Is it normal that death turns me on~?

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11 Comments

To start my story, let me say that I am suicidal. Not like in the "actually gonna do it" way, more like the "I go to it constantly in my head and rationalize it all the time" kinda way. It takes an unreasonable amount of stress before I actually go off and do something, except if its sexual.

I am a true switch. I can go either way, dominant or submissive. And I can be like that for quite a long time without needing the other. That being said, I am aroused by both the idea of dying and killing.

I really truly love Dolcett stuff. I imagine submissives that just beg to be killed by me. I also imagine myself like that. I have had an extended fantasy where I transform my body into something more transexual so I am attractive enough for people to want to kill and eat me~~<3

Though an important note. I do have a part of me that would love to do this against someones will, but if I was ACTUALLY going to do this, I would drill the person for quite a while to make sure I ain't committing a terrible mistake. And I know that if I was a bit better trained that I would absolutely love being the "victim" myself~~

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Comments ( 11 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • shuggy-chan
    9 years ago | pl

    Would you fuck me? I'd Fuck me. I'd Fuck me hard

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago | pl

      It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again.

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      • i3ear
        9 years ago | pl

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CQokgv0dQw&feature=kp

        It puts the lotion in the ~fucking~ basket~~

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    • i3ear
      9 years ago | pl

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CQokgv0dQw&feature=kp

      I have a little dog too~~

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago | pl

    Super awkward boner attack.....

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    • i3ear
      9 years ago | pl

      xD I ain't gonna pop a stiffy at a funeral. Though if I did get a boner it would be more offensive than awkward.

      Like if someone was killed in front of me.....

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago | pl

    I just looked at this so called art you're so fond of, what of a bunch of stupid garbage! No one in their right mind would submit to that bullshit and someone who is sick enough to want it is not healthy enough to consent. If you act on your fantasies I sincerely hope that you get caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law!

    I wouldn't be surprised if you're already a convicted sex offender. Please seek psychiatric help!

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    • i3ear
      9 years ago | pl

      Your the kind of person that makes me want to kill myself.

      The kind of person that i know if I met in real life you would do every last thing in your power to make sure that I am either dead or completly alone for the rest of my life

      the kind of person that convinces me that not only do I not deserve happiness but I don't even deserve acknowledgement

      you make me want to kill myself

      By the way, I want to be the one submitting and getting cut up and being killed. How does that fit into your judgement? Are you going to tell me that "I deserve it" and "your death would make everyone around you happy"? C'mon what am I gonna do? kill myself? Hahahahahahahahahah!

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      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago | pl

        Well, that's what looking at that bullshit does, it rots your brain! I'm not responsible for your suicidal feelings, and no one can "make you" feel anything. You bring it on yourself by looking at that garbage that poisons your mind. Please seek out the psychiatric treatment you so desperately need and stop blaming others for what you're doing to your own self.

        If you feel like hurting yourself or killing yourself please pick up the phone and call 911!

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    • 21tulpa
      4 years ago | pl

      Honestly I would say that hurt my feelings but nah... I don't think anny of us need help...
      I know how loonie ppl act and you.. You don't have a fucking clue...
      That's only one person, what about the millions out there waiting for you to accidentally knock at their door?.... If I were you I'd be asking questions..
      You've met two of us already. Who says you won't meet more?

      One in every hundred ppl you've met so far is one of us.. And if you added them up into groups of hundreds only one in each group are aware of what they are.

      Be fucking happy that we know of what we are and we know what right and wrong is.(most don't).
      It's not like we can get help...since it's living with 2 faces..most of the ppl that aren't aware are the ones who don't fight back on their compulsion and act...being sadistic monsters..and they think it's okay..it's not about submissive/dominaint it's the fact the our brain is malformed you can't fix that..the sight of blood turn our soul's on and nothing else can.,
      Even if you don't possibly think so It's painful to be fucking crazy and the worst part is to be aware of it (knowing something's wrong with you and that you'll never fit in).....We have to go through a lot of paint, trauma, abuse and if you think it's happy ending after that?,no..it comes with a price were the psychi is destroyed and the nervous system fails to process information..ppl born like that manage to keep going by shutting down emotionally until---that happens(the point of this argument),most normal ppl that get that commit suicide because of the fear and pain..psychopaths don't kill ppl they kill themselves there's 12 types of serial killers out there and only 1 is due to phycosis.
      By the way---

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  • 21tulpa
    4 years ago | pl

    Ok... I know that isn't normal.. But I also know that I am one of those ppl that are like that.
    I find it almost impossible too eat without some sort of Gore.. I'm apathetic and I can't remember the last time I felt hungry or tired actually I don't remember shit all the time) (, my stomach just burns and my eyes fall for no fucking reason (that's what I feel instead).... ive stopped feeling happy (like a normal human does),the only thing I feel is anger and sadness.. The only thing that revives my everything is death, killing, and Gore (i catch myself skill ng in enjoyment of others suffering..i like seeing ppl fall so they can be reminded who's above them)
    My nerve system has failed me, I get random convulsion,twitches and cracks ... I am well aware of my problems but I just can't heal.. Part of me won't let me get help..i want to but I'm not the host here.. Ppl think it isn't normal for me to talk to my other sides but I'm only negotiating with my sides not to kill them.. They should feel greatfull
    My freinds(no,I manipulate them)call me sadist,strangers call me sweet(that's what I want them to think)
    ,And close real fried (no 's).. Calls me grey (idk what that/he was until recently...and I still get pissed cause annas fucking stupid (use him)..no actually she calls me crazy nugut and unstable putta...

    But yeah probably you've once had a state when you lost your fucking mind for a few seconds and laughed like a lunatic with no sence of human common... If not... Then I'm not sure were you fall but it's not a secret that you went through some kind of childhood trauma or you would feel too self cobsious to put this down here.
    PS I have pure O ect the list goes on... But that's my main concern so far

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