As slowlymovingfast says, there's no schedule for the grieving process, and you can't expect what you experience to neatly follow the Kübler-Ross five stages model.
Things will get better if you allow them to, but it's possible your experience has fundamentally changed your outlook on life in ways you'll only really understand years from now. I cared for my late wife through her terminal illness until her death more than twelve years ago, and I know that experience changed me.
These days, most people in Western countries are insulated from death. People who haven't experienced something similar to what you did really can't relate to it, and they really don't want to think about it too much. So don't be surprised if you soon start to get messages - direct and subtle - from your friends that you should be moving on.
It seems to me the best you can do is acknowledge that there's a hole in your life, accept that it will always be there, and try to build a new life around that hole. What happened to your boyfriend is truly shitty and what you've been through is total crap, but you have a life to live, and you have the right to search for happiness.
Give it time. Four months on, you're still processing a very traumatic event. Don't feel bad about that, but try to focus on the positive things in your life.
IIN still grieving death of boyfriend 4 months later?
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As slowlymovingfast says, there's no schedule for the grieving process, and you can't expect what you experience to neatly follow the Kübler-Ross five stages model.
Things will get better if you allow them to, but it's possible your experience has fundamentally changed your outlook on life in ways you'll only really understand years from now. I cared for my late wife through her terminal illness until her death more than twelve years ago, and I know that experience changed me.
These days, most people in Western countries are insulated from death. People who haven't experienced something similar to what you did really can't relate to it, and they really don't want to think about it too much. So don't be surprised if you soon start to get messages - direct and subtle - from your friends that you should be moving on.
It seems to me the best you can do is acknowledge that there's a hole in your life, accept that it will always be there, and try to build a new life around that hole. What happened to your boyfriend is truly shitty and what you've been through is total crap, but you have a life to live, and you have the right to search for happiness.
Give it time. Four months on, you're still processing a very traumatic event. Don't feel bad about that, but try to focus on the positive things in your life.
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EnglishLad
5 years ago
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Slowlymovingfast
5 years ago
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Perfect comment Boojum.
Well Said!
A much wiser man than me once said.
"You shouldn't be the same person you were after you lose a person you care deeply for"