Is it normal that i am angry at my sister in law for this?

I've been married to my husband for four years. And from the moment I met him his little step sister has been copying EVERYTHING I do. From the way I dress, hairstyle, type of decor in my house, right down to the things that I buy for our son. This may sound petty to a lot of you, but I don't think I can even explain how far it goes. She and her husband moved to the same place we did after we moved away from hawaii. To Maryland. And She literally lives like 1000 ft from my house. I have to see her constantly.

Her husband does it too. He proposed to my sister in law in the exact same place and way that my husband did for me. I've tried to talk to her but she honestly doesn't get it.

I'm starting to feel like I'm insane because everyone always says how "nice" she is and how "sweet" she is. Yeah, but that's about as far as it goes. She has no personality of her own so she tries to emulate me. Her marriage is so fake too. Her husband just married her because it was the "next step" in his life. And he never does anything with her. So she tries to emulate our marriage as hers in front of our family and friends.

I knowthis sounds like I'm totally self absorbed. But I'm not. Imagine If, for four years, everything you bought, did, or even certain ideas, were copied. And then this person acts like it was of her own accord that she did these things. It's gotten to the point that my husband and I don't talk about our plans for the future with our family for fear that she and her husband will find out and dobthe same things because they're to afraid to do things for themselves. Other people have noticed this and have stopped hanging out with both of them. But I really want to know if this is normal to feel this way? And Is SHE normal??

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 15 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Punch her in the face.

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  • Well, it's funny that you said that because a few months back my husband and I bought one of those bike carriages that your child can ride inside of as you pull them behind you. It's really nice and our son loves it. We spent a decent chunk of change on it and who do you think ended up getting one three days later??? My sister in law. And the real kicker is, they don't even have bikes. It's pathetic and scary and I'm ready to rip my hair out!

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  • Tell them u are doing things and then don't do them, like u are buying a pool or something big. If they get a pool then u have serious problems! How annoying for u!

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  • Buy her a mirror so she can emulate herself

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  • I have the same type of problem but it's my mother that copies me. Drives me insane.

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  • My brother does the same thing and it did make me angry, so I stop talking about stuff like that with him and the situation has improved.

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  • It just never ends. She's too scared to go out and meet people on her own. So she worms her way into all of my friends lives. And they're all too nice to tell her off. It is NOT healthy or normal to share all of this with anyone.

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  • Thanks guys. You crack me up! But my problem is solved!! They're moving away to California. The funny thing is that my husband and I were moving there in April (military family). My husband got orders to go there. And her husband got orders to north Carolina. Well then he switched his orders to California. Go figure right. Our orders were canceled, so we get to stat where we are. Which means I'll be free for the first timebin four years. But the other day she had the nerve to say that I'd be lost without her. "Who would I hang out with when she leaves?" UM REALLY???? All of her "friends" are MY friends that I was nice enough to introduce her to. I think I'll be just fine. And I have a dear friend in California that my sister in law has already started contacting to find out when they can hang out. I

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  • Wow! It's normal how you're feeling. I would too. As for her behavior, it's certainly not normal!

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  • What a nutty broad. I'd be really pissed and unable to be nice about it. I'd bite her ankles or put a swarm of bees in her house or something ridiculous

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  • have all four of you ever sat down and discussed it seriously? if yes, then change your locks and shell copy you and get the same ones, then sneak into her house and kill her.

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  • And Eva, the thought has crossed my mind. Especially lately. ;P

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  • I know she's not doing it to hurt me. I try very hard to ignore it, but sometimes it just gets to be too much. And even If she's not doing it to hurt me, it most definitely doesn't make it any less irritating. But thank you.

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  • Whoa - that is bizarre! And sad. I'll guess your husband has talked with her about this, and if to no avail yet, then he just has to be concrete & persistent.

    Otherwise, keep up your boundaries & privacy. Also, try not to personalize it, I doubt she is doing this to hurt you.

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  • I admit I would find this irritating myself. I had a neighbour that used to do this.

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