Everyone has their own abstract ideas about how life should be run based on what works for them, and since everyone is different everyone is going to give you different answers when you ask. When it comes to these abstract ideas, don't simply choose the advice with the greatest consensus. If you go with popular opinion, you risk running with advice which doesn't work for you.
Choose advice which makes sense for you, either on an intellectual level or a gut instinct level. You have to be confident in dismissing advice which you don't like. Doing that requires knowing what works for you, and knowing that requires knowing what sort of values you want to lead your life according to (which I think is where most people fall down).
Solution: think a lot about what sort of person you want to be, without relying on other people to tell you what sort of person to be. You can use role models to help you visualize personal values if you want, but the key thing is finding the values for yourself. Finding values is a combination of you choosing them and them choosing you, and it's a process that continues your whole life. There are very many values you might find: utilitarianism, modesty, respect, individualism, DIY ethics, cynicism, positivity, confidence, stoicism, superficiality, social responsibility, proactivity... etc. There are no right or wrong answers, but the key is finding which ones you like personally without having them forced on you.
When you have formed your own coherent set of values, choosing which advice works for you becomes easy because you can dismiss advice which contradicts your values. Working example: I dismiss the "happiness comes when you least expect it" advice because it contradicts my personal value of proactivity, but other people might accept that advice because it is compatible with their personal value of stoic calmness.
----------------
I also think that even with a coherent set of values most advice is context specific. Living in the moment is good advice when you're happy, and looking to the future is good advice when you're sad. Advice doesn't have universal application; you have to know where and when to use it. Most advice other people give you is to try and make your happy in your current state, and you should dispense of their advice when your context changes.
Is it normal people give contradictory advice?
← View full post
Everyone has their own abstract ideas about how life should be run based on what works for them, and since everyone is different everyone is going to give you different answers when you ask. When it comes to these abstract ideas, don't simply choose the advice with the greatest consensus. If you go with popular opinion, you risk running with advice which doesn't work for you.
Choose advice which makes sense for you, either on an intellectual level or a gut instinct level. You have to be confident in dismissing advice which you don't like. Doing that requires knowing what works for you, and knowing that requires knowing what sort of values you want to lead your life according to (which I think is where most people fall down).
Solution: think a lot about what sort of person you want to be, without relying on other people to tell you what sort of person to be. You can use role models to help you visualize personal values if you want, but the key thing is finding the values for yourself. Finding values is a combination of you choosing them and them choosing you, and it's a process that continues your whole life. There are very many values you might find: utilitarianism, modesty, respect, individualism, DIY ethics, cynicism, positivity, confidence, stoicism, superficiality, social responsibility, proactivity... etc. There are no right or wrong answers, but the key is finding which ones you like personally without having them forced on you.
When you have formed your own coherent set of values, choosing which advice works for you becomes easy because you can dismiss advice which contradicts your values. Working example: I dismiss the "happiness comes when you least expect it" advice because it contradicts my personal value of proactivity, but other people might accept that advice because it is compatible with their personal value of stoic calmness.
----------------
I also think that even with a coherent set of values most advice is context specific. Living in the moment is good advice when you're happy, and looking to the future is good advice when you're sad. Advice doesn't have universal application; you have to know where and when to use it. Most advice other people give you is to try and make your happy in your current state, and you should dispense of their advice when your context changes.