Wait so having friends is a bad thing? Here I thought being a lonely friendless hermit was unhealthy. Also I am not the one who keep trying to get back together. I made it clear we were "Broken up" every time.
But did you make it clear with your...you-know-what? Sorry to be blunt, but if you keep doing things that people do not do who are "just friends" (which you are lying to yourself and her/him? if you think you are, yet are still being physical and intimate), s/he will think you are *not* "broken up" because of your actions.
I have to assume you're male, because females usually equate sex with love, especially if they're desperate to keep a relationship - because that's they only way the guy will keep doing something with her that seems like they're still in a relationship.
I think you know what mixed signals are, and whether or not you are sending them "everytime" you "come to visit" AFTER "breaking up."
You said stop using them for friendship. Also I am not the one who wants to get back together every-time they are. I keep trying and its not working. Its worked before I don't understand why it backfired this time. Usually "We are done" means "We are done" but apparently they are too thick to understand it. I could be a total jerk to them too and they wont get it either. Also I said I wanted to break up the "RELATIONSHIP" not the "FRIENDSHIP". If that was not clear yet. I am surprised you believe friendship is a bad thing.
I'll try to make it clear, because you keep avoiding this particular part of my reasoning...
Answer this question:
ARE YOU HAVING SEXUAL OR PHYSICAL RELATIONS WITH YOUR "FRIEND"?
If the answer is "Yes", you are leading them on and not making it clear to them you are broken up, regardless of whether or not you have "said" it or "made it clear."
If the answer is "No", then I don't see the problem. Probably because the answer is "Yes." Is it not? You haven't denied it, you just keep not addressing that point.
Before you reply to this, go back to the question I put in all caps. Again, you don't have to admit or restate it here, but only you know the truth. I'll rephrase it in another context: Do you do more than you do with, say, your friends of the same sex who you are not attracted to, but have a FRIENDSHIP with? If the answer to that is "Yes", that's the end of the flow chart.
You want advice as to how to let them know it's over?
STOP EFFING THEM. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but that's the truth.
Maybe your question should be something like, how do you let them know the relationship is over but you still want to be friends while having benefits with them and not having them be attached? Is that what you really want to know?
IIN stuck in a relationship that not sure I want to break up?
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Wait so having friends is a bad thing? Here I thought being a lonely friendless hermit was unhealthy. Also I am not the one who keep trying to get back together. I made it clear we were "Broken up" every time.
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ifonlyuknew247
9 years ago
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But did you make it clear with your...you-know-what? Sorry to be blunt, but if you keep doing things that people do not do who are "just friends" (which you are lying to yourself and her/him? if you think you are, yet are still being physical and intimate), s/he will think you are *not* "broken up" because of your actions.
I have to assume you're male, because females usually equate sex with love, especially if they're desperate to keep a relationship - because that's they only way the guy will keep doing something with her that seems like they're still in a relationship.
I think you know what mixed signals are, and whether or not you are sending them "everytime" you "come to visit" AFTER "breaking up."
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Anonymous Post Author
9 years ago
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You said stop using them for friendship. Also I am not the one who wants to get back together every-time they are. I keep trying and its not working. Its worked before I don't understand why it backfired this time. Usually "We are done" means "We are done" but apparently they are too thick to understand it. I could be a total jerk to them too and they wont get it either. Also I said I wanted to break up the "RELATIONSHIP" not the "FRIENDSHIP". If that was not clear yet. I am surprised you believe friendship is a bad thing.
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ifonlyuknew247
9 years ago
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Hmm...
I'll try to make it clear, because you keep avoiding this particular part of my reasoning...
Answer this question:
ARE YOU HAVING SEXUAL OR PHYSICAL RELATIONS WITH YOUR "FRIEND"?
If the answer is "Yes", you are leading them on and not making it clear to them you are broken up, regardless of whether or not you have "said" it or "made it clear."
If the answer is "No", then I don't see the problem. Probably because the answer is "Yes." Is it not? You haven't denied it, you just keep not addressing that point.
Before you reply to this, go back to the question I put in all caps. Again, you don't have to admit or restate it here, but only you know the truth. I'll rephrase it in another context: Do you do more than you do with, say, your friends of the same sex who you are not attracted to, but have a FRIENDSHIP with? If the answer to that is "Yes", that's the end of the flow chart.
You want advice as to how to let them know it's over?
STOP EFFING THEM. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but that's the truth.
Maybe your question should be something like, how do you let them know the relationship is over but you still want to be friends while having benefits with them and not having them be attached? Is that what you really want to know?
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J0hnQpubl1c
9 years ago
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Ah, the sharp sword of wit, tempered with truth. You seem to have gotten to the bones of the matter.