No one wants to be affected. Everyone wants to be strong. If someone tries to hurt you, one of the best things you can do is show them it doesn't hurt.
Sadly, it's not always possible.
You should talk to him. You shouldn't treat him differently unless he wants you to.
Don't forget about it. Tell him you're there for him if he needs you to be.
Maybe he will open up about it one day. Maybe there is nothing to say. Maybe he's cried, and screamed, and done whatever he needs to get the pain out of his system... maybe... I don't know... I've been through some awful things, and I don't want to talk about them sometimes... most people I meet say I come off remarkable for my circumstances... some people can tell I've went through abuse, though.
For me, I wouldn't want to relive such dark things. Maybe he feels like that. Maybe he's made his peace with it, so to speak. There is not peace to be made with those things, in my opinion, but you can get to a point where you don't care and they don't affect you... that's good...
If he seems unaffected, tell his sister to fuck off. Tell her he's a different man now. Tell her he's okay now, and you don't like her trying to "warn you".
That's what I'd want.
Just be careful. Everyone handles things differently.
Be loving, but not super-nice. That's not respectful.
You should talk to him, and make peace with it. Not talking about just seems... immature in a way.
I agree with most of what you say... but his sister wasn't trying to be mean! She is one of the few people that were actually nice to him, she was like her true mother. She knows him much better than me I guess. She is just still trying to take care of his "little" brother.
Your boyfriend has chosen not to discuss his past and if you keep badgering him about it, you're not going to have a boyfriend. If you don't respect his decision, then you don't respect him. Leave it alone!
Okay, but it didn't sound that way to me. It sounded really disrespectful. Has he ever done anything to weird or done anything that scares you?
I think it was up to him if he wanted to share this with you. It was not up to her. You and him are together, and even if she is a friend, I don't think it was her place to tell you all of this.
Maybe she meant well, but, I don't think that was a good way to show it.
Is it normal that I am confused about my boyfriend's traumatic past?
← View full post
No one wants to be affected. Everyone wants to be strong. If someone tries to hurt you, one of the best things you can do is show them it doesn't hurt.
Sadly, it's not always possible.
You should talk to him. You shouldn't treat him differently unless he wants you to.
Don't forget about it. Tell him you're there for him if he needs you to be.
Maybe he will open up about it one day. Maybe there is nothing to say. Maybe he's cried, and screamed, and done whatever he needs to get the pain out of his system... maybe... I don't know... I've been through some awful things, and I don't want to talk about them sometimes... most people I meet say I come off remarkable for my circumstances... some people can tell I've went through abuse, though.
For me, I wouldn't want to relive such dark things. Maybe he feels like that. Maybe he's made his peace with it, so to speak. There is not peace to be made with those things, in my opinion, but you can get to a point where you don't care and they don't affect you... that's good...
If he seems unaffected, tell his sister to fuck off. Tell her he's a different man now. Tell her he's okay now, and you don't like her trying to "warn you".
That's what I'd want.
Just be careful. Everyone handles things differently.
Be loving, but not super-nice. That's not respectful.
You should talk to him, and make peace with it. Not talking about just seems... immature in a way.
Good luck.
--
Anonymous Post Author
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
I agree with most of what you say... but his sister wasn't trying to be mean! She is one of the few people that were actually nice to him, she was like her true mother. She knows him much better than me I guess. She is just still trying to take care of his "little" brother.
--
Moonbow
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
-
[Old Memory]
10 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
0
0
Your boyfriend has chosen not to discuss his past and if you keep badgering him about it, you're not going to have a boyfriend. If you don't respect his decision, then you don't respect him. Leave it alone!
Okay, but it didn't sound that way to me. It sounded really disrespectful. Has he ever done anything to weird or done anything that scares you?
I think it was up to him if he wanted to share this with you. It was not up to her. You and him are together, and even if she is a friend, I don't think it was her place to tell you all of this.
Maybe she meant well, but, I don't think that was a good way to show it.