I became addicted to hydrocodone after cutting my leg with a chainsaw. I’m glad that you all were able to take them without becoming addicted but they ruined my life. They kept upping my dose cuz the pain wouldn’t subside at the previous dose. Once the doctor wouldn’t go any higher I started buying them on the streets which became the tipping point. Because I no longer had to abide by the limit the doctor had placed on me, I could take as much as I wanted over the course of the next 10 years, I lost everything. Even ended up in prison because I lost my drivers license and kept driving so I could go get my pills. I thought they would never send me to prison for that and BOY was I wrong! I spent a total of 18 months as in inmate of the Department of Corrections.
If your interested in my story, continue reading....
I understand that I could’ve sought help sooner, but I kept telling myself that I wasn’t an addict because I was taking a prescription. Unfortunately, at the time I originally sought help, there were no clinics around me that offered treatment for opioids. I would’ve had to drive 90 miles one way, daily, for treatment and with no license, it just wasn’t an option and my insurance wouldn’t pay for in-patient rehab. Shortly after that, my wife took my daughter and left me. That’s when my addiction REALLY spiraled out of control. I began taking every and any drug I could get my hands on. Heroine, Methamphetamine, Cocaine, Fentanyl, Diludid, Morphine, OxyContins, literally anything. Because at that point, i felt I had nothing left to lose. Shortly after she left, i attempted to take my life by overdose for the first time and was hospitilized. Months passes, my ex-wife wouldn’t even let me speak to my daughter, despite being sober for weeks so I dove back into the drugs and that’s when I ended up in prison. While in prison I was placed on a drug called Suboxone and it changed my life. It blocks withdrawals from opiates and its mixed with naloxone (Narcan) so it cannot be abused or get you high or make you feel good at all. I did treatment while I was in there and really got ahold of my addiction.
After I got out of prison, the ex-wife still refused to let me see or talk to my daughter, added with trying to adjust to regular life again, I attempted to end my life by overdose the second time. My daughter is my everything; she is my reason to live. I feel she is the one thing in this world that I’ve done right. I was a stay-at-home-dad her entire life up until her mother took her away from me. So I spent every waking moment with my princess. She was and still is, A daddie’s girl. I just wanted to add that for context as to why I felt the need to end it all. When they found me I was barely breathing and by the time they got me to the hospital, they had to intubate. Shortly after they placed me on the ventilator, my heart went out of rhythm for the first time. They were able to shock it back. The current hospital I was at, could not handle the level of care I required so they called and I was to be air lifted to the nearest trauma center. It’s my understanding that as soon as they loaded me into the helicopter, my heart stopped. I was told they then had to remove me from the chopper and perform CPR for 18 min on the helipad and shock my heart 4 times to get me back. Then I was finally air lifted. I was placed on life support for a total of 7 days. While I was in the hospital, I guess they called my ex-wife because she was still listed as my emergency contact and we were still technically married, our divorce had not been finalized yet. They told her that she should bring my daughter up to see me if she wished to have her see me alive for the last time. They gave me a 15% chance of survival. She told me that she brought my daughter up to say goodbye but I don’t know if it’s true or not. But, I ended up pulling through, I’m here. My ex now understands the gravity of not allowing me to see or speak to my daughter so I do get to FaceTime her (instead of visitation due to COVID-19), my mental health is doing better as a result. I have since stopped taking Suboxone (I graduated, meaning I was slowly weaned off of it) and I am completely drug free. I do have Suboxone for breakthrough cravings, but I’ve never had to use them. If you read all the way through, thank you for taking the time and reading my story. In the end, I wish I would’ve just dealt with the pain from the accident to begin with. My life would’ve turned out completely different if I had. But I can’t look at the past, I just have to keep moving forward!
See that’s the thing. I feel like the way doctors prescribe them is how so many fall to addiction. They increased your dosage. That’s the biggest trap in my opinion. They do it because you develop a tolerance. Before you know it, your dosage is so high you’re physically addicted because you can’t stop without being bedridden with withdrawal. I’ve been taking the same dose (15mg/day) for almost 8 years now. I’ll admit, I’m not listening to my doctor which many would see as reckless. Usually when I get my refill, I’ll take 1/3 of the pills and put them away for future emergencies. Then I take them until I run out of the other 2/3. This means I have to go without for about 10 days a month. I get by with lots of tylenol, water, and exercise. It’s not fun some days with the pain but I’ve managed to avoid a tolerance this way. I’ve been wanting to explain to my doctor that this could potentially be a good plan for other long-term pain patients but I’m worried he’ll scrutinize me for doing my own thing with my medication. I’m terribly sorry to hear about your struggles. I know it can be extremely difficult for some people. Unfortunately for my case, my pain has not gone away in all these years and my doctors don’t have any other options for me besides getting in better shape which has been my big struggle in life. I don’t get addicted to drugs, I am addicted to food. I just hope that once I can finally conquer my weight problem my pain will get better.
Is it normal that I’m able to take pain medication responsibly?
← View full post
I became addicted to hydrocodone after cutting my leg with a chainsaw. I’m glad that you all were able to take them without becoming addicted but they ruined my life. They kept upping my dose cuz the pain wouldn’t subside at the previous dose. Once the doctor wouldn’t go any higher I started buying them on the streets which became the tipping point. Because I no longer had to abide by the limit the doctor had placed on me, I could take as much as I wanted over the course of the next 10 years, I lost everything. Even ended up in prison because I lost my drivers license and kept driving so I could go get my pills. I thought they would never send me to prison for that and BOY was I wrong! I spent a total of 18 months as in inmate of the Department of Corrections.
If your interested in my story, continue reading....
I understand that I could’ve sought help sooner, but I kept telling myself that I wasn’t an addict because I was taking a prescription. Unfortunately, at the time I originally sought help, there were no clinics around me that offered treatment for opioids. I would’ve had to drive 90 miles one way, daily, for treatment and with no license, it just wasn’t an option and my insurance wouldn’t pay for in-patient rehab. Shortly after that, my wife took my daughter and left me. That’s when my addiction REALLY spiraled out of control. I began taking every and any drug I could get my hands on. Heroine, Methamphetamine, Cocaine, Fentanyl, Diludid, Morphine, OxyContins, literally anything. Because at that point, i felt I had nothing left to lose. Shortly after she left, i attempted to take my life by overdose for the first time and was hospitilized. Months passes, my ex-wife wouldn’t even let me speak to my daughter, despite being sober for weeks so I dove back into the drugs and that’s when I ended up in prison. While in prison I was placed on a drug called Suboxone and it changed my life. It blocks withdrawals from opiates and its mixed with naloxone (Narcan) so it cannot be abused or get you high or make you feel good at all. I did treatment while I was in there and really got ahold of my addiction.
After I got out of prison, the ex-wife still refused to let me see or talk to my daughter, added with trying to adjust to regular life again, I attempted to end my life by overdose the second time. My daughter is my everything; she is my reason to live. I feel she is the one thing in this world that I’ve done right. I was a stay-at-home-dad her entire life up until her mother took her away from me. So I spent every waking moment with my princess. She was and still is, A daddie’s girl. I just wanted to add that for context as to why I felt the need to end it all. When they found me I was barely breathing and by the time they got me to the hospital, they had to intubate. Shortly after they placed me on the ventilator, my heart went out of rhythm for the first time. They were able to shock it back. The current hospital I was at, could not handle the level of care I required so they called and I was to be air lifted to the nearest trauma center. It’s my understanding that as soon as they loaded me into the helicopter, my heart stopped. I was told they then had to remove me from the chopper and perform CPR for 18 min on the helipad and shock my heart 4 times to get me back. Then I was finally air lifted. I was placed on life support for a total of 7 days. While I was in the hospital, I guess they called my ex-wife because she was still listed as my emergency contact and we were still technically married, our divorce had not been finalized yet. They told her that she should bring my daughter up to see me if she wished to have her see me alive for the last time. They gave me a 15% chance of survival. She told me that she brought my daughter up to say goodbye but I don’t know if it’s true or not. But, I ended up pulling through, I’m here. My ex now understands the gravity of not allowing me to see or speak to my daughter so I do get to FaceTime her (instead of visitation due to COVID-19), my mental health is doing better as a result. I have since stopped taking Suboxone (I graduated, meaning I was slowly weaned off of it) and I am completely drug free. I do have Suboxone for breakthrough cravings, but I’ve never had to use them. If you read all the way through, thank you for taking the time and reading my story. In the end, I wish I would’ve just dealt with the pain from the accident to begin with. My life would’ve turned out completely different if I had. But I can’t look at the past, I just have to keep moving forward!
--
BoraxSnorlax
2 years ago
|
pl
Comment Hidden (
show
)
Report
2
2
See that’s the thing. I feel like the way doctors prescribe them is how so many fall to addiction. They increased your dosage. That’s the biggest trap in my opinion. They do it because you develop a tolerance. Before you know it, your dosage is so high you’re physically addicted because you can’t stop without being bedridden with withdrawal. I’ve been taking the same dose (15mg/day) for almost 8 years now. I’ll admit, I’m not listening to my doctor which many would see as reckless. Usually when I get my refill, I’ll take 1/3 of the pills and put them away for future emergencies. Then I take them until I run out of the other 2/3. This means I have to go without for about 10 days a month. I get by with lots of tylenol, water, and exercise. It’s not fun some days with the pain but I’ve managed to avoid a tolerance this way. I’ve been wanting to explain to my doctor that this could potentially be a good plan for other long-term pain patients but I’m worried he’ll scrutinize me for doing my own thing with my medication. I’m terribly sorry to hear about your struggles. I know it can be extremely difficult for some people. Unfortunately for my case, my pain has not gone away in all these years and my doctors don’t have any other options for me besides getting in better shape which has been my big struggle in life. I don’t get addicted to drugs, I am addicted to food. I just hope that once I can finally conquer my weight problem my pain will get better.