Questions like this are always difficult to respond to sensibly when there's no indication of the age of the child and no hint of how one particular issue fits in with the parent-child relationship as a whole.
I'm the father of a daughter. I used to pester her by tickling her feet when she was very young, but she's a tween now, and there's no way I'd make a point of doing that at every opportunity now.
Tickling is a weird thing in general. It's playful, and yet it's also aggressive, since you're doing something to another person that forces them to react because of a physiological response to a certain type of stimulation. I used to tickle my daughter a lot when she was small, but one day when she was eight, she looked me in the eye and told me that it really annoyed her, so I stopped.
It's possible that what your father does is completely innocent. It's not unusual for parents to have problems accepting that their child is growing up and not a little kid anymore, so they can have problems seeing that some things that were once appropriate aren't any longer.
Being the father of a daughter in these days of hyper-awareness of sexual issues in the family can be difficult, and that same hyper-vigilance can also make kids question their parents' behaviour and see sexual undertones where there are none. Sometimes when my daughter hugs me, I hold her really tight and play at not letting her go, but there's nothing at all sexual about that; it's just a way of telling her in a physical way that I like being with her. That's the sort of relationship we have, but I can see how it would be inappropriate in other father-daughter relationships and unappreciated by other daughters.
Something I don't understand is how, if this really bothers you, your father ever has the opportunity to grab your feet and hold them. Surely, it wouldn't be all that difficult for you to make a point of keeping them out of his reach if you don't want him to mess with them.
Thanks for the long post!
Well first, if he’s 63 (though often claims to be 21 lol) and my mum is around 40 (I don’t know her exact age). I’m not going to put my age out here for personal reasons but yeah.
I don’t really know if I specifically told him to stop but i have tried my best here and there (not the biggest fan of telling people off).
Also that’s the reason i came to this site, seeing if I was making a mess out of nothing.
To address you’re final point, I don’t normally wear socks/shoes in the house so whenever i sit down in most ways, the feet are very much exposed. Though he often tries to block the exit so I can’t leave the room.
Anyway, here’s everything else i found suspicious of him if that helps you:
1.He watches porn (found from his history)
2.Like mentioned, he often mentions he’s a lot younger then his age
3.My mum might of been underage when my dad and her started dating and stuff
4.He’s always threatening to beat me in many ways (though he never lays a hand on me, that’s what my mum used to do). From saying that he’s “perfect at karate”, “it’s just sugar” or just saying it outright, saying that “it made him better” and things like that.
5. When talking to me, he often calls me “dad” or “daddy” and when talking to others, calls me “a baby” and my mum “mum” (if you know what I mean.)
Though with all of this, it seems to have calmed down a lot now that i talk with my friends (because corona). Then again, if my older brother is in the room, it doesn’t stop him so idk what the difference is.
Hopes this helps!
IIN that I’m pretty sure my dad likes my feet?
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Questions like this are always difficult to respond to sensibly when there's no indication of the age of the child and no hint of how one particular issue fits in with the parent-child relationship as a whole.
I'm the father of a daughter. I used to pester her by tickling her feet when she was very young, but she's a tween now, and there's no way I'd make a point of doing that at every opportunity now.
Tickling is a weird thing in general. It's playful, and yet it's also aggressive, since you're doing something to another person that forces them to react because of a physiological response to a certain type of stimulation. I used to tickle my daughter a lot when she was small, but one day when she was eight, she looked me in the eye and told me that it really annoyed her, so I stopped.
It's possible that what your father does is completely innocent. It's not unusual for parents to have problems accepting that their child is growing up and not a little kid anymore, so they can have problems seeing that some things that were once appropriate aren't any longer.
Being the father of a daughter in these days of hyper-awareness of sexual issues in the family can be difficult, and that same hyper-vigilance can also make kids question their parents' behaviour and see sexual undertones where there are none. Sometimes when my daughter hugs me, I hold her really tight and play at not letting her go, but there's nothing at all sexual about that; it's just a way of telling her in a physical way that I like being with her. That's the sort of relationship we have, but I can see how it would be inappropriate in other father-daughter relationships and unappreciated by other daughters.
Something I don't understand is how, if this really bothers you, your father ever has the opportunity to grab your feet and hold them. Surely, it wouldn't be all that difficult for you to make a point of keeping them out of his reach if you don't want him to mess with them.
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Thanks for the long post!
Well first, if he’s 63 (though often claims to be 21 lol) and my mum is around 40 (I don’t know her exact age). I’m not going to put my age out here for personal reasons but yeah.
I don’t really know if I specifically told him to stop but i have tried my best here and there (not the biggest fan of telling people off).
Also that’s the reason i came to this site, seeing if I was making a mess out of nothing.
To address you’re final point, I don’t normally wear socks/shoes in the house so whenever i sit down in most ways, the feet are very much exposed. Though he often tries to block the exit so I can’t leave the room.
Anyway, here’s everything else i found suspicious of him if that helps you:
1.He watches porn (found from his history)
2.Like mentioned, he often mentions he’s a lot younger then his age
3.My mum might of been underage when my dad and her started dating and stuff
4.He’s always threatening to beat me in many ways (though he never lays a hand on me, that’s what my mum used to do). From saying that he’s “perfect at karate”, “it’s just sugar” or just saying it outright, saying that “it made him better” and things like that.
5. When talking to me, he often calls me “dad” or “daddy” and when talking to others, calls me “a baby” and my mum “mum” (if you know what I mean.)
Though with all of this, it seems to have calmed down a lot now that i talk with my friends (because corona). Then again, if my older brother is in the room, it doesn’t stop him so idk what the difference is.
Hopes this helps!