If there is one piece of advice I can give you and hope you take it to heart, it is that your self esteem must be dependant on *you* and no one else.
When I was in middle and high school I was the "ugly girl". Being painfully weird didn't help with that at all. After I got out of school I changed my look and ran around for a while trying to get as many people as possible to tell me how attractive I was. Boyfriends, going out to bars and places like that dressed all nice... And it didn't do shit.
The only thing that helped me start to feel better about my appearance was the realization that I have to see it in myself if I want other people to see it in me.
Start with maybe each day writing down 5 things you like about yourself. If there are things that you truly don't like about yourself, first evaluate if it's because of
1. SOmething someone else said
or 2. Something that you honestly dislike and wish to improve upon.
Once you have determined that it is a change you want to make for you and no one else, add it to your list. But don't stop writing down the positive things, and keep the 5-1 ratio or something like that. More positives, always.
And this is not me saying go out and change your appearance or get surgery or do anything drastic. Change your thought patterns and behavoirs and cut out bad habits, but the goal is always to be more true to yourself at the same time as finding reasons to love that self.
....Whew, that one was a doozie. Sorry for the novel :P
Thanks for taking the time to write the novel. :P Honestly though, I really appreciate your comment. I'll try that (although I only have three positives at the minute). Thanks!
Is it normal my boyfriend goes soft during sex?
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If there is one piece of advice I can give you and hope you take it to heart, it is that your self esteem must be dependant on *you* and no one else.
When I was in middle and high school I was the "ugly girl". Being painfully weird didn't help with that at all. After I got out of school I changed my look and ran around for a while trying to get as many people as possible to tell me how attractive I was. Boyfriends, going out to bars and places like that dressed all nice... And it didn't do shit.
The only thing that helped me start to feel better about my appearance was the realization that I have to see it in myself if I want other people to see it in me.
Start with maybe each day writing down 5 things you like about yourself. If there are things that you truly don't like about yourself, first evaluate if it's because of
1. SOmething someone else said
or 2. Something that you honestly dislike and wish to improve upon.
Once you have determined that it is a change you want to make for you and no one else, add it to your list. But don't stop writing down the positive things, and keep the 5-1 ratio or something like that. More positives, always.
And this is not me saying go out and change your appearance or get surgery or do anything drastic. Change your thought patterns and behavoirs and cut out bad habits, but the goal is always to be more true to yourself at the same time as finding reasons to love that self.
....Whew, that one was a doozie. Sorry for the novel :P
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SheepLovingLady
11 years ago
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Thanks for taking the time to write the novel. :P Honestly though, I really appreciate your comment. I'll try that (although I only have three positives at the minute). Thanks!