Some reasonable, well-argued comments, but some sound like they come from teenagers who never grew up.
Clearly, neither you nor your daughter are happy living together. Once she's an adult, you don't need to live together.
I agree with you: if she wants to be independent, then let her be independent. She'll quickly learn just how much you've dealt with on her behalf.
If you're willing to support her while she gets a degree, but only if she has a long-term plan, make that the condition for the financial support. There's no cosmic law that you have to start college immediately after finishing high school. If she spends some time living independently in the real world and matures emotionally a little, she might decide what she wants to do with her life. Then you can be a good parent and help her achieve that goal.
However, I would say that you demanding that she get a degree that leads to a "nice, high-earning job" would be shallow and materialistic. Being an accountant or lawyer might be your definition of a successful life, but the accountants and lawyers in their shiny new cars and big houses are doing a pretty good job of totally screwing up the world for the rest of us.
A good parent wants their child to find their true vocation and work at something that gives them joy and makes the world a better place.
I'm not going to financially support her at all after she is 18. It isn't worth it if she is leaning towards a useless job (that doesn't pay well and doesn't "make the world a better place") or useless degree.
IIN my daughter is being terribly disrespectful and whiny?
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Some reasonable, well-argued comments, but some sound like they come from teenagers who never grew up.
Clearly, neither you nor your daughter are happy living together. Once she's an adult, you don't need to live together.
I agree with you: if she wants to be independent, then let her be independent. She'll quickly learn just how much you've dealt with on her behalf.
If you're willing to support her while she gets a degree, but only if she has a long-term plan, make that the condition for the financial support. There's no cosmic law that you have to start college immediately after finishing high school. If she spends some time living independently in the real world and matures emotionally a little, she might decide what she wants to do with her life. Then you can be a good parent and help her achieve that goal.
However, I would say that you demanding that she get a degree that leads to a "nice, high-earning job" would be shallow and materialistic. Being an accountant or lawyer might be your definition of a successful life, but the accountants and lawyers in their shiny new cars and big houses are doing a pretty good job of totally screwing up the world for the rest of us.
A good parent wants their child to find their true vocation and work at something that gives them joy and makes the world a better place.
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I'm not going to financially support her at all after she is 18. It isn't worth it if she is leaning towards a useless job (that doesn't pay well and doesn't "make the world a better place") or useless degree.