IIN people preferring biological over adopted kids makes me angry?

You are viewing a single comment's thread.

↑ View this comment's parent

← View full post
Comments ( 3 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • You bring up some good points, but I feel as though you are projecting quite a lot.
    I actually did address my feelings on how I feel if someone would like to experience pregnancy and achieves that, and that it is wonderful.
    I still think that if you find yourself pregnant and are financially, emotionally, and/or otherwise unready to have a child you should probably abort it, rather than HAVE the child and put it up for adoption where it will grow up in the same conditions I was very, very mercifully rescued from. OR, in the other scenario, keep a child they didn't want, in a situation in which it cannot be properly taken care of because no one was ready. I don't know why you assume I'm saying people should abort it and immediately adopt a child afterwards.
    During the adoption process, I would not urge anyone to consider a child 'theirs' until after the adoption process is complete anyway, since unfortunately other people have attempted to adopt and odd international laws have interrupted the process halfway through.
    I also don't know why you think that I think that we should kill off unexpected twins and triplets? I honestly do not understand your assumptions.

    I think you're missing the other alternatives that people go to before adoption.
    Want a child but can't get pregnant? IVF!
    Want a child but don't want pregnancy? Surrogate!
    There are other roads besides pregnancy and adoption.

    However I do agree that I am very harsh on the choice of biological children. I feel guilty about it a lot. I know that it's no excuse, but I live in an area where people are very very poorly educated on safe sex and a lot of kids get knocked up by pure virtue of ignorance. It's so sad to see.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
      -
    • I suppose I misunderstood. It sounded like what you were indicating was that any unintended children were best suited for the chopping block, which is why I extrapolated about the multiple births ("I'm also more angry that people keep surprise pregnancies or put them up for adoption.."). I'm sure that there are many couples that perhaps are not planning for a child, but nonetheless welcome the addition to the family, and it grows up loved and hopefully, not even knowing that they were a 'mistake'. I am also sure that there are many adults, well adjusted and happy, that when their parents found out they were pregnant, had no idea how on earth they would afford said child, and yet managed to, and to even love the child. Not every unintentional child winds up aborted or up for adoption. I'm sure that there are many people who find that they have to grow up in a hurry because they are pregnant. Not the best alternative, but I find it more than a little messed up to imply that all unintended children that are kept by their parents are doomed to a sad and pitiful existence. Additionally, saying, "I'm also more angry that people keep surprise pregnancies or put them up for adoption.." implies that as an adopted child, you think it would have been preferable to be aborted? Yes, many children flounder in orphanages and foster care, but do you think that they all would have preferred nonexistence? Maybe you didn't intend your question to sound that way, but in reading your question only, that is what it seems like you are implying. I wasn't saying that parents in the process of or attempting to adopt a child shouldn't view a child as their own, I think that they definitely should (at least in domestic adoptions, I know that foreign adoptions can unexpectedly fall through), and it would probably be impossible to avoid, but what you seemed to imply was that any adults considering expanding their family should be thinking of children in foster care and the adoption pool as 'theirs', and you seem to think that they have some sort of responsibility, and ought to feel some sort of attachment towards them. They don't, any more than they have any responsibility and attachment towards any other individual they don't know. It's like you're looking to redistribute children. I understand where your opinion comes from, it's not as though it's insane or irrational, given your life experiences, but, and it's really more of a BUT- what you're saying really does make you sound like a twisted fascist.

      I'm assuming that you're female. Given that you seem to live with and socialize a great deal with your parents, I suspect that you are a teenager, but I would be interested to find out how old you are. I would also be interested to learn how you feel about the subject when you're nearing 30 and your biological impulses may be overriding your current moral stance.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
        -
      • I still think you're projecting too much. I am female, but I'm in my early twenties.

        Regarding "Yes, many children flounder in orphanages and foster care, but do you think that they all would have preferred nonexistence?"
        I don't think you understand what it can do to a psyche to feel as though you weren't meant to exist in one of the most the most basic and important ways most people were.

        Comment Hidden ( show )