It's great you're worried for your son, it doesn't sound like he has developed a healthy level of self-esteem yet and is therefore not ready for the adult world.
It doesn't matter that your two children were raised under the same roof with the same parents, everyone is an individual with different temperaments. What makes one child blossom, can have no effect on another child.
Another thing to keep in mind, is the influences on the child from outside of the home; once children hit puberty, their peers and school-life increasingly become the predominant influence in their lives. Sometimes kids don't even have a peer group, they are so isolated they only have themselves or a few connections they've made with people online. It happens.
Hopefully, neither of your children have ever noticed you or your their father comparing the two of them - that can have devastating psychological consequences for the child that is coming up inferior. Shaming him for not being ambitious would be another huge mistake, so hopefully that hasn't happened either.
He would likely benefit from seeing a counselor for a few months. It can be expensive, but some psychologists work on a sliding pay-scale. It's okay to shop around for a psychologist in order to find one that you think will be a good fit for your son - you'll be paying for their services, so might as well make sure it will be someone who will connect well with him.
If you don't want outside help, then it could be helpful to do some research on how to help teenagers who suffer from social anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression. Be patient and understanding so that he doesn't feel like there's something "wrong" with him. He's likely harder on himself than you might think, even if he never vocalizes it.
It's really great that you care so much about him. :) Good luck.
Is it normal my daughter has future plans and my son does not?
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It's great you're worried for your son, it doesn't sound like he has developed a healthy level of self-esteem yet and is therefore not ready for the adult world.
It doesn't matter that your two children were raised under the same roof with the same parents, everyone is an individual with different temperaments. What makes one child blossom, can have no effect on another child.
Another thing to keep in mind, is the influences on the child from outside of the home; once children hit puberty, their peers and school-life increasingly become the predominant influence in their lives. Sometimes kids don't even have a peer group, they are so isolated they only have themselves or a few connections they've made with people online. It happens.
Hopefully, neither of your children have ever noticed you or your their father comparing the two of them - that can have devastating psychological consequences for the child that is coming up inferior. Shaming him for not being ambitious would be another huge mistake, so hopefully that hasn't happened either.
He would likely benefit from seeing a counselor for a few months. It can be expensive, but some psychologists work on a sliding pay-scale. It's okay to shop around for a psychologist in order to find one that you think will be a good fit for your son - you'll be paying for their services, so might as well make sure it will be someone who will connect well with him.
If you don't want outside help, then it could be helpful to do some research on how to help teenagers who suffer from social anxiety, low self-esteem, and depression. Be patient and understanding so that he doesn't feel like there's something "wrong" with him. He's likely harder on himself than you might think, even if he never vocalizes it.
It's really great that you care so much about him. :) Good luck.