IIN that girls seem to want either your; dick, brain, balls or money?

Since you want to play grammar and punctuation Nazi:

'As for wanting to "bang dudes", no where in this article...'

Nowhere is a single word.

'As such, let's not scapegoat my disappointment with the current female specimen with an alternative that simply doesn't address the discontent.'

This sentence is a mess, and your use of "scapegoat" makes it gibberish. The only way it makes some sense is if "scapegoat" is replaced with "confuse". "Simply" is redundant and weakens the sentence. "As such" is borderline unnecessary in the context, and it's a phrase that should be avoided if one doesn't wish to come across as a pompous ass. "Let's" is the contraction of "let us"; its use here is unnecessary verbiage that adds to the pomposity of the statement. "You" would convey the intended meaning and be much more direct.

'Lastly, males that take care of their hygiene far better than females do (typically trans or gays (completely hairless and far more beautiful than females despite not being able to know they in fact have penises) are very much on my radar.'

Two opening parentheses, but only one closing parenthesis. In stylistic terms, long parenthetical comments should be avoided; it's better to rephrase and create separate sentences. "In fact" is missing a comma before and after.

'So I'm just beating the drum here and telling females to step up and dispense of the notion that they're necessary for the future, because with their current track record. They're not.'

"Dispense of" is non-standard usage; "dispense with" is correct. You should have used a comma rather than a period following "record".

'Prove me wrong hags.'

Comma missing following "wrong".

You’re spewing out brain farts and trying to correct someone with horrid americanised spelling.

🤣

I’m actually British so realise would be the correct spelling for me, same as how color/colour is spelled differently depending on whether you’re from the US or UK. But either way, my parents taught me not to be mean to retarded people so I’m not going to say anything rude to you.

Poniendo palabras de otras lenguajes dentro de su habla no te hace parecer inteligente. Decida a una lenguaje y lo use. También, me perde para mis pobre gramática, por estoy aprendiendo, y no estoy muy bién aún.