I've never heard of the "if you shake your hand, you're committing an aposty in Islam" rule. I'm a Muslim and I do shake hands (heck I'll even hug random people) with anyone who offers it. You could also consider other aspects of the dude. Maybe he was taught culturally to not shake hands with women (he's not married or related to). I can't confirm the ritual purification thing because I'm not a Shia. But so far, I've never heard of it before lol.
Is it normal it upset me that a Muslim wouldn't shake my hand?
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I've never heard of the "if you shake your hand, you're committing an aposty in Islam" rule. I'm a Muslim and I do shake hands (heck I'll even hug random people) with anyone who offers it. You could also consider other aspects of the dude. Maybe he was taught culturally to not shake hands with women (he's not married or related to). I can't confirm the ritual purification thing because I'm not a Shia. But so far, I've never heard of it before lol.