I totally get what you're saying and I agree with you. My main issue is just the way he reacts to this. I don't think he needs to just accept me for who I am if that isn't the kind of person who makes him happy. But I also don't think he should make it sound like I'm just horrible and demand that I change myself as quickly as possible. He makes it sound like it should be so easy, but it's just not.
I do agree with you though, I need to learn to change if I ever want to be in a comfortable relationship with someone.
Glad you didnt take it personal, I meant it as advice and not as criticism. I agree that he shouldnt make it sound horrible and demand that you change, BUT if its something that has been ongoing, say 6-8 months or a year, he may be getting sick of it. Trust me only from my experience that someone who is like this in social situations makes it frustrating for others, esp significant others, because the behavior of that person reflects on the significant other, AND again from my experience it gets very old very quickly to have to "hold the hand" of the person you are dating regarding introductions and interactions in social situations as well.
You seem as if you would have plenty to say just from your typing and wording here, try to translate that to social situations. Its nowhere near as hard as you think it would be, AND the more situations you engage in the easier it gets to be.
I also just read another of your comments from above regarding unemployment and house cleaning and I have to say that reminds me of myself as well. I also dated yet another person whom I ended up living with for almost 4 years, and she didnt think housework or cleaning was very important as well, and while it is earth shakingly important, it does need to get done on a regular basis WITHOUT waiting until the last minute. So I can kinda understand his frustration regarding that somewhat. It seems to me his overall problem is that he wants you to be more proactive in general. More proactive regarding a career, more proactive with chores, and more proactive with your people skills.
Try it out, its really not that hard at all. And once you see that it isnt hard you will be so relieved and feel so silly that you were so intimidated by it as well.
Is it normal that he's embarrassed of me?
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I totally get what you're saying and I agree with you. My main issue is just the way he reacts to this. I don't think he needs to just accept me for who I am if that isn't the kind of person who makes him happy. But I also don't think he should make it sound like I'm just horrible and demand that I change myself as quickly as possible. He makes it sound like it should be so easy, but it's just not.
I do agree with you though, I need to learn to change if I ever want to be in a comfortable relationship with someone.
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Glad you didnt take it personal, I meant it as advice and not as criticism. I agree that he shouldnt make it sound horrible and demand that you change, BUT if its something that has been ongoing, say 6-8 months or a year, he may be getting sick of it. Trust me only from my experience that someone who is like this in social situations makes it frustrating for others, esp significant others, because the behavior of that person reflects on the significant other, AND again from my experience it gets very old very quickly to have to "hold the hand" of the person you are dating regarding introductions and interactions in social situations as well.
You seem as if you would have plenty to say just from your typing and wording here, try to translate that to social situations. Its nowhere near as hard as you think it would be, AND the more situations you engage in the easier it gets to be.
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I also just read another of your comments from above regarding unemployment and house cleaning and I have to say that reminds me of myself as well. I also dated yet another person whom I ended up living with for almost 4 years, and she didnt think housework or cleaning was very important as well, and while it is earth shakingly important, it does need to get done on a regular basis WITHOUT waiting until the last minute. So I can kinda understand his frustration regarding that somewhat. It seems to me his overall problem is that he wants you to be more proactive in general. More proactive regarding a career, more proactive with chores, and more proactive with your people skills.
Try it out, its really not that hard at all. And once you see that it isnt hard you will be so relieved and feel so silly that you were so intimidated by it as well.
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*it ISNT earth shakingly important I meant.