You said it all here..."I decided I wanted to become friends out of work", "I was the one who messaged", "I invited her to hang", "I demanded to know". True friendship is a 2 way street. The only person seeing the relationship as a friendship here was you. There is a big difference between being friends and being work acquaintances. She is obviously a decent person if she sent a long response explaining why your coworker relationship would not translate into a friendship from her side. As for why? Sometimes it just is. We don't get to meet someone and say "I have decided you will now be my friend". Don't be hurt - just be the person you'd like to be friends with! Likes attract likes :)))
All correct however, few points to add;
She continued conversation & we got along extremely well, also if I wasn't that interesting or likeable to her then why talk lots about me to her bf.
.. He obviously heard a lot of good about me the way he said it and you dont just talk about someone a lot for the hell of it unless they were on your mind ?
As an acquaintance she met through work you ARE likeable and interesting but she doesn't want to be friends. She didn't talk about you lots to her BF She mentioned you were a work colleague paying her attention. The BF telling you he knew all about you or had heard about you is his way of telling you that his GF hadn't kept you a secret. It's like if someone said to him 'you should put pine nuts in your salads. Here's a packet of pine nuts' his response would be 'oh thanks I've heard lots about that. They're supposed to be good. Hello pine nuts!' She is polite. He is polite. They have a trusting loving relationship with each other. End of.
Right...I see.
Just for the record- They didn't have as an amazing relationship as you think. They aren't even together anymore. She was always mono anyway which used to ruin my buzz. Her loss in the end any how.
I was reading through before I posted but I was going to say it could have been her bf that felt threatened by you. Are you male? And the letter was to spare your feelings.
I've dated guys in the past that tried to be controlling about who I was friends with. It was usually because they thought I would like the other guy better and leave them. In reality I left all of them for other reasons and all my friends are guys and always will be.
*edit. I just read that you were a girl. My story still stands. Maybe he was just jealous about her making a new friend and she talked about you so much.
Im a girl and yes I wish that were the case- like I would like to believe that's the reason why but I'll never truly know! Which sucks :/
Then again I went and messaged him after not hearing from her for ages to see if he knew anything as to why she wasn't talking to me. He told me he didn't & that he'd find out. Finally after few weeks, she replies to me! I feel he did talk and encourage her to talk to me....
I don't want to sound lame or gay but she used to give me big smiles, like we would look at each other sometimes and she'd have this big gorgeous smile :)
I felt she really did like me as a person otherwise she wouldn't feel the urge to do this. I didn't notice her doing this with others either..
IIN she randomly didn't want to know me anymore? :(
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You said it all here..."I decided I wanted to become friends out of work", "I was the one who messaged", "I invited her to hang", "I demanded to know". True friendship is a 2 way street. The only person seeing the relationship as a friendship here was you. There is a big difference between being friends and being work acquaintances. She is obviously a decent person if she sent a long response explaining why your coworker relationship would not translate into a friendship from her side. As for why? Sometimes it just is. We don't get to meet someone and say "I have decided you will now be my friend". Don't be hurt - just be the person you'd like to be friends with! Likes attract likes :)))
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Anonymous Post Author
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All correct however, few points to add;
She continued conversation & we got along extremely well, also if I wasn't that interesting or likeable to her then why talk lots about me to her bf.
.. He obviously heard a lot of good about me the way he said it and you dont just talk about someone a lot for the hell of it unless they were on your mind ?
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Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously
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As an acquaintance she met through work you ARE likeable and interesting but she doesn't want to be friends. She didn't talk about you lots to her BF She mentioned you were a work colleague paying her attention. The BF telling you he knew all about you or had heard about you is his way of telling you that his GF hadn't kept you a secret. It's like if someone said to him 'you should put pine nuts in your salads. Here's a packet of pine nuts' his response would be 'oh thanks I've heard lots about that. They're supposed to be good. Hello pine nuts!' She is polite. He is polite. They have a trusting loving relationship with each other. End of.
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Right...I see.
Just for the record- They didn't have as an amazing relationship as you think. They aren't even together anymore. She was always mono anyway which used to ruin my buzz. Her loss in the end any how.
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Bake34
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Lifeistooshorttotakeseriously
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I was reading through before I posted but I was going to say it could have been her bf that felt threatened by you. Are you male? And the letter was to spare your feelings.
I've dated guys in the past that tried to be controlling about who I was friends with. It was usually because they thought I would like the other guy better and leave them. In reality I left all of them for other reasons and all my friends are guys and always will be.
*edit. I just read that you were a girl. My story still stands. Maybe he was just jealous about her making a new friend and she talked about you so much.
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Im a girl and yes I wish that were the case- like I would like to believe that's the reason why but I'll never truly know! Which sucks :/
Then again I went and messaged him after not hearing from her for ages to see if he knew anything as to why she wasn't talking to me. He told me he didn't & that he'd find out. Finally after few weeks, she replies to me! I feel he did talk and encourage her to talk to me....
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I don't want to sound lame or gay but she used to give me big smiles, like we would look at each other sometimes and she'd have this big gorgeous smile :)
I felt she really did like me as a person otherwise she wouldn't feel the urge to do this. I didn't notice her doing this with others either..
It is indeed her loss. You seem like a very compassionate and dedicated person. I wish you all the best and hope you find who you are looking for. :)
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Thanks I appreciate that! Not many seem to think so, otherwise they would have stuck around :/