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To OP you are not alone. I to suffer from pedophilia. I also refuse to harm a child. Here is my post if it will help.
https://www.isitnormal.com/post/i-am-a-pedophile-do-you-hate-me--188635
Also if you would like to speak to some people who also suffer the same, go to Virtuous Pedophiles http://virped.org/
Is it normal that I am attracted to little girls?
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To OP you are not alone. I to suffer from pedophilia. I also refuse to harm a child. Here is my post if it will help.
https://www.isitnormal.com/post/i-am-a-pedophile-do-you-hate-me--188635
Also if you would like to speak to some people who also suffer the same, go to Virtuous Pedophiles http://virped.org/