Lots of people have terrible childhoods and get over it and, apparently, your boyfriend is one of those people. Stop feeling sorry for him, if he wanted your pity, he would have told you about his childhood. The fact he did not tell you means it is something he has left in his past and that's where he wants it to stay. If you bring it up or try to talk about it with him, it will ruin your relationship. If he can get over it, so can you!
I actually disagree. I believe that if someone is truly over their traumatic experience then they will be able to openly talk/discuss it with someone they are close too. If they aren't then there's a problem still there since it will bring up emotions and cause the person to not want to talk about it, but if they were totally over it and had gone through the healing process then in the OP's case, she would be able to talk with him without stirring unknown emotions.
What you or I "believe" is irrelevant. This person is dealing with his past the way HE chooses to deal with it and HE has chosen not to talk about/discuss it. That is HIS decision, not your, my or the OP's decision, HIS decision and the OP should respect that.
Sometimes people "reinvent" themselves, as it were, and leave their past behind. Often, such people will have no family photos in their homes, high school yearbooks, or whatever, because they have chosen to leave that part of their lives in the past.
If the OP in this case keeps badgering her BF about his past and insisting he discuss it, he's going to dump her and find a girl who will respect his decision not to discuss his past.
Is it normal that I am confused about my boyfriend's traumatic past?
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Lots of people have terrible childhoods and get over it and, apparently, your boyfriend is one of those people. Stop feeling sorry for him, if he wanted your pity, he would have told you about his childhood. The fact he did not tell you means it is something he has left in his past and that's where he wants it to stay. If you bring it up or try to talk about it with him, it will ruin your relationship. If he can get over it, so can you!
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those3simplewords
10 years ago
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I actually disagree. I believe that if someone is truly over their traumatic experience then they will be able to openly talk/discuss it with someone they are close too. If they aren't then there's a problem still there since it will bring up emotions and cause the person to not want to talk about it, but if they were totally over it and had gone through the healing process then in the OP's case, she would be able to talk with him without stirring unknown emotions.
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Moonbow
10 years ago
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What you or I "believe" is irrelevant. This person is dealing with his past the way HE chooses to deal with it and HE has chosen not to talk about/discuss it. That is HIS decision, not your, my or the OP's decision, HIS decision and the OP should respect that.
Sometimes people "reinvent" themselves, as it were, and leave their past behind. Often, such people will have no family photos in their homes, high school yearbooks, or whatever, because they have chosen to leave that part of their lives in the past.
If the OP in this case keeps badgering her BF about his past and insisting he discuss it, he's going to dump her and find a girl who will respect his decision not to discuss his past.