Is it normal that beautiful people make me feel extremely dejected

I am a female. I would consider myself to be not that attractive by normal standards and it seems that everyone else is alot more confident and driven compared to me. It doesn't help that I suffer from really low self esteem which is never evident from my looks (although I dress feminine)

I think I am a sufferer in loving beautiful people, especially men (because I understand them more than women) and it really makes me sad when I realise that sometimes I can seem abit creepy in the way I admire them. I guess some people would call another version of this "fan girling" only that for myself, I usually am aware that I never might be in their lives. This usually leads me to isolation and admiring from afar instead.

I sometimes wonder why it is that beauty can be so blinding it can make you so obsessive to a point you crave attention from the person you are admiring...yet at the same time anything negative that they say can affect you deeply?

I found out the other day about the halo effect and how looks can be deceiving. Sadly I seem to be somewhat of a victim of this type of thing.

Does anyone feel so disctracted by beauty to a point you start to dispise people "as a whole" and avoid socialising because you know in most cases they come across as intimidating and ruin your confidence?

If so how servere is it?