What I read is that she was understanding about your heart condition since that didn't have any possible implications for her personally, but as soon as she learned that you had a medical problem which could potentially affect her health, she bailed.
You may have been together for five years, but frankly it sounds like it was a pretty superficial relationship.
You say you thought telling her was the right thing to do. Clearly, it is the responsible thing to do, since you've been having sex and you could have infected her. But the way you word that comment suggests you considered _not_ telling her, and you only mentioned it because you believed she would be understanding. Knowing what you know now, if you could go back in time, would you still tell her? If you wouldn't, then I think you need to consider just how much you care about the woman.
Is it possible she didn't believe you when you said that, prior to your recent test results, you didn't know you had the virus? That might make her reaction more understandable.
Maybe she knows Hep C is bad news, but she doesn't know much more than that? Maybe she doesn't know that it's very rare for it to be passed on by sex? Maybe she doesn't know that it can be treated and usually cured these days? Maybe she knows someone who was given Hep C or some other serious viral infection by a partner who had lied about their health?
Maybe she was just looking for a reason to end the relationship, and you saying you had Hep C was a good enough excuse for her?
Only she knows why she responded as she did. Only you can know if your actions truly were moral, responsible, and caring.
You're right - it's not your fault that you have the virus. You didn't pick it up by engaging in risky or irresponsible behavior, so that makes it even shittier that you have it. And it isn't fair at all that she dumped you because of something totally beyond your control. But people do this stuff. If you're certain you behaved correctly, then you can put all responsibility for her response on her, and you have to move on.
Get your treatment. Once you have the all clear, talk to the medics and do some research on your own to see if there is any possibility it might recur. In your next relationship, have a frank talk about your respective health statuses early on, and don't try to hide anything.
Well I really did care about her. I loved her more than anything, so I felt she had a right to know about my Hep C. So I did my part by explaining to her. I told her that I had no idea about it. I also explained to her that the doctors are already working on getting me treated. I basically told her everything, yet she still left. I tried asking her why she's acting like this, but she just goes "I don't have to explain myself to you."
She's right - she doesn't have to explain herself to you.
But I'm sure you realize that's what people say when they either don't know why they've done what they've done, or they know they've behaved like an asshat, but they don't want to admit it.
She doesn't have to justify her actions to you; she feels what she feels, and that's all you can really expect someone to tell you. She doesn't even need to understand why she feels the way she does, although I think people who blunder through life just "feeling" and never even trying to understand their own motivations are pretty stupid.
Shutting down the conversation the way she did is emotionally immature. You and she had something going on for several years and she knew you loved her, so it's also very disrespectful.
Sorry, guy, but I think you have to face the fact that she doesn't want to be with you. If she did, her response to your unpleasant news would have been along the lines of, "How is this going to affect you? How will it affect us? What can we do about this?" not stomping off and slamming the door behind her.
Would you have responded as she did if the positions had been reversed? Given what you say, it seems unlikely. Therefore, you also have to face the fact that your love for her was not reciprocated.
You're not at fault here; she is. The best you can do is chalk it up to experience, and move on.
Oh, and if she should happen to return, think very carefully before jumping back in the pool. From what you say, it sounds like she has issues that she's either unable to articulate, or unwilling to discuss with you. That's not good.
Is it normal my girlfriend left me over having Hepatitis C?
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What I read is that she was understanding about your heart condition since that didn't have any possible implications for her personally, but as soon as she learned that you had a medical problem which could potentially affect her health, she bailed.
You may have been together for five years, but frankly it sounds like it was a pretty superficial relationship.
You say you thought telling her was the right thing to do. Clearly, it is the responsible thing to do, since you've been having sex and you could have infected her. But the way you word that comment suggests you considered _not_ telling her, and you only mentioned it because you believed she would be understanding. Knowing what you know now, if you could go back in time, would you still tell her? If you wouldn't, then I think you need to consider just how much you care about the woman.
Is it possible she didn't believe you when you said that, prior to your recent test results, you didn't know you had the virus? That might make her reaction more understandable.
Maybe she knows Hep C is bad news, but she doesn't know much more than that? Maybe she doesn't know that it's very rare for it to be passed on by sex? Maybe she doesn't know that it can be treated and usually cured these days? Maybe she knows someone who was given Hep C or some other serious viral infection by a partner who had lied about their health?
Maybe she was just looking for a reason to end the relationship, and you saying you had Hep C was a good enough excuse for her?
Only she knows why she responded as she did. Only you can know if your actions truly were moral, responsible, and caring.
You're right - it's not your fault that you have the virus. You didn't pick it up by engaging in risky or irresponsible behavior, so that makes it even shittier that you have it. And it isn't fair at all that she dumped you because of something totally beyond your control. But people do this stuff. If you're certain you behaved correctly, then you can put all responsibility for her response on her, and you have to move on.
Get your treatment. Once you have the all clear, talk to the medics and do some research on your own to see if there is any possibility it might recur. In your next relationship, have a frank talk about your respective health statuses early on, and don't try to hide anything.
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vagman30
5 years ago
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Well I really did care about her. I loved her more than anything, so I felt she had a right to know about my Hep C. So I did my part by explaining to her. I told her that I had no idea about it. I also explained to her that the doctors are already working on getting me treated. I basically told her everything, yet she still left. I tried asking her why she's acting like this, but she just goes "I don't have to explain myself to you."
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Boojum
5 years ago
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She's right - she doesn't have to explain herself to you.
But I'm sure you realize that's what people say when they either don't know why they've done what they've done, or they know they've behaved like an asshat, but they don't want to admit it.
She doesn't have to justify her actions to you; she feels what she feels, and that's all you can really expect someone to tell you. She doesn't even need to understand why she feels the way she does, although I think people who blunder through life just "feeling" and never even trying to understand their own motivations are pretty stupid.
Shutting down the conversation the way she did is emotionally immature. You and she had something going on for several years and she knew you loved her, so it's also very disrespectful.
Sorry, guy, but I think you have to face the fact that she doesn't want to be with you. If she did, her response to your unpleasant news would have been along the lines of, "How is this going to affect you? How will it affect us? What can we do about this?" not stomping off and slamming the door behind her.
Would you have responded as she did if the positions had been reversed? Given what you say, it seems unlikely. Therefore, you also have to face the fact that your love for her was not reciprocated.
You're not at fault here; she is. The best you can do is chalk it up to experience, and move on.
Oh, and if she should happen to return, think very carefully before jumping back in the pool. From what you say, it sounds like she has issues that she's either unable to articulate, or unwilling to discuss with you. That's not good.