Is it normal my heart feels sad but my life is great

78% Normal

Technically I have so much in this life to be happy about. I have a lovely daughter, I know I am a good mother to her, I have money, a nice house, car, etc. I have no job/career(never had a job) but I am in University & have enough money to pay for everything (inheritance). I am attractive & have decent men pursuing me frequently. I am 25 years of age. I participate in charities. I have traveled around the world. Taken many vacations.
But my heart is so sad. I feel lonely. I feel like crying sometimes. It can be a sudden change from one hour to the next. Crying for 10 minutes, & laughing & excited an hour later. I am very emotional & impulsive. I have already "found God" I was very religious for a while. For 2 years I went atheist & studied religions. Now I've decided my religion & I pray/meditate etc & feel at peace with my existential questions. Although sometimes I feel guilty when I tell lies.

My sadness starts with my thoughts. Over analyzing & thinking too much about love & whether or not I'll ever find someone to marry. I wonder if my parents really love me. I was extremely insecure my whole childhood. I wonder if people like me because I'm pretty & rich & popular & if they would still care if I lost these things. I wonder if I have real friends & if anyone really loves me(aside from my daughter). Sometimes I experiment with this question by dressing really ugly, not wearing makeup, & pretending that I'm a poor student. I feel like I act & think unusually - like a misfit. In the end, I believe I have real friends, but a certain closeness is lacking -the sort of closeness that is only for a man & a woman. I am an obsessive thinker, I constantly ask myself questions that I know cannot be answered. I have slight ADD and procrastinate to an extremity. I daydream CONSTANTLY. I get very little done each day because I don't NEED to do anything. Instead I socialize A LOT. But even when I'm surround with friends I can feel very alone. Like I want more love, and I want to be loved more.

I have also tried 'gratitude attitude' therapy. It works temporarily. In conclusion, no matter what, no matter how perfect everything is, for no reason at all, my heart just feels sad & I just burst into tears. I have only been happy when i am with a person 24/7 & we are inlove, but that also brings great pain eventually.I feel like I am half missing without a man in my life. I ALWAYS feel happier when I am in a relationship. But I feel like I am too weird & there is no one who really matches me. The ones I felt love for didn't love me back, & the ones who loved me I didn't so always broke up because it made me feel guilty staying with them.

Is this just manic depression? Do I sound mentally unstable? Do I need medicine or is there a better solution from mother earth? Help! IIN?

Voting Results

78% Normal

Based on 65 votes (51 yes)

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Comments ( 18 )

Ldizzy1234

12 years ago

Stuff like what you just explained, is nothing that I haven't heard of before. You're definitely not alone. But I think you'd feel a lot better if you found someone to confide in about this, probably a therapist. It sounds like "life" and your own emotions are finally getting to you. You might be battling with some form of depression.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Thanks. I will see a therapist. I just got 98% on a codependency test. I'm sick of being sick. My life could be great and beautiful but I've been wasting it.
  
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EPR73

12 years ago

I am assuming you have been sexually liberated since you have a daughter. How long were you in a relationship with the father?

In terms of friends, I too have been going through what you have been going through. My family is "living comfortably" and I started realizing people obsessing over the material items I possessed that I didn't feel like contributed to my character so I slowly started pushing the superficial people out of my life. How I live my life now compared to when I was younger, say around 18, is 100% more mundane. I am keeping a rather low profile and never flaunt about money. Especially in this economy... I'd get taken for a ride every time I went out.

And yes the connection between a man and woman is special, but you're incorporating the chemical emotions that arise from sex, (endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, etc.) into the relationship that could be superficial to start out with. I think you need to realize this aspect of a sexually active relationship and see if its really this that you're missing and not the actual friendship.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Thank you for your answer. I really I appreciate the advice.
  
  I haven't had superficial relationships with men. In the end, we both weren't in love. Our personalities didn't match. Sex has never been an issue.
  
  I have just never found someone I felt compatible with or fallen 'inlove' In retrospect, I was always creating something in my mind, especially if they rejected me, but never with someone I knew well or was close to. Obviously I've never been trully in love if I'm doubting it.
  
  Anyway, my big question is, why am I sad without any serious problems? Is it just loneliness?
  
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  - EPR73
    
    12 years ago
    
    You said you were a mother in the original post. I am curious to hear what happened to that relationship. Creating a child with someone can cause alot of psychological damage if the father is no longer with you.
    
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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

You sound like you are codependent. Why not look that up and see if it fits. At any rate, humans only change when they have a good reason to do so. You seem pretty complacent about your life right now, in spite of your emotional complaints.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Very insightful! I looked it up and it describes me completely. Thank you for your help. :)
  
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milabu

12 years ago

Maybe your dissatisfaction with your great life is genetically inherited ?

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Vampgirl

12 years ago

You sound very normal to me....I was like you and I'm still struggling with it sometimes. I used to think no one loved me for me and was just using me and that no one cared if I was around or not. I saw a professional about it and I realised I had huge self confidence issues. You can not truelly love someone until you've learnt to love yourself! As soon as my attidude towards myself changed, my depression ended and I met my husband....I got help, please do the same!

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B^{D

12 years ago

wow! i was surprised at what you wrote because i accidentally clicked on this question and mostly everything that you are going through im going through as well.....i dont have ALOT of money but i can manage i just feel the same way as you do.....EXACTLY the same wasy as you do....

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emilydoll

12 years ago

Too*

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emilydoll

12 years ago

That's your problem. You think to much.

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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

what is the missing jig saw piece? something is not there in your story, i wonder what it is. maybe something unspoken or unrealized. i hope you get good advice here cause you sound nice

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  I hope I find it too. I'll definitely share any helpful discoveries on here when I find them. So far 'co-dependency' seems to describe me to a T, I'm seeking treatment asap. Thanks ;)
  
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[Old Memory]

12 years ago

You sound like me. Does your realizations, from over thinking, result in depression?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Definitely! I think WAY too much and I'm not sure how to stop. My friends sometimes get annoyed because I psycho analyze everything, down to what we're having for breakfast, everything.
  
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howaminotmyself

12 years ago

Love can be found in many places. It isn't just for one man and one woman. I'm sorry you sometimes feel alone. I'd love to give you a big hug and maybe buy you a coffee, beer, or tea and chat a while.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Thank you that is very kind! :) But I live in Europe :(
  
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal my heart feels sad but my life is great