There are some really insensitive comments here. Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. Secondly, sex is only one part of a relationship. Important as it is, there are more important things, such as communication. You say you haven't discussed this with your partner. I think you should, precisely because it's having such an impact.
I agree that you should consider therapy. Personally, I'm a bit wary about the 'cult of abuse' that exists in our current culture, with semi-skilled therapists doing more to aggravate and perpetuate the effects of the abuse (or even create trauma that wasn't there), so I would advise treading carefully and remaining critical. It's a profession full of charlatans. I would also be wary of any approach that seeks to tackle your 'performance anxiety' first and foremost, as this would seem merely palliative. You need to get to the heart of the matter with competent help and your partner's support.
Lastly, I would say this: much as you want to please your partner, sex isn't just about pleasing people. It's an expression of mutual desire or affection, or even love. And expression isn't about playing roles, unless those roles are a genuine extension of your personality. If you don't feel comfortable with something, you don't have to do it. Not every man wants a porn star in the bedroom, by the way.
IIN my boyfriend thinks I am bad in bed?
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There are some really insensitive comments here. Firstly, I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. Secondly, sex is only one part of a relationship. Important as it is, there are more important things, such as communication. You say you haven't discussed this with your partner. I think you should, precisely because it's having such an impact.
I agree that you should consider therapy. Personally, I'm a bit wary about the 'cult of abuse' that exists in our current culture, with semi-skilled therapists doing more to aggravate and perpetuate the effects of the abuse (or even create trauma that wasn't there), so I would advise treading carefully and remaining critical. It's a profession full of charlatans. I would also be wary of any approach that seeks to tackle your 'performance anxiety' first and foremost, as this would seem merely palliative. You need to get to the heart of the matter with competent help and your partner's support.
Lastly, I would say this: much as you want to please your partner, sex isn't just about pleasing people. It's an expression of mutual desire or affection, or even love. And expression isn't about playing roles, unless those roles are a genuine extension of your personality. If you don't feel comfortable with something, you don't have to do it. Not every man wants a porn star in the bedroom, by the way.