Ok here's the thing..you need to re evaluate the way you interact with men. There are certain body language cues that will make people believe that you are telegraphing interest. It's all very instinctual. How long do you hold eye contact? Too much and it will trick a man's brain into thinking that you are interested. Do you mimic other people's body language? That's another one. How close do you stand to others?
Just making small alterations to your body language and being aware of what you're doing will go a long way in solving your problem. What I got from this post is that it's really not the other men that are a problem, it's you. And you're aware of it, but you're not sure what you need to do to fix it. Read up on body language and try to assess if you are doing any of the things that create attraction.
She seems very aware that she's sending mixed signals to men. How would it be the man's fault in this particular situation if he thinks she is showing signs of attraction because of the kind of body language she's exhibiting? Don't give me a bunch of retarded feminist bullshit either. I hate that crap.
No, she seems aware that no matter what she does besides being outright rude gets misinterpreted as an invitation for a date/sex.
It's quite common. Guys see what they want to see.A guy will think a girl purposely did any innocent act as indication that she wants him. General politeness included.
It's an impossible game. You are either asking for it or you are a bitch/tease when neither of those things are true.
She's not aware of this or she wouldn't have asked the question.
So men can't control whether not they grope a woman they THINK is showing certain signs? You have a much lower opinion of men than I do as a feminist. It doesn't matter what they think she's doing or not doing, they can still choose how to respond.
Who knows what she considers groping. People embellish their stories. Maybe the guy just placed his hand on her shoulder. She's confused about the false signals she's giving men and she came on here to get advice. I think my advice is perfectly sound. It doesn't hurt to take a step back and really think about how you are interacting with others.
And of course women embellish their stories and she's giving false signals. She's not confused about what she's doing but you are. Maybe you should take a step back and really think about your misogyny
I'd like to hear from the OP on this. Not some feminist idiot. OP? Chime in on this. You already stirred up enough trouble by making this thread so the least you could do is give us some more information so we can figure this whole thing out.
I doubt @:buncho's_butt is a misogynist: He seems like he genuinely wants to help me, he is very respectful in his comments. IDK if morality is on your side or his, but my situation is more complicated than "men are pigs", I think. And coming here calling people names does not help me. At least Boncho made an attempt.
I consider groping any kind of physical contact without my consent, while done for the sexual pleasure of the groping party. Placing hand on shoulder can count as well if done with that intent...
P.S. I had a manager where I work give me a friendly hug (I consedered him a friend then) and then he said "I hope it felt as nice to you as it did for me". It felt horrible.
IIN men seem to misinterpret me being nice as invitation for sex
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Ok here's the thing..you need to re evaluate the way you interact with men. There are certain body language cues that will make people believe that you are telegraphing interest. It's all very instinctual. How long do you hold eye contact? Too much and it will trick a man's brain into thinking that you are interested. Do you mimic other people's body language? That's another one. How close do you stand to others?
Just making small alterations to your body language and being aware of what you're doing will go a long way in solving your problem. What I got from this post is that it's really not the other men that are a problem, it's you. And you're aware of it, but you're not sure what you need to do to fix it. Read up on body language and try to assess if you are doing any of the things that create attraction.
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Ellenna
7 years ago
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Oh of course it would be the woman's creating the problem if men grope her, wouldn't it? What century are you living in?
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bucho's_butt
7 years ago
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She seems very aware that she's sending mixed signals to men. How would it be the man's fault in this particular situation if he thinks she is showing signs of attraction because of the kind of body language she's exhibiting? Don't give me a bunch of retarded feminist bullshit either. I hate that crap.
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wigz
7 years ago
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Ellenna
7 years ago
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No, she seems aware that no matter what she does besides being outright rude gets misinterpreted as an invitation for a date/sex.
It's quite common. Guys see what they want to see.A guy will think a girl purposely did any innocent act as indication that she wants him. General politeness included.
It's an impossible game. You are either asking for it or you are a bitch/tease when neither of those things are true.
She's not aware of this or she wouldn't have asked the question.
So men can't control whether not they grope a woman they THINK is showing certain signs? You have a much lower opinion of men than I do as a feminist. It doesn't matter what they think she's doing or not doing, they can still choose how to respond.
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bucho's_butt
7 years ago
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Who knows what she considers groping. People embellish their stories. Maybe the guy just placed his hand on her shoulder. She's confused about the false signals she's giving men and she came on here to get advice. I think my advice is perfectly sound. It doesn't hurt to take a step back and really think about how you are interacting with others.
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Ellenna
7 years ago
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andreth
7 years ago
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And of course women embellish their stories and she's giving false signals. She's not confused about what she's doing but you are. Maybe you should take a step back and really think about your misogyny
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andreth
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I'd like to hear from the OP on this. Not some feminist idiot. OP? Chime in on this. You already stirred up enough trouble by making this thread so the least you could do is give us some more information so we can figure this whole thing out.
I doubt @:buncho's_butt is a misogynist: He seems like he genuinely wants to help me, he is very respectful in his comments. IDK if morality is on your side or his, but my situation is more complicated than "men are pigs", I think. And coming here calling people names does not help me. At least Boncho made an attempt.
I consider groping any kind of physical contact without my consent, while done for the sexual pleasure of the groping party. Placing hand on shoulder can count as well if done with that intent...
P.S. I had a manager where I work give me a friendly hug (I consedered him a friend then) and then he said "I hope it felt as nice to you as it did for me". It felt horrible.