Not normal. On IIN, it seems normal, however. Ignore the negative comment above. Pity is not what I feel for you, but empathy. Connecting with others on the Internet in similar situations may help, but really you should reach out to a real person who you can actually see. It can be so isolating and cold sitting behind a computer screen. Find a good counselor, one with whom you feel comfortable. She or he can help you cope with your depression and low self-esteem, whether through therapy and/or meds. There is no shame in this -- time moves too quickly and you shouldn't lose it feeling so badly.
Is it normal not to have it
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Not normal. On IIN, it seems normal, however. Ignore the negative comment above. Pity is not what I feel for you, but empathy. Connecting with others on the Internet in similar situations may help, but really you should reach out to a real person who you can actually see. It can be so isolating and cold sitting behind a computer screen. Find a good counselor, one with whom you feel comfortable. She or he can help you cope with your depression and low self-esteem, whether through therapy and/or meds. There is no shame in this -- time moves too quickly and you shouldn't lose it feeling so badly.