn't
    blame her really, I had become very depressed and had completely lost touch with myself. Obviously when she left me it only added to my depression along with me becoming laid off from a good job due to the recession taking its toll on the business. My band were my primary escape from lifes crap. Sadly, that too came to an abrupt end. All this happened in the space of 2 weeks.

    I developed a lot of issues and the issues I already had got worse such as becoming a recluse and
    excessive drinking. I too feel like I will be sad for a long time to come, I know, it's not much
    consolation. I also find it hard to build a relationship with someone new.

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  • You cant be happy in a relationship unless your happy with yourself. Get some therapy or talk to your doc about trying some anti depressants.

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  • I don't think you are emotionless, I think you are scared that if you feel again you will get hurt like the way the other girl hurt you...somewhere deep inside you do actually feel something for this new girl, otherwise you wouldn't have said that she's amazing. If you feel she's amazing then why are you holding youself back? Don't be scared! You have to realise that love, just like life, is a gamble...if you don't open yourself up and take a chance then you will never know if she was the one....take that chance or risk maybe loosing "The One" and forever regretting it! Stop thinking of your ex, its just making you depressed and holding you back...there's a reason why it ended, she wasn't meant to be!

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  • Well I'm kind off going through the same thing.. Except she did have feelings for me but she was messed up. I also go through this emotionless feelings and I have no idea what to do with it, I'm trying hard and actually I'm starting psychological therapies now. The only stupid advice I could give you is try ignoring what's going on around you.. Then again that what brought me to this therapy, so it's a stupid advice :)

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  • Sounds to me you only had those feelings because you didnt have what you want in your life which is a relationship in which case alot of people seem that way so its nothing special.

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    • he said hes in another relationship, so hes not unhappy because he wants a relationship. as a response to your story, i dont know if its normal, since you should feel happy with her. maybe you are but you tell yourself you arent because of the experience you had before. you feel like you dont have this happiness because the one you had before, you felt was a lie.
      or its just the person, try another relationship?

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