It's an interesting mix for me. I'm almost always willing to be open about my personal beliefs because I genuinely don't care if people dislike them - in fact, there's only one belief I have which I'm not entirely open about because I know it would affect the way some people see me (which might seem odd as it's a belief you, I and others here share but I support extremely radically). I would have felt comfortable talking about it in the past (and I have done), but I don't anymore.
My external personality is something that's more difficult for me to put here; certainly I find it harder than I once did. I find it harder to be entirely honest about the things I like and dislike, for example.
Another concern I have is that I've become more and more worried about people I know in "real life" finding me on IIN. When I was first commenting on IIN one of the things I loved most about it was that I could write anything, especially the stuff I wouldn't want people in "real life" to know. Now I'm getting closer toward the opposite... what if someone finds me on IIN, trawls through my comments and finds out things I'd be uncomfortable with getting out? What if I said something that made people here turn against me? What if I didn't feel safe here anymore? Sometimes those are very real, immediate feeling worries, other times they're not even in the back of my mind. Like you I feel I'm getting better at the moment, but there's no doubt I'll get worse again in the future. So much of my life feels like it goes in cycles - I don't know if that's just the human tendency to see patterns in nothing or whether life really does repeat itself.
I'm very grateful for the fact that there's private messages now, it makes everything so much easier. The ability to easily communicate privately is a blessing, even though there's few people I use it with. The worries I sometimes find myself having about IIN can be summed up as me having "trust issues", which I definitely do. That means that the vast amount of what I can trust to one person I can trust publicly too, but having private messages is really great for when you need them :)
Argh, I'm so curious about what you're extremely radical about! Damn you, dom!:P
I doubt someone will spot you from real life. And even if they do, if they do trawl through all your comments, well there's nothing you can do about it really. Unless you delete every single one of your comments, which I wouldn't recommend.:P To me, it seems pointless worrying about it, because worrying about it is hardly going to stop it from happening. Not that it would anyway. It would be highly unlikely. Sorry, I'm not the best at reassuring people:P.
I know you're not at all the judgmental type, so I'll consider it. Heehee... maybe I'll tell you, sometime. Maybe ;P
Yeah, you're right. Worrying about what you can't control never solved anything. It's silly of me to worry, when I do worry about it :) Deleting my comments would be a huge over-reaction, you're right :P
Grr! You shouldn't tease me like this, you bastard:P! Argh, damn curiosity. Now I'm going to be wondering what this mystery belief is. Hmm. You're not a Nazi or something are you?:P
Is it normal sometimes I want to tell you my name?
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It's an interesting mix for me. I'm almost always willing to be open about my personal beliefs because I genuinely don't care if people dislike them - in fact, there's only one belief I have which I'm not entirely open about because I know it would affect the way some people see me (which might seem odd as it's a belief you, I and others here share but I support extremely radically). I would have felt comfortable talking about it in the past (and I have done), but I don't anymore.
My external personality is something that's more difficult for me to put here; certainly I find it harder than I once did. I find it harder to be entirely honest about the things I like and dislike, for example.
Another concern I have is that I've become more and more worried about people I know in "real life" finding me on IIN. When I was first commenting on IIN one of the things I loved most about it was that I could write anything, especially the stuff I wouldn't want people in "real life" to know. Now I'm getting closer toward the opposite... what if someone finds me on IIN, trawls through my comments and finds out things I'd be uncomfortable with getting out? What if I said something that made people here turn against me? What if I didn't feel safe here anymore? Sometimes those are very real, immediate feeling worries, other times they're not even in the back of my mind. Like you I feel I'm getting better at the moment, but there's no doubt I'll get worse again in the future. So much of my life feels like it goes in cycles - I don't know if that's just the human tendency to see patterns in nothing or whether life really does repeat itself.
I'm very grateful for the fact that there's private messages now, it makes everything so much easier. The ability to easily communicate privately is a blessing, even though there's few people I use it with. The worries I sometimes find myself having about IIN can be summed up as me having "trust issues", which I definitely do. That means that the vast amount of what I can trust to one person I can trust publicly too, but having private messages is really great for when you need them :)
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bananaface
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Argh, I'm so curious about what you're extremely radical about! Damn you, dom!:P
I doubt someone will spot you from real life. And even if they do, if they do trawl through all your comments, well there's nothing you can do about it really. Unless you delete every single one of your comments, which I wouldn't recommend.:P To me, it seems pointless worrying about it, because worrying about it is hardly going to stop it from happening. Not that it would anyway. It would be highly unlikely. Sorry, I'm not the best at reassuring people:P.
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dom180
10 years ago
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I know you're not at all the judgmental type, so I'll consider it. Heehee... maybe I'll tell you, sometime. Maybe ;P
Yeah, you're right. Worrying about what you can't control never solved anything. It's silly of me to worry, when I do worry about it :) Deleting my comments would be a huge over-reaction, you're right :P
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bananaface
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Grr! You shouldn't tease me like this, you bastard:P! Argh, damn curiosity. Now I'm going to be wondering what this mystery belief is. Hmm. You're not a Nazi or something are you?:P
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dom180
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Oh God no, at least I don't think so. I'm about to drop you a PM :P