She seems to think that going through a hard time is an acceptable excuse for bringing others down to make herself feel better.
Are you backing down when she uses the same excuse? It can be hard pushing ahead with a confrontation with someone when you feel they're already down, but you need to explain to her that it makes it harder for you to support her when she treats you and others like that.
Is it normal she makes indirect comments to feel superior?
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She seems to think that going through a hard time is an acceptable excuse for bringing others down to make herself feel better.
Are you backing down when she uses the same excuse? It can be hard pushing ahead with a confrontation with someone when you feel they're already down, but you need to explain to her that it makes it harder for you to support her when she treats you and others like that.