And yes, i know self esteems takes a big hit from that.
But be assured that things not working out does not need to mean something is wrong with you.
Obviously, you were the "problem" to him, but ASIDE from the very real possibility that the problem in fact lies with HIM, there's also a huge chance neither of you is to blame for anything.
I know this won't help much, especially so shortly after, but once you are ready to pull yourself back on your feet, try and not let this get to you!
You sound like a good, gentle and caring individual, and considering what you wrote here, any guy should be happy to have you as partner.
As long as you manage to not fall into a deep emotional hole and become a unstable emotional liability.
By all means, make sure you don't go that way.
Do what's necessary to make yourself see that you are a great person! An overweight friend of mine once went to a swingers club alone after a breakup simply because men wanting sex with her there showed her that she WAS in fact not as ugly, unattractive and chanceless as she herself believed she was.
Not exactly suggesting that because i KNOW everybody has different ways to cope, but what i'm actually trying to say: if there's parts of you that you doubt, it's also a great time to reinvent yourself. You think you cannot do something? You think something about you is bad? Go ahead and try. Put things to the test, and go for extremes. See how far you can push the limits.
If you expect to fail, to be rejected, to be unable to do things, then the worst you can do is fulfill your expectations...you may have been afraid of that, but now is a time of change, and at least you can stop worrying and reorient yourself then. And let me assure you, if you try, you will most likely surprise yourself. You wanted to do sports? Go ahead and do it two or three times a week now that you have more time, don't sob on the couch, get active and you'll be surprised on your progress after 2 weeks. You think you can't cook? Go crazy with some complicated recipes you'd never consider trying if someone was to eat with you. You feel you are not attractive? See above(an important note: those clubs have a "everything can, nothing must"-policy...so you can also just visit without any real obligations)...anyway, push those limits and use this as a CHANCE once you are ready...(naturally you need some time to cope...just be sure that you don't roll over and die :P )
Is it normal my boyfriend goes soft during sex?
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I am really sorry to hear that -_-
And yes, i know self esteems takes a big hit from that.
But be assured that things not working out does not need to mean something is wrong with you.
Obviously, you were the "problem" to him, but ASIDE from the very real possibility that the problem in fact lies with HIM, there's also a huge chance neither of you is to blame for anything.
I know this won't help much, especially so shortly after, but once you are ready to pull yourself back on your feet, try and not let this get to you!
You sound like a good, gentle and caring individual, and considering what you wrote here, any guy should be happy to have you as partner.
As long as you manage to not fall into a deep emotional hole and become a unstable emotional liability.
By all means, make sure you don't go that way.
Do what's necessary to make yourself see that you are a great person! An overweight friend of mine once went to a swingers club alone after a breakup simply because men wanting sex with her there showed her that she WAS in fact not as ugly, unattractive and chanceless as she herself believed she was.
Not exactly suggesting that because i KNOW everybody has different ways to cope, but what i'm actually trying to say: if there's parts of you that you doubt, it's also a great time to reinvent yourself. You think you cannot do something? You think something about you is bad? Go ahead and try. Put things to the test, and go for extremes. See how far you can push the limits.
If you expect to fail, to be rejected, to be unable to do things, then the worst you can do is fulfill your expectations...you may have been afraid of that, but now is a time of change, and at least you can stop worrying and reorient yourself then. And let me assure you, if you try, you will most likely surprise yourself. You wanted to do sports? Go ahead and do it two or three times a week now that you have more time, don't sob on the couch, get active and you'll be surprised on your progress after 2 weeks. You think you can't cook? Go crazy with some complicated recipes you'd never consider trying if someone was to eat with you. You feel you are not attractive? See above(an important note: those clubs have a "everything can, nothing must"-policy...so you can also just visit without any real obligations)...anyway, push those limits and use this as a CHANCE once you are ready...(naturally you need some time to cope...just be sure that you don't roll over and die :P )
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SheepLovingLady
11 years ago
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You really are lovely! Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to write such a reply, I really appreciate it!
I won't roll over and die :P And I'll take what you said into account. Changing a few things sounds good right now. :)
I'm a little upset and confused right now, but I'll be fine soon.
Thanks again! :)