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So since I work as a cashier, and say a customer comes in and I can’t tell if they are male or female? Would that be OK to ask them if they’re man or woman? Or would they think I’m being rude?
It's 2019, people get offended if you just say "hello". They also get offended if you don't say anything at all.
Sad but true
Just the other day I held the door open for a lady, who proceeded to call me sexist and that she didn't need no one holding the door open for her, she can do that herself. I literally apologized.
When I got what I needed in the store I walked out, and noticing the same person was behind me, I, well, didn't hold the door open for them, despite the fact that I was taught proper manners. And I heard the person behind me literally say "what an asshole. Can't even hold the door for a lady"
.....
This world confuses the hell out of me anymore.
Maybe just ask every customer their gender. That way you aren't singling anyone out. Also please install a camera by your station because I want to see everyone's reaction when you do this.
Just say, "Excuse me sir, ma'am, it, or whatever gender you are. I cannot tell if you are a man or a woman. Of course there are those weirdo transgenders out there too. Are you one of THOSE things?"
On a serious note - never ask a human being what their gender is. If you cannot tell, then you do not need to know.
But there are those who get offended when others are uncertain.
"Isn't it obvious, I'm a _________!!"
As a transgender myself, I know there is a proper way to handle this -
One smiles and politely corrects them. Getting upset is not going to convince them, but being polite just may. Even if they know, they will typically return respect.
That is unless it is some rude asshole who you can tell is just being malicious. Those people aren't even worth the time nor effort.
That Game Stop film on youtube is NOT the way to handle things.
Why does it matter if they get offended, if you had no intention of respecting them in the first place?
I work at a grocery store and sometimes I have the same problem. I would just say hello and not use sir or ma'am when in doubt.
I actively refuse to use their pronouns. Look like a Male = I'll call you a guy. Looks like a female= I'll call you as such. People of other genders should just wear a sticker or just don't give a shit when people miss gender you.
Just avoid the pronouns, be like hello fellow human or whatever. Be fun about it!
Why is their gender relevant in any way to how you deal with them?
Do you flip between being respectful to men and patronising to women in the few seconds you interact with customers?
You're clearly a very nosy person. Curiosity about the world is generally a good thing, but there are many things you have absolutely no need to know about strangers and you have no right to interrogate them just because you'd like to know.
OP's not "very nosy"; he obviously doesn't know their name, so he doesn't know to address them as sir or mam, and doesn't want to get it wrong.
There are quite basic situations where addressing them will come up when serving them, and calling a woman a man, or a man a woman is quite obviously going to cause offence. OP's probably just trying to avoid that.
I know Americans are big on always using "sir" or "ma'am" as a phoney signal of subservience and respect (usually accompanied by a totally fake smile that never reaches the eyes), but it's really not necessary.
It's not the norm in Britain, and it's possible to have completely friendly, respectful interactions with all sorts of people without ever using either sir or ma'am.
I think it's usually referred to as civility or politeness.
Plus Sir or Mam rolls off the tongue easier than "Woke Gender-obscure Meat Suit".
I'm from Britain...
Gender is how you address someone you don't know even from here. You can say miss or Mrs, or Mr, if you have a personal aversion to sir, but over here we still address unknown people by gender. Also, I've heard plenty of people call me sir who were in retail.
Yes, what this person said. I am not nosy I could care less at the end of the day what gender they are. It’s so I can address them when they come in and not get wrong like he said.
First of all why would you even be concerned what they are? But if you are compelled to butt into someone else's business, just say "did you find everything you were looking for sir?" If they correct you and say that they are a woman, just say sorry and then you have your answer.
When I was young I was chubby/fat. One day when I was around 12 or 13 yo I was in a public pool and a girl asked my why I wasn't wearing a top (bathing suit). I still remember the humiliation. I dint reply.
If it was at a social event yeah that's normal. But not when you're on the job.
What's the point of asking a customer about their gender? Like why do you need to know that?? You basically just say hello and ask them if they want their reciept. Must be an american ms- or mr-thing. You guys always seem to have to use these terms.
As everyone gets offended these days, dont ask their gender. As what their pronouns are, and that will tell you what gender they are (or arnt)
TBH because you're just interacting with a customer, I wouldn't ask, but if this was the case of a closer relationship, then yeah it is totally normal. Just be respectful and make sure you use correct gendering after you ask (i.e. don't be an asshole and say "haha okay MAN").
I can understand wanting to address them properly, but this is just going to land you in shit, and not help you. Just try and avoid addressing them as much as possible if you can when serving them
Just pick one that seems fitting. If your wrong your wrong and if they get all boo hoo i'M oPprEssEd and shit, promptly laugh your ass off in their face.